So I guess 2016 claimed its biggest victim yet - America

So, I just killed my neighbor, cause he was kind of a dick this summer and screwed up the lawn between our houses.

The government shut down is like that movie “The Purge”, right?

If only those dang municipal governments wouldn’t keep paying cops…

Damn, obstructionist losers. The full White House statement on the shut down:

Senate Democrats own the Schumer Shutdown. Tonight, they put politics above our national security, military families, vulnerable children, and our country’s ability to serve all Americans. We will not negotiate the status of unlawful immigrants while Democrats hold our lawful citizens hostage over their reckless demands. This is the behavior of obstructionist losers, not legislators. When Democrats start paying our armed forces and first responders we will reopen negotiations on immigration reform. During this politically manufactured Schumer Shutdown, the President and his Administration will fight for and protect the American people.

The perfect anniversary for his inauguration. Earliest shutdown ever in a presidency, capped off by his party controlling the House, Senate, and White House.

That’s a procedural maneuver. After an unsuccessful cloture vote, only someone who previously voted against cloture can move for another cloture vote. It’s typically done by the majority leader, once there are already 40 nos.

So is it true that they didn’t even have all the GOP senators on board? If true, who were the holdouts?

Also, I heard that while the Republicans were making a big deal about including CHIP extension, the part they weren’t talking about is that they stuck poison pill stuff in there like repealing a bunch of taxes dedicated to Obamacare.

Surprise surprise.

2013

On this planet, we do a government shutdown every 10 years or so so everyone can let off some steam and run around in the streets screaming, “FESTIVAL FESTIVAL!”

Or was that “Festivus! Festivus!”?

Flake, Graham, Paul and Lee.

What is scary Jack Black lookin thing doing there in the background…

Many thousands of women (and men) will be marching today. This country has so many passionate, wonderful people in it.

We’re going to the family friendly one in Redondo Beach today so the girls can be part of it!

My son’s at the National Mall right now. I’m… lazy as #$%^, so I’m at home typing to you fine fellows and cheering him on.

If I’m understanding this correctly, it was Republicans in the House who wanted the shutdown.

Maybe they think this will help them in the election? Or maybe Paul Ryan just really hates children?

This is the GOP’s main problem going forward, catering to racists and xenophobes:

“No sir, they’re saying ‘BOO-URNS’”

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/954788467069870081

What the actual…he thinks they are marching in his honor?