Songs that would not get airtime today

Books, comics, TV, music
1

An example:

What songs can you think of? On the basis of this hit, and it was, they were called the new Beatles. :)

Ooh, my little pretty one, my pretty one
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona
Ooh, you make my motor run, my motor run
Got it coming off o’ the line, Sharona

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona

Come a little closer, huh, a-will ya, huh?
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona
Keeping it a mystery, it gets to me
Running down the length of my thigh, Sharona

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona

When you gonna give to me, a gift to me
Is it just a matter of time, Sharona?
Is it d-d-destiny, d-destiny
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?

Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up, for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona

Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona
Ooooooo-ohhh, my Sharona

3

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl
You’re much too young girl

With all the charms of a woman
You’ve kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe you’re old enough
To give me love
And now it hurts to know the truth

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl
You’re much too young girl

Beneath your perfume and your make-up
You’re just a baby in disguise
And though you know that it’s wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes

Young girl, get out my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl
You’re much too young girl

So hurry home to your mama
I’m sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
'Cause I’m afraid we’ll go too far

Young girl, get out my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl
You’re much too young girl

4

Not sure if this counts since it probably wouldn’t have received airplay outside of the larger album, but…

Ooh, babe
Don’t leave me now
Don’t say it’s the end of the road
Remember the flowers I sent

I need you, babe
To put through the shredder
In front of my friends
Ooh, babe

Don’t leave me now
How could you go?
When you know how I need you
To beat to a pulp on a Saturday night
Ooh, babe, don’t leave me now

How can you treat me this way?
Running away
Ooh, babe
Why are you running away?
Ooh, babe

5

Speaking of the Beatles, Run For Your Life probably wouldn’t fly.

Well, I’d rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or I won’t know where I am

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand, little girl
Catch you with another man
That’s the end, little girl

6

More from the Beatles:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxL87Tfy7XY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkR7u_sOtHI
" You come on like a dream, peaches and cream
Lips like strawberry wine
You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful and you’re mine

You’re all ribbons and curls, ooh, what a girl
Eyes that sparkle and shine
You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful and you’re mine

You’re my baby, you’re my pet
We fell in love on the night we met
You touched my hand, my heart went pop
Ooh, when we kissed I could not stop

You walked out of my dreams and into my arms
Now you’re my angel divine
You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful and you’re mine

You’re my baby, you’re my pet
We fell in love on the night we met
You touched my hand, my heart went pop
Ooh, when we kissed I could not stop

You walked out of my dreams, and into my car
Now you’re my angel divine
You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful, and you’re mine
You’re sixteen, so beautiful, and you’re mine
You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful, and you’re mine
All mine, all mine, all mine
All mine, all mine, all mine"

Not to be undone, the Stones had something to say
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGRnokznTF0
" Under my thumb
The girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
The girl who once pushed me around

It’s down to me
The difference in the clothes she wears
Down to me, the change has come
She’s under my thumb

And ain’t it the truth babe?

Under my thumb
It’s a squirmin’ dog who’s just had her day
Under my thumb
A girl who has just changed her ways

It’s down to me
Yes it is
The way she does just what she’s told down to me
The change has come
She’s under my thumb
Ah, ah, say it’s alright

Under my thumb
It’s a Siamese cat of a girl
Under my thumb
She’s the sweetest, hmmm, pet in the world

It’s down to me
The way she talks when she’s spoken to
Down to me, the change has come
She’s under my thumb
Ah, take it easy babe
Yeah

It’s down to me, oh yeah
The way she talks when she’s spoken to
Down to me, the change has come
She’s under my thumb
Yeah, it feels alright

Under my thumb
Her eyes are just kept to herself
Under my thumb, well I
I can still look at someone else

It’s down to me, oh that’s what I said
The way she talks when she’s spoken to
Down to me, the change has come
She’s under my thumb
Say, it’s alright

Say it’s all
Say it’s all

Take it easy babe
Take it easy babe
Feels alright
Take it, take it easy babe"

Let’s go back to the Father of R’nR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=od8nCgpumso

" I got the lumps in my throat
When I saw her coming down the aisle
I gets the wiggles in my knees
When she looked at me and sweetly smiled

There she is again standing over by the record machine
Oooh, she’s looking like a model on the cover of a magazine
Why she’s too cute to be a minute over seventeen

