Semantic SHOWDOWN: Desslock and chet v. Partlett and skedastic

The great semantic debate begins! I have selected teams with no input from any debater. Sorry, but if your name is here you are required to participate or your IP address will be revoked.

Team 1 is Desslock and chet.
Team 2 is Partlett and skedastic.

The question (courtesy of chet):

[SIZE=3]Iran responding to a veiled threat of military action by promising to become a “killing field”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Good or bad thing?[/SIZE]

Some rules for additional difficulty:

Avoid the following words and phrases: “reading comprehension”, “misrepresent”, “dishonest”, “insane” and “talking point”

No disagreeing with or contradicting a teammate.

You may both choose either “good” or “bad” as long as you disagree on what the words mean in this context.

Your dishonest misrepresentation of the average QT3er’s reading comprehension of talking points is insane.

If you are implying that I should have included “average” then you are probably correct. I’m hoping chet will start us off soon, he was just here.

Bad choice of topic, Mike. Here are some better options to bait your subjects.

“Every single story in the New York Times has a strong liberal bias.”
“Muslims are just misunderstood.”
“‘These people’ means what I meant for it to mean.”
“So what if I work for Valve?”

Then we can have a dogpile that will eventually peter out and leave two people posting at each other while everyone else just scans the comments for the occasional gratifying ‘zing’. Also, bonus points for how quickly DanMorris and Toddy join the thread!

Colon, closed parenthesis.

-Tom

One of the options should have been “whoever wins, we lose.” Really now.

It’s beginning to become clear that all 4 are either lily-livered, yellow-bellied or both.

What about sap suckin’?

I’ll debate you on sap suckin. I’ll take the pro side.

Sap suckin is great! The sap is really sweet, unless you get a bug in it, which can happen. I recommend checking for bugs BEFORE you start suckin. This will lower that tendency. Also, make sure that if you are suckin sap from a cedar that you don’t touch the bark itself, which is very bitter even if you just lick it. One thing I like to do is put the sap in a bottle first. Then you can suck away without risk of touching bark, swallowing a bug or anything else. I highly recommend sap suckin, and my forthcoming DIY book on the subject will help fill in the details.

Shit.

sh1t b0n3rz.

I thought this thread was “semantic SHODAN”

Sho’nuff!

That’s Shodan for the Jews?

You are gonna get sap stuck to your face! You sap face! It’s wrong because sap can eventually become amber, and Amber is the name of a girl I, personally, went to school with and you must want her to die! Cedar bark is among one of the greatest perils of sap suckin’, what about those people who suck sap that they are allergic to and who DIE? You can’t put sap in a bottle, it’s too viscous during many months of the year to provide on demand flavor quenching. Robert Sharp and people like him are only thinking of Maple Syrup when they talk about sap suckin’, and the simple fact is that most trees aren’t maple trees. Robert Sharp either wants us to suck second rate sap, or he wants to make all the trees the same. I think you know who else wanted to make all the trees the same.

If someone allergic to sap is stupid enough to lick on trees he deserves to die. What do you suggest, that we cut down all trees just because a few kids with down’s cant keep their toungues inside their mouths?

As for your claim that sucking sap gives hairy palms, there are several studies which shows that this is complete bullshit. IIRC there was a thread discussing this in this very forum a year or two back. And I have sucked sap regularily every spring since I was twelve or so, and while my palms require the occasional shave, they are not more hirsute than the palms of most of my friends, many of whom do not suck sap.

A whole thread about what a jackass I am! Guys, I’m touched. I’d like to thank the Academy, Derek Smart, Sokwoo Lee, and of course Gary Busey.

By the way, what do you mean by “thing” in “good or bad thing?” Are you insinuating something about the Belgians?

I’m not going to get into this debate with you again. You have humiliated yourself infront of countless manatees.

I was not saying that all trees supplied the wood used to build the death camps. I simply pointed out that everyone who made up the fence posts, guard towers, and bunkhouses was a tree. You cannot ignore the fact that, throughout history, trees, and the wood that they supply have been indispensable to methods of oppression.

There was a time when trees enhanced our culture, by helping us build ships, pianos, and violins. Sadly now all they are good for is strife, pain, and violence.

You a fucking moron? Trees still can be used to build ships, pianos, and violins. All their good for? What kind of horseshit you used to slinging around here?

Good work, Jack. You just put Flowers well in the lead, out of nowhere.

FACT: Modern ships are made of metal and fiberglass.

Argument:
Trees could still be used to build ships, but, as modern man has developed and changed, trees have stayed stuck in the past. The trees you see today behave in the same way as trees from the middle ages. They are completely oblivious to the changing circumstances, especially globalization. If trees would change, then yes, they wouldn’t be associated soley with axe handles and the baseball bats used in homosexual violences. Sadly, they will not change. Have you ever even talked to a tree? Do you know where they stand? Have you ever gotten a tree to change its position? I know you haven’t because they won’t listen to you. You want to be sensitive to their culture, when they are completely insensitive to our culture.

You say that sap is a good thing, well you know what? Sap is very sticky and if you get it on your hands then you will need to wash your hands with soap. Soap that could be being used to wash orphans. Orphans orphaned by trees.

Can anyone doubt the danger of a large number of trees allowed to congregate in one area? It is common knowledge that trees attempt to reproduce at a much higher rate than Americans, sometimes up to fifty-thousand times per year! I have irrefutable proof that trees have been connected to every major forest fire in the last five years. While one tree may be largely harmless, in large groups they give rise to such other undesirables as bear attacks, being chased by bears, and fights with bears. That’s right, I said it, forest communities in America harbor and give [i]support[i] to bears. Bears that want to eat your picnic lunch. Also; scorpions.

Conclusion:
I will take a stand and say that young trees should be uprooted if we can, and they should be taken for replanting and reeducation. If we want to stop the rising tide of pine scented carnage, we have to nip this one in the bud.

As long as it isn’t cotton pickin’.