I’m playing through the disorder campaign in Dawn of War: Winter Assault. There’s this gigantic pit you have to fill with blood for one of the objectives chaos.
That got me to thinking: how the hell do you fill a giant pit with blood? It’s going to congeal almost immediately; do you put huge heaters under it? Magically infuse it with anti-coagulants? Hire union demonic plumbers (probably teamsters) to recirculate it at top speed?
BS: So you don’t take your Khorne worship seriously?
VM: Look, of course I do. All me and my pulping hammer do all day is worship Khorne. He’s the best. Hooray frickin’ Khorne. When you’re planting soybeans one day and a guy with a skull for a head and two chainsaw axes walks out of your barn covered in blood you’re going to sign up for whatever he wants. I signed up for Khorne. I got stuck with Gristlewick and this lake of blood.
BS: You don’t sound entirely happy.
VM: Some lucky assholes on the other side of the planet got caught by the Perfumed Choir of the Supreme Tempter of Antioxus XI. They signed up for the Slaaneshi legions. Do you know how they’re probably gonna die?
BS: No.
VM: Too many orgasms. You know how I’m gonna die?
BS: No.
VM: Not enough blood left in my neck. You see my consternation.
If you don’t happen to have a supply of Heparin I’m led to believe that whisking blood will stop it coagulating. Granted this poses its own set of problems once you start having to deal with a lake of the stuff, stick a couple of paddle boats on it perhaps.
