Screw him, should I be scared?

Hey, this guy was on my curtains:

We kind of squirted him with gentle cleanser and he ran and hid. Is he going to come out and make one of my limbs fall off?

Did he come out of your ass?

No, pretty sure not, I don’t know where he came from. I do have several siblings.

Then, is the spider bleeding out of ITS ass?

Spiders don’t bleed, they leak. And yes, it’s possible that he’s in poor health, RSofaer sprayed him with a gentle organic cleanser. In retrospect that may have been a sub-optimal course of action. I’ve always hated the thought of lethal injection. Give me the .50 cal to the brainstem if I’ve got to take one for the team.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah. I can’t go to bed because there’s a huge angsty spider loose in my room!

Curtains are so soft
What is that big warm creature?
It stings lemon fresh!

It was a gentle cleanser! Also, he was emo. Those dark abdomens and too tight exoskeletons just fucking piss me off. Once he started to recite poetry it was RAID time. Too bad all we had was gentle cleanser!

A picture like that generally needs something to indicate scale. A car or something.

He’s about the size of a quarter.

Is that a US size? A quarter what? Quarterpounder?

Size of a quarterpounder depends on how thin it’s rolled out. I think they must mean the size of a quarter ounce baggie.

Looks like a brown recluse spider.

Funny you should say that…

For all I know, you roll those coins down to the mall like cartwheels.

A quarter is about the size of a 10p piece.

Something that looks like that should have been killed on sight, just in case.


Just me that thought that said something else?

It’s not a brown recluse. The legs segments are too short.

I used to shoot spiders with my sister’s hairspray. It would kill them.

Nuke it from – oh nevermind, I get so sick of that joke.

Hard to tell from the picture, but I doubt that’s a recluse. Either way, just squash him. Spiders are household helpers, but they’re also just fucking bugs, part of nature’s disposable robot horde. If smacking one with a rolled-up magazine helps you forget the dozens of other ones living in your home, swat away.

You need limecat to defeat clock spider.

A) It’s not a brown recluse.
B) Why didn’t you just grab it with your hand? (Or with a paper towel if you don’t like touching them.)
3) I read somewhere that the average American eats eight spiders over the course of their lifetime, due to them crawling in your mouth when you’re asleep. So, now I think of that every time I see one.