Whoa, now. Don’t overdo it.
Hahaha, well, except for being in bed with Apple!
I don’t concern myself with the meaning of life. I am, as far as the day to day things in life very much an optimist. That doesn’t mean I don’t have days when I worry about this or that, but I try not to dwell on things because it never helps anyway.
It also helps if you haven’t really accomplished all that much by the time you hit midlife. There’s not really all that far downhill to go.
Beer. Beer goes down really well. It’s the best kind of downhill.
Indeed, beer is pretty much my go-to vice. I drink much less at a time, compared to college age me, but I do like a beer or two maybe every other day at this point. I’m not down with this weird “milk stout” trend I’ve seen on the boards lately (I mean seriously, just the words “milk stout” are nauseating) but hey, whatever floats your boat.
5, 5, and 8. Long way to go, more than a decade. I am intensely curious to learn what kind of human beings my kids turn out to be.
That’s just it: I don’t want anything. I did everything I set out to do. Outside of my ongoing responsibilities to other people, I’m done. Now I just “hang out”, but I have historically been awful at just “hanging out”… it makes me bonkers, completely nuts. Relaxing, to me, is a form of torture.
I need to get better at empowering other people, but the main way you do that is by throwing money around in today’s world, and that’s fine, but it’s not very satisfying, either. I need to think about this some more, since there is no responsible option other than living your life out until the bitter natural end.
Time to start the wumpus foundation, or see if you can work with a microchip manufacturer to make an alternative to Qualcomm. I’m being serious as well, something you are passionate about.
Once you secure your future, then secure your kids’ future, the next step should be to work on making your community better. That can be a charity like volunteering, or entrepreneurship to to do something bigger for society.
Me? I’m still working on the generational wealth step, so I’ll get back to you in about 20 years with my plan for carbon-free housing.
As exasperating, infuriating and exhausting as my kids can be, I can’t imagine wanting to wrap things up with them in my life. No checklist of personal accomplishments is as gratifying, or beautiful, as simply spending time with friends, family, and more than anything else, my kids. Helping them achieve their own goals is a wonderful gift, but that’s not the driving force. It’s simply the joy of being in each other’s company and shared experiences.*
In fact, I do feel my kids are growing up fast. Maybe when they were 5 and 2, I felt that shit was slow, but at 11 and 8, they’re real people, and we can have real conversations.
*…granted my kids aren’t quite teens yet, so these feelings may change. :)
EDIT: BTW, if you explore philanthropy, a good place to start would be a ‘Kids of Qt3 Members College Scholarship Program.’ :P
They have a socially conscious father who uses critical thinking skills and hasn’t isolated himself from understanding the challenges this country faces. That has already given them the opportunity to be good people when they become adults. Those familial qualities are in short supply in this country.
I live in California, man. People are are falling all over themselves trying to be progressive and helping others and building sustainable everything up in this joint. Do they really need my help?
If I want to move the needle, I need to move to Kentucky or some other backwards red state area. That’s … a bridge too far. I’ll send money or whatever, but relocating to Kentucky is not happening.
That’s technically what the software we are using here is about. It’s free and open source, etc.
Hitting closer to home, maybe we should just raise money to help @jpinard improve his treatment and thus quality of life? First of all, frops, second, any fan of the show Clarence is a friend of mine. Are you open to a gofundme we can publicize and contribute to?
This is an important thread and I have appreciated reading through it. I noticed that all of the quotes given on the subject by famous people are all by men, as are all of the posters in the thread. At least, I think this is true.
Anyhow, I feel like this topic really really needs the voices of women in it. I believe that their voices will bring balance and hope.
I suspect that the next quote will be from a female author who urges us all to hurry up and die. :)
Either there aren’t many women on the forum or they choose to remain sexless for obvious reasons. I don’t really see why a woman’s experience of ennui would be different than a man’s, but do feel free to correct me if I’m wrong!
One thing that I’ve found to be fun is to create little games and/or apps for my kids (plus physical things). It works best when you involve them in the process. They get excited, you get to create something, it doesn’t have to be perfect because they aren’t super critical judges, etc. That might be a good place to start.
Or, if you want to build off of Discourse, instead of passively waiting for non-profits to come to you and ask for help, you could start to reach out and see if you can help some good organizations improve their communications, etc. It’s certainly needed in the non-profit world.
I tend to keep myself too busy and then wish I had more time for personal projects. I joined a local school board and took on an unpaid fellowship to help with humanitarian causes. There’s no end to stuff to do out there, of all different types in all different industries.
Sometimes you need to just allow yourself to get bored for a while for the good ideas to bubble to the surface.
One random thing that I always thought would be fun to do, if I had the time and money, would be to commission a bunch of game art around a theme and then hold a contest wherein the people participating had to use the art but could make whatever game they wanted. Give them rights to the game and a prize, etc. It would be fun to see what a bunch of people could do with the same art. Something like a Kaggle for game development.
I think that’s part of the side I don’t enjoy either. I feel like I moved into this age where I just say, “fuck it,” way too often. Caring, beyond people I love, has gone down. The drive to do something new has gone down. I just want to coast, but the part of me that wants to be busy isn’t happy with that. To summarize it, one foot in retirement-mode and one foot in be-productive mode. Both want to walk their separate ways.
I wish I had advice for it. Hell, with as many of us here in that age range, we surely have someone with better tips.
OK, so Misguided had the right of it from the start, this is just a midlife crisis thread. Which sure, well and good, though what that had to do with Ray Batty and choosing your time to die escapes me. Hope you find a cool new thing to focus your attention on, like a sports car or something.
You sure you have been out in your own community? I live in California, and I can tell you there are organizations all over looking for volunteers, looking for money and ideas. Looking to help the homeless and the poor. My parents volunteered for years at a local community hospital. Schools look for volunteer help.
Your kids are actually at the nexus of becoming very busy little human beings if you let them. Between school activities and sports they can ruin ( :) ) your weekends for the next 12-14 years. Help them find themselves and help them learn. Schools do nothing without active parents.
Heh, correct you if you’re wrong. Okay.
In feudal Japan a peasant was digging a stump from a field. He flung a shovelful of dirt over his shoulder, and by chance it struck a passing samurai. The peasant grovelled before the warrior and begged forgiveness, but the samurai said, “Since you fancy yourself worthy of striking me, you shall have your chance again tomorrow. Here is an old sword. Meet me on this spot at dawn. Do not try to flee.”
The poor peasant had never even held a sword before, but what could he do? He sought the advice of a wise old man who lived not far from his hut. The old man told him, “You must accept and know for certain that the samurai will kill you tomorrow. Don’t bother to practice. Stand with the sword and meditate upon the simple inevitable fact of your death. Then you will be ready.”
The peasant did not understand, but having no better ideas he did as he was bid. He walked out onto the road where the samurai would pass, held the sword before him with both hands, and closed his eyes. He relived each moment of his life as it had really been, its joys and sorrows, its squalor, and when his recollection reached the present he proceeded uncertainly into an exploration of his imminent death. At first he quailed before a vision of darkness, and we who are still alive can not hope to know how at last, shortly before dawn, he understood and knew his death for what it was.
The samurai arrived and, seeing the peasant, dismounted. He drew his own sword and stepped in front of the poor man. And they stood motionless, facing each other, for a full hour.
Finally the samurai sheathed his sword and said, “I could kill you with one strike, but I know you would also kill me. I could not find a way around your acceptance of death. You are a great warrior.” And he bowed and rode away.
That acceptance of death, and the reality of mortal life o Earth, is called suki.
I used to know a stripper in Dallas named Suki, but she spelled it differently.