School locked down after 'ninja' sighted in woods

School locked down after ‘ninja’ sighted in woods

BARNEGAT, N.J. - It’s the case of the nonexistent ninja. Public schools in Barnegat were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school.

Turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword.

Police tell the Asbury Park Press the man was late to a costume-themed day at a nearby middle school.

The lockdown began shortly after 9 a.m. Wednesday and lasted until 9:30.

If they see you, you aren’t a ninja.

All government and public facilities should be required by law to have contingency plans to deal with ninja attacks.

Well, to be fair to the school authorities, they had no indications that he wasn’t a Muslim ninja (or ninjihadi, as they’re sometimes known).

Ideally, they would issue letters of marque.

Whoa, you got pirate in my ninja!

They’re supposed to call for a samurai, or possibly a monk.

And everybody laughed when Dennis Kucinich tried to introduce the “One School, One Ninja” bill to Congress!

If a ninja takes a crap in the woods, does it make a sound?

I’ll have to ask my good friend, Tombei the Brown Mist…

Yeah why didn’t they call in the pirates.

It’s Ninjahadeen.

/terrorist fist bump ninja style

They should have known it wasn’t a real ninja by the simple fact that they were aware of his presence.

Maybe it was a feint?

I use to laugh at you paranoid amurricans, but this time I’d been alarmed too by reports about a guy derranged enough to think he’s a ninja and possibly armed.

Maybe it didn’t sound so downright silly to me because I vaguely remembered a case that I have now googled: In 1990 two guys here were condemned to almost 400 years for a dozen rapes and robberies commited on couples in some woods, while dressed and armed like ninjas. And that was a reduced sentence because they were pronounced “mentally unstable”.

That ninja was probably there because he hated our freedoms.