Rush nailed in column

Man, this column really is dead on. It’s from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:,+here’s+how+Rush+might+spin+it&tetl=1

Somewhere in a parallel universe, where we are the same people but things have happened in slightly differently ways, Rush Limbaugh greets his loyal listeners this morning.

"Lots to talk about today. You all know already that Bill Clinton, our former president, has admitted an addiction to prescription drugs.

"It’s interesting to see the way the liberal media are playing this. I’m looking at a copy of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the Saturday, October 11th, edition - the day after the big announcement. Well, the story is on Page 2, and right next to his photograph, in large boldface print, is the following quote: ‘I take full responsibility for this problem.’

"That’s interesting, folks, because if you look at his actual statement - not what the liberal media say he said, but what he really said - you get a different take on it. First, he says he’s got back problems. So he’s blaming it on that. Then he says he had surgery, but the surgery wasn’t successful. So he’s blaming it on the doctors. Then he says the pain medication was addictive. So he’s blaming it on the pharmaceutical companies. Folks, he blames it on everybody but himself! But as long as he puts in that obligatory line about taking responsibility, that’s what the liberal media are going to grab: Clinton takes full responsibility!

"Here’s another interesting thing in his statement. I love this one. He says a lot of athletes have admitted drug problems and have been treated like heroes. Huh? Can you name one athlete who admitted a drug problem and was then treated like a hero? How about Darryl Strawberry? Maybe liberals thought Strawberry was a hero, but I don’t think most of us felt that way. And then Clinton says, ‘I refuse to let anyone think I’m doing something heroic here.’

"You want to know what that’s about? He’s telling his friends in the liberal media how he wants this thing played. He wants to be called a hero for admitting his problem. That’s why liberals confuse so many people. They mean the opposite of what they say.

"And I’m telling you folks, the liberal media are going to do it. He’s going to be a hero. I can already see the spin on this: Clinton accepts responsibility! Doesn’t blame others!

"I know you don’t believe me - ‘Rush, not even the liberal media can pull that one off!’ - but just watch. I’m telling you. Just watch.

"Another thing. I heard him on the radio the other day. He was whimpering, ‘I want to tell you about this because you’re like family to me.’ If there are any liberals out there listening, I’d like to ask you this: Weren’t you people like family six weeks ago? How about six months ago? Two years ago? But he didn’t feel the need to tell you then, did he? So why now? You think it could be because he’s been caught? Because his high-priced attorney has told him he’d better act remorseful?

"Speaking of getting caught, have any of you read about those tapes and e-mails the cops have? Heh, heh, heh. You won’t read them in the mainstream press, or hear about them on the Clinton News Network, but they’re a hoot. He sounds like he’s auditioning for a part in the next Cheech and Chong movie. He calls money “cabbage,” and he refers to his favorite pills as “blue babes.” It’s always interesting to hear the way somebody talks when he thinks nobody is listening.

“I know what liberals are going to say: ‘This is a time for compassion.’ Let me be very clear about this, folks. I have compassion. But my compassion is for all the people who believed in the guy. He was their shining star. He could do no wrong. But you know something? I probably don’t have to worry. Because his followers are going to still believe in him. That’s the thing about liberals! You can’t convince them! You can show them the facts. You can say, ‘Look, here is what he really said, and here is what he really did,’ but they don’t want to know the truth. That’s the big difference between them and us. Liberals are afraid of the truth.”

The follow-up column today deals with the email the writer got. It could be subtitled, Dittoheads Attack!

Thanks to technology I do not understand - blogs and links - Monday’s column attracted a wide audience. I have received e-mails from all over, including such exotic locales as Ireland, Austria, Canada, Japan, South Korea and California. In the spirit of El Rushbo, let’s move the conservative callers to the top of the screen.

“I believe the difference in Klinton (sic) and Rush is that one was a President of the United States in whom we had lost all faith, and the other is a talk-show host who many of us have come to trust. Most of us can understand the failings of a friend, but not the repeated lies of history’s most corrupt politician.” Marc S. of Peoria, Ill.

