That’s pretty cool (sincerely). You are honestly one of the very few people I know that Facebook has been a net positive for them. Mostly I see misery and then relief and a return to happiness when people finally cut the cord.
At one point Twiiter supposedly mislabeled me because all I do on Twitter is mostly follow some gaming industry stuff and actors to boost their following. Is not following. Installed on my phone. Oh and try to win contests too.
FB is friends and family and how I wrangle movie nights and stuff.
As an aggressively introverted old coot that seems like a perfectly reasonable and appropriate reply.
I don’t hate social media per se. I do appreciate it in times like these when it’s a nice way to check on family. However I do hate facebook as it is quite literally and directly driven by profit to create division.
If some philanthropist billionaire looking to cure the worlds ills needs a new challenge, creating a non profit driven basic facebook competitor with incredibly strict privacy would be of great benefit to the world.
Every so often I get reminded that Qt3 averages a good decade and a half older than me and is largely peopled by Nerds who came up in an era much crueler to geeky personalities than my own adolescence was, who were largely comforted by their Amigas and Commodore 64s, presumably whilst being relentlessly bullied and avoided by women.
I kid, but also, kind of not? There’s a great deal of that sort of insular, almost wary-toward-others mentality here that feels very evocative of Nerds of a Certain Age here sometimes, coupled with an almost libertarian streak of “leave me be with my Steam library and my $20,000 home theater setup.” It can be difficult to have what feel like productive discussions about socializing, as my lived experience feels very unusual and often even actively unpleasant to many others here :)
But I’m also trapped in an endless virtual meeting right now and feeling quite catty, and still sort of, if not kidding around, at least lightly poking fun, at a generalized mentality I’ve felt out the borders and shape of through dozens of comments and posts I’ve seen and vaguely remembered over the course of years.
Obviously I think you all (conservatives excepted, of course) are lovely people that I love engaging with here, and even allow myself to occasionally believe my contributions and presence are tolerated and even, more rarely, enjoyed! :)
We were uncool before it was cool.
Have I mentioned recently that Margaret Cho follows me on Twitter? :)
Yeah, more seriously, I’ve seen many times a sort of aggressive defensiveness toward nerddom/nerd culture, because folks had to genuinely and tragically suffer to love their hobbies, so there’s a certain understandable upset at seeing others not only avoid that suffering, but indeed receive praise and love for doing exactly the same stuff you did that got your head stuck in the toilet back in the bad old days.
I generally don’t care for “gatekeeping” style behavior (e.g., new Trekkers or roleplayers or PC building enthusiasts aren’t allowed in because they didn’t endure what I endured!), but it’s a pretty understandable reaction, to say the least. Just one that can/should be got past.
We’re now pretty far afield of the thread, but it’s something I think about a fair bit.
It’s still semi on topic as it explores a bit of the reasons behind our individual perceptions of social media.
Oddly while there is certainly defensive gatekeeping about geek culture I tend to see it more from those a bit younger than myself. The NES/ SNES era more than the TRS-80/C64 era. Though that could easily just be my bias.
I never really used Facebook the way it was supposed to be used, so it was easier for me. I don’t post my random thoughts, or pictures of what I’m doing, or group shots. I don’t understand why people would care about those things. Why would anyone care that I ate a good burrito? Or that I visited some fancy place? Or went to a show or party? I was there, I experienced the moment, I don’t need to flex on people, or brag, or do whatever the hell it is sharing this crap accomplishes.
I also have a hard time forming connections with other humans so maybe I’m just mentally ill.
Yeah, see, if you were in my circle of Moderately-to-Very-Close Contacts*, I’d definitely care about you doing those things and celebrate your joy and want to share in it with you if you felt comfortable sharing it. I mean there’s certainly the vicarious pleasure of seeing delicious food or beautiful landscapes or thrilling activities. But there’s also the sort of empathic jolt of happiness on behalf of another being excited about their interests and passions. And the oftentimes illuminating experience of having people with interests and passions different than your own share more deeply about those things alongside the pictures – what is this gorgeous thing you’re eating, and where did you get it, and how was it, and what more do you know about how it’s made and what it means?
Which isn’t to say that plenty of people aren’t engaged in flexing/bragging behavior, or just other forms of generic attention-seeking. But just because the most “famous” social media personas are oftentimes empty influencers romping around the world to take product placement shots of their current sponsor in front of an unspoiled waterfall no human has ever bathed in before doesn’t mean that’s the sole motivation someone might have for inviting others to share in their life.
* No offense that you’re currently not. Hop on Slack and play Codenames with me for a year and I bet you’ll join those halcyon ranks!
Yeah, this is me. I just don’t feel that urge at all, and don’t really understand people who have it.
Here’s a question: have you ever shown your family/friends fotos of a trip you’ve been on? (even back in the “good old days” of slide projectors in the living room) and if so: why?
For some people Facebook is still basically just that. A platform to share some experiences with friends, which was one of its early strengths, though the platform has moved away from that, its still there if you want to use it like that.
I’m pretty much with Armando on this issue. The thing is I’ve basically culled all “noise” acquaintances out of my timeline - ie those who pretty much exclusively post links to third party stuff and no own material. Not sure where I read this, but someone mentioned they “reduced” their friends by 500 people?? Wow! I don’t even have that many friends and 2/3s of those either don’t post or I’ve muted.
