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Either my kids are dumb, I am lucky or (very unlikely) I rock the parenting thing, but my kids haven’t ever pulled any of that shit.

No painting redbutt-poultice on the walls, no making everything shiny with the baby oil, no cooking nice eats with flour, chocolate powder and whatever was left in the litterbox.

My sister got all of the above from her little angels.

Quite clearly your mind control program is superior.

Not even the toilet paper thing? My little guy avoided most of the common toddler tropes of destruction but even he fell for the lure of the toilet paper.

I shit thee not, not even teepee. His greatest current vice is talking nonsense all the time. How was school? turdifartiturd lel!

Oh god, the babbling. Mine never shuts up. He has been a really good little boy but damn. He needs a mute button.

We cured the potty mouth (not really) but the babbling and interrupting? 7 years into this and it’s worse than ever.

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-xtien

The sun was looking crazy in the cold air on the drive home, so I drove out of town a bit to get a clear shot of it.

I seriously cannot help but read this line with Humphrey Bogart’s voice in my brain. It’s automatic.

-xtien

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Blue Fried Rice, striking fear into Rebels everywhere.

Red Chicory…

Burgundy kebab.

Huh. Blue Donut.

Not exactly fear inspiring. :(

Blue Secret Aardvark Stir Fry

Tartan Cliff Bar

Uh…

Grey Foot Long Hotdog