“How quickly you forget, Mr. McClellan. I’ll take a conservative addict over a liberal liar any day.” William P. of Ramona, Calif.

“Of course, Clinton is the worst addict of all - addicted to his own ego and, of course, sex.” Cherry B. of Elk Grove, Calif.

“Excuse me! I believe that Roger Clinton was caught on tape saying that Bill had a nose like a Hoover vacuum. That is what I would call an addict, wouldn’t you? Have you looked at Bill Clinton’s nose recently? That is the same nose you see in treatment centers for cocaine addiction.” Elizabeth T.

Dear Marc, William, Cherry, Elizabeth and everybody else who wrote to tell me how much they detest William Jefferson Clinton: Get over it. I didn’t like Clinton myself. How can you respect a guy who couldn’t figure out how to smoke? But he’s gone. For your own sanity, get over it.

“Did you ever have the stones to take Rush on when he was not in the hospital? Probably not. You expletive deleted.” Unsigned.

Dear Unsigned: How could I write about this before? You cannot accuse a person of drug addiction until there is proof of that addiction. Unless, of course, you’re a dittohead talking about Clinton. Many people wrote letters similar to the one from Elizabeth. Perhaps unfortunately, I hold myself to higher standards.

“Your glee is making true what we think of most liberal media types. No lifetime successes, the owner of a pencil but no apparent professional skills other than to print words. Check your panties, pal, you may need a change. When Rush gets back, he will still be counting his $15 million a year while you cash your paychecks at the local gas station. No matter how you play the game, the score at the end says it all and you, my friend, are a loser.” Kenneth P. of Grand Rapids, Mich.

Dear Kenneth: That’s a well-stated defense of Limbaugh. He couldn’t have said it any better. Megadittos.

“Your Limbaugh article was cruel, and I am not a Rush fan. Did they teach compassion at your journalism school? Anyone with an addiction needs help.” Bryan H.

“I just finished your article on Rush Limbaugh. I find it disgusting that you could actually make fun of someone who has just admitted that he is addicted to pain medication. Like him or not, I don’t see how you can feel good about making fun of someone else’s problems. My mother always said don’t ever say ‘never’ because it could happen to you.” Marilyn P.

Dear Bryan, Marilyn and everybody else who wondered why liberals don’t have compassion: I agree with Marilyn’s mother. What comes around, goes around. Limbaugh did not take a timeout for compassion when Ron Brown died, or when Vince Foster committed suicide. Nor when Jerry Garcia died. Then, too, there was the time the Clintons got a dog, and on Limbaugh’s television show, he said, heh, heh, there was a dog in the White House, and an unflattering photograph of Chelsea filled the screen. I think she was 13, at the time.

“Your column is a riot! You’ll probably get fan mail from dittoheads.” Mary M.

Dear Mary: Not exactly.

Wow. Reading the original column, I could hear rush saying that, he nails his speech pattern and bs lines perfectly.


I think it’s hyseterical he got nailed. I’m giggling with glee that the right has lost one of its glamour boys.

Next we’re gonna find out he’s gay, too. That’ll really through their entire world upside down.

Oooh! Oooh! Maybe, just maybe, we can find out he’s a secret member of the ELF!

Damn, that would be grand.

Rush has always been a blowhard tool,but the most pathetic beings on the planet are his ‘dittoheads’.The morons in his studio audience for his tv show actually made Maury Povich audiences seem highbrow in comparison.How unsurprising that his fans are such rabid apologists,since Rush has made apologism his life’s work.

This is hilarious too.


No Realmedia links, please.

Let’s keep the forum safe for mature internet browsers. We’ve all outgrown AOL here.

I agree. I think anyone who exclusively encodes in realmedia deserves Federal Pound Me in the Ass prison. Their software is clunky, spyware and bug ridden, and hasn’t worked without crashing on a single computer I bothered installing it on since '97. I gave up complete in '99, and have took every step since then to make sure any computer I worked on as a Tech had it promptly amputated.