OK so a little back story. I am dating this girl, right? WAIT, IT GETS BETTER.
Anyway she is very pretty and is a student at the school where I teach. YES I AM WORTHLESS DEGENERATE but I do not teach at a junior high or a school for the mentally retarded, she is 32 and a very cool person.
Anyway, the school recently hired a new security guard. He’s…well, he’s definitely socially awkward. I have said hello to him several times and his unfailing response is a pregnant pause followed by a stilted “Hi.” It doesn’t seem hostile or annoyed, just odd. I have heard him speak other words but I don’t catch any hint of an accent.
A week or so ago, out of the blue he gave the girl I am seeing a card. Here are the important bits:
That’s kind of sweet, isn’t it? I mean busting that out essentially out of nowhere is odd, but pfft. Anyway, the inside:
Hrm. Ah well, can’t give a guy too hard a time for bad grammar, right? Although it’s kind of hard to secretly admire someone that you just want to be friends with. Mixed signals!
Welps, one week later he hands her this:
Yes, that is a picture of himself he cut out and glued to the front of the card. Also his head is hiding something, which is weird.
Edit: It is a color scan of his picture superimposed on the text, so I can’t peel it away, alas. And it is not his name, that much I can tell.
It gets “better:”
Hooooo momma. The other inside page is a rambling attempt at Hallmark card sentiment that he wrote, printed and also glued in the card. Then, presumably, he wrote that other stuff.
I have advised her that my gut instinct is he’s just horribly socially awkward and shy and harmless, but to try to avoid being alone with him and to also tell him in no uncertain terms that she is not interested. What do you guys think?