Meanwhile, I was thinking
She’s in the mood
No need to break it
I got the chance
I oughtta take it
She can dance
We can make it
Come on Queenie
Let’s shake it

Go, go, go, Little Queenie
Go, go, go, Little Queenie
Go, go, go, Little Queenie

Won’t ya tell me who the queen’s
Standing over by the record machine
Why she’s looking like a model
On the cover of a magazine
Yeah she’s too cute to be a minute over seventeen

Meanwhile, I was still thinkin’
If it’s a slow song, we’ll omit it
If it’s a rocker, that’ll get it
If it’s good, she’ll admit it
Come on Queenie, lets get with it

Go, go, go, Little Queenie
Go, go, go, Little Queenie
Go, go, go, Little Queenie"

And in another vein…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTLHxpUQ_B8
" Last night I saw Lester Maddox on a TV show
With some smart a** New York Jew
And the Jew laughed at Lester Maddox
And the audience laughed at Lester Maddox too
Well he may be a fool but he’s our fool
If they think they’re better than him they’re wrong
So I went to the park and I took some paper along
And that’s where I made this song

We talk real funny down here
We drink too much and we laugh too loud
We’re too dumb to make it in no Northern town
And we’re keepin’ the n*****s down

We got no necked oilmen from Texas
And good ol’ boys from Tennessee
And colleges men from LSU
Went in dumb, come out dumb too
Hustlin’ ‘round Atlanta in their alligator shoes
Gettin’ drunk every weekend at the barbecues
And they’re keepin’ the n*****s down

We are rednecks, we’re rednecks
We don’t know our a**
From a hole in the ground
We’re rednecks, we’re rednecks
And we’re keeping the n*****s down

Now your northern n*****'s a negro
You see he’s got his dignity
Down here we’re too ignorant to realize
That the North has set the n***** free

Yes he’s free to be put in a cage
In Harlem in New York City
And he’s free to be put in a cage
On the South Side of Chicago
And the West Side
And he’s free to be put in a cage
In Hough in Cleveland
And he’s free to be put in a cage
In East St. Louis
And he’s free to be put in a cage
In Fillmore in San Francisco
And he’s free to be put in a cage
In Roxbury in Boston
They’re gatherin’ ‘em up from miles around
Keepin’ the n*****s down

We’re rednecks, we’re rednecks
We don’t know our a**
From a hole in the ground
We’re rednecks, we’re rednecks
We’re keeping the ns down
We are keeping the ns down"

7

Still one of my favorite Stone songs:

I can see that you’re fifteen years old
No I don’t want your I.D.

Bet your mama don’t know you scream like that
I bet your mother don’t know you can spit like that.

8

A bit of Danny Elfman and Oingo Boingo that just jumps right into it. Not sure if it got airtime when released, but what the hey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2LQMElLoLs

I, I, I love little girls
They make me feel so good
I love, little girls
They make me feel so bad

When they’re around
They make me feel
Like I’m the only guy in town

I love, little girls
They make me feel so good

They don’t care if I’m a one-way mirror
They’re not frightened by my cold exterior

They don’t, ask me questions
They don’t, want to scold me
They don’t, look for answers
They just, want to hold me

Isn’t this fun?
Isn’t this what life’s all about?
Isn’t this a dream come true?
Isn’t this a nightmare too?

Oh, oh, oh I love little girls
They make me feel so good
I love, little girls
They make me feel so, bad

When they’re around
They make me feel
Like I’m the only guy in town

I love, little girls
They make me feel so, good

They don’t care about my inclinations…

9

Our local alternative station, which was for kids that didn’t want to be lumped in with the safe boring packages pop but were too nervous about hearing meathead and or butt rock, and maybe we’d save the planet through our rock, had a nightly feature called “Pump It Or Dump It”. A brand new song would face off the previous night’s winner, and listeners would call in to cast votes on what song they preferred. It was a way to sample new music.

Sublime’s “Date Rape” won so many times they had to break the rules and retire it.

Its lyrics aren’t quite beyond the pale. But they’re right around the edge of the pale. If you don’t know it, imagine a jaunty ska beat.

