Sex, Drugs & The Law

For all the those who disbelieve that the love conquests of the Guapo do not represent the legal lifestyle, here is a link to the exploits of the Sex, Drugs & Lawyer-man Attorney Inglimo . Here is the full opinion of the Wisconsin legal discipline board .

In short, the Amazing Attorney Inglimo on multiple occasions engaged in 3-ways with his male clients and their girlfriends, slept with the ex-wife of a husband he was representing in a divorce case (!), then slept with the ex-wife AND her girlfriend in a 3-way, took marijuana and cocaine with his clients, and on occasion, accepted sex as payment for legal services.

Amazingly, he didn’t get disbarred, but instead got 3 years suspension from the practice of law.

Who says Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll are dead?

If sex was dead then humanity is in trouble.

Your Honor, my client pleads… for more cock!

Who judges the judges? There aren’t many people above lawyers in the legal world, and it’s hard to prosecute one if all the prosecutors share the same bed!

“Orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged.”

            - Antonin Scalia, Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court

He just wants an invite.

w00t!

I can just see this guy at Crane, Poole & Schmidt.

Warning! Misinterpretation of comment incipient! Activate the “citation needed” fields!

Although the referee found that there had been a three-way sexual encounter involving L.K., his girlfriend and Attorney Inglimo, he concluded that there was no violation of SCR 20:1.8(k)(2) because there was no evidence that Attorney Inglimo and his client, L.K., had “sexual relations” as that term is defined in the rule. Specifically, there was no evidence that Attorney Inglimo and L.K. engaged in sexual intercourse or intentionally touched each other’s intimate parts.

'Cause that would be, you know, gay, which is grounds for disbarrment in Wisconsin apparently.

i mean, how technical did they get in these findings? How do they no there was no intimate part touching during this encounter?

“After extensive interviews with the client, his wife, and the attorney in question, the referee finds that because the client’s wife’s descending colon and vaginal wall seperated the penis of Mr. Ingolimo and his client’s penis during the DP, so he did not technical have sex with his client. Member remains in good standing with the bar.”

YOU NEVER MAKE THEM TOUCH!

So I guess Flowers will have more time to post here nowadays, huh?

I do, actually. But that’s not me. I have taken some time off since moving to Madison to work on comedy as a career. I hate the overwhelming amount of paperwork in the law. Also, men cry in front of me all the time and I am not allowed to tease them for it and I hate that. I have given so many inspirational speeches that I feel like the coach in an heartwarming football movie.

The provision of the rules that he did not violate comes from the fact that you have to touch the genitals of the other person, or they have to touch yours. So sitting across from each other and masturbating is permissible. On the other hand, getting a lapdance at your client’s place of business might not be. I don’t care enough to find out.

Clients do throw themselves at attorneys on occasion. I have had two or three truly foxy clients. But, it doesn’t really matter. Even if I wasn’t engaged, I still wouldn’t touch that shit with a ten foot pole. It’s not very romantic when you have read someone’s medical records. You know that they have genital warts, they know you know they have genital warts, and they are still hitting on you. It’s nice to feel attractive, though. Everyone likes to feel attractive. I am a compulsive hand-washer.

Kong, you almost made me spit up my lunch.

Well played.

This story explains why my mother never wanted me to become a lawyer. Apparently she knew something.

It also reminds me of an episode of “Two and a Half Men.” And you guys say you don’t understand the popularity of that show!

:-)