So the stuff I DO see is all benevolent stuff: pics of vacations, the odd cat pics and yes some linked videos or news articles about movies or something like that. Not everything is super interesting, but when I hear talk of FB here and in other threads I have zero clue what you guys are talking about! (& I am in my fourties, so do remember nerd things being uncool and a time before the internet game everyone a megaphone)
One consideration might be that I don’t live in a highly politicized society like the US?
Never have. Wouldn’t subject anyone to that. I take pictures so that I can look at them.
I don’t even take pictures. Of anything. Except food to post in the food thread.
If I want to remember something, I remember it. I don’t bore people with pictures.
Friends, not really. Family, yes, but usually only when they ask. I’m not completely averse to the idea of sharing experiences with friends (as opposed to having them with friends, which obviously I do and enjoy), but what I don’t get is the broadcast nature of Twitter/Facebook et al. I realise it’s possible to a greater or lesser degree to target posts on those, but generally you’re posting to everyone on your contact list, which is just not something I would ever do. I have distinct groups of friends and family, often with minimal if any overlap, and I’d only share some things with some of those groups. That’s also basically why I’m on a niche forum and not on Twitter or even Reddit.
All the time. It’s part of sharing your life, and is a hell of a lot better than being trapped in someone life and being handed 5 lb photo albums or worse… some sort of home video. FB is largely voluntary so you only engage further than that if someone chooses to engage.
I am not a fan of FB. It forces videos on me I don’t want, makes assumptions and adds ads, manipulates their customers by selecting what they see and calling it some sort of algorithm… lot’s of issues, many of them ethically and morally questionable, but the reason people use it is not a big mystery.
Okay, but. . .
I mean, not even to call out the latter as ridiculous. I love Rich Stories dearly and gobble them up when they’re shared. You’ve lead a fascinating and, shall we say, instructive life! One I’m glad you occasionally take the time to share out with us (along with other great Qt3 yarn-spinners like Giles H, Gary W, or the late Christien M). Which isn’t to say that they’re for everyone, and I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t share my love for Rich Stories for opting to scroll past, which, of course, is eminently easy for them to do. Much the same as it is on FB.
And yes, yes, pictures and stories are different forms of expression. Some people express themselves better one way or the other, and some social media is geared toward enabling some forms of expression in particular. FWIW, I wish to high heaven there was more photographic evidence of some of your earlier years, man ;-)
I mean, you control who you’re Facebook friends with, and they control, to a lesser or greater degree, what they consume on their timelines each day.
My FB list is cultivated in such a way that it encompasses the group of humans I’m comfortable sharing some portions of my life with.
Now, it just so happens, because I’m an insane extrovert, that said group numbers just shy of 1,000 souls. But that’s an entirely variable number. And of those, not everyone’s beholden by anything at all to reply, since, as Nesrie aptly points out. . .
I dunno, it often feels like people here assume social media must solely consist of selfish monsters aggressively foisting pointless minutiae upon the entirety of the world’s population, a fate they only evade by blocking the Twitterface on a router level, lest it sneak into their homes at night and deposit pictures of people’s screaming spawn upon their pillow while they rest.
It is a community, same as any other, and one you cultivate yourself. If the community you’ve gathered around yourself is awful, it’s not the tool that’s at at fault* – fill your life with better people.
* Except insofar as the FB algo specifically can genuinely help create conflict and division, as noted in a recently linked article. Again, I won’t defend FB specifically, as many of their implementations leave much to be desired and their leadership are universally fuckheads, but the core concepts of social media shouldn’t feel so alien to a bunch of barely evolved tribal apes, IMO
Sure, but what I mean is that I have lots of different clusters of friends. I don’t talk about boardgames with my work friends and I don’t talk about work with my boardgaming friends.I don’t see why I should do either on social media rather than in WhatsApp groups or emails.
I mean I don’t talk about my wildly successful career as an e-girl on FB. I share those stories on appropriate venues, like https://www.CamTopia.xxx/forums/general/ArmandosSexyLife, instead.
More seriously, Qt3 is an appropriate venue for sharing about games you’ve played, movies you’ve watched, books you’ve read, politicians you’ve dreamed of shitting on the future corpses of, etc. Those are its agreed-upon conversational bounds, and within them, we all share more or less freely out into the void, “inflicting” our opinions and thoughts and animated gifs and dinner photos on the board as a whole day in and day out.
Places like FB, Instagram, Twitter, etc., all have different parameters for conversation, and within them, just as within subforums on Qt3, groups will coalesce with even more specific parameters. The goofy shit I post about “OL BIG LEG” on “Aether Realm Fans - Tiny Metal Hate Crew” would be insensible to my entire f-list at large, but. . . it’s posted to the X00 people in that group who know what the hell I’m on about. And who will tag in vocalist Jake, ol Big Leg himself, to see what delightful memery I’ve wrought this time.
No, my main complaint is how it allows, and even encourages, people towards radicalization and how that racist uncle now can spew bile to many happy ‘you got that’ type comments, and how malignant groups such as the Alt Right use this to push disaffected persons into communities that reinforce anti social/ racist behaviors that in previous decades would have been discouraged.
And how the Algorithm uses this to drive engagement, knowingly pushing people towards these groups, as it increases their profits by getting more people ‘engaged’. And destroying democracy and civil society is proving very profitable for them.