Let me tell you about a girl I know
Had a drink about a hour ago
Sitting in a corner by herself, in a bar in downtown hell

She heard a noise and she looked through the door
And saw a man she’d never seen before
Light skin, light blue eyes, a double-chin and a plastic smile
Well, her heart raced as he walked in the door
And took an empty seat next to her at the bar
“My brand new car is parked right outside
How’d ya like to go for a ride?”
And she said “Wait a minute I have to think”
He said, “That’s fine. May I please buy you a drink?”
One drink turned into three or four and they left and got into his car
And they drove away someplace real far

“Now babe the time has come
How’d ya like to have a little fun?”
And she said “if we could only please be on our way, I will not run”

That’s when things got out of control
She didn’t want to, he had his way
She said, “let’s go”
He said, “no way!”
“Come on babe, it’s your lucky day
Shut your mouth, we’re gonna do it my way
Come on baby, don’t be afraid
If it wasn’t for date rape, I’d never get laid”

He finished up and he started the car
He turned around and drove back to the bar
He said “Now baby, don’t be sad. In my opinion you weren’t half-bad”
She picked up a rock, threw it at the car, hit him in the head, now he’s got a big scar
Come on, party people, won’t you listen to me
Date rape stylee!

The next day she went to her drawer, look up her local attorney at law
Went to the phone and filed the police report and then she took the guy’s ass to court
Well, the day he stood in front of the judge he screamed, “She lies, that little slut!”
The judge knew that he was full of shit and he gave him twenty five years
And now his eyes are filléd with tears
One night in jail it was getting late
He was butt-raped by a large inmate, and he screamed
But the guards paid no attention to his cries

That’s when things got out of control
The moral of the date rape story, it does not pay to be drunk and horny
But that’s the way it had to be
They locked him up and threw away the key
Well, I can’t take pity on men of his kind
Even though he now takes it in the behind

But that’s the way it had to be
They locked him up and threw away the key
Well, I can’t take pity on men of his kind
Even though he now takes it in the behind
Date rape!

She didn’t want to, she didn’t want to, she didn’t want to, she didn’t want to
Take it!

So in one way it was kinda sorta progressive, certainly showing sympathy for the rape victim, but I can’t help but think that if the song was popular nowadays, the villain wouldn’t face quite the same comeuppance. Prison rape isn’t cool anymore either!

Another song that was popular around the same time was Paul Westerberg’s “Dyslexic Heart”. That’s not really bad by today’s standards. But I think supporters of people with learning disabilities would not want to hear how a guy who has trouble learning lessons about love compares it with dyslexia. Certainly dyslexia shouldn’t be confused with nearsightedness.

You shoot me glances and they’re so hard to read
I misconstrue what you mean
Slip me a napkin
and now that’s a start
Is this your name or a doctor’s eye chart?

I try and comprehend you but I’ve got a dyslexic heart
I ain’t dyin to offend you
I got a dyslexic heart

Thanks for the book
On my table to study
This a library or a bar?
Between the covers
I judge you as ready
Half angel, half tart

I try and comprehend you but I’ve got a dyslexic heart
I ain’t dyin to offend you
I got a dyslexic heart

Do I read you correctly,
You need me directly?
Help me with this part.
Do I date you?
Do I hate you?
Do I got a dyslexic heart?

You keep swaying
What are you saying?
Think about staying
Are you just playing, makin’ passes?
Well my heart could use some glasses

Dear heart, dear heart, dear heart, Aw Aw Aww

Are you staying?
What are you selling?
Are you swayin?
Are you just playing making passes?
Well my heart could use some glasses

10

Guess I’ll need to put 40oz to Freedom on for another spin, gonna have that stuck in my head now.

12

As far as The Knack goes, this one makes My Sharona sound tame…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc4l5EpCMEc

She’s your adolescent dream,
Schoolboy stuff, a sticky sweet romance.
And she makes you want to scream,
Wishing you could get inside her pants.
So, you fantasize away.
And while you’re squeezing her, you thought you heard her saying…

“Good girls don’t,
Good girls don’t,
Good girls don’t, but I do.”

So, you call her on the phone
To talk about the teachers that you hate.
And she says she’s all alone,
And her parents won’t be coming home til late.
There’s a ringing in your brain,
Cause you could’ve sworn you though you heard her saying…

“Good girls don’t,
Good girls don’t,
Good girls don’t, but I do.”

And it’s a teenage sadness
Everyone has got to taste.
An in-between age madness
That you know you can’t erase
Til she’s sitting on your face.

You’re alone with her at last,
And you’re waiting til you think the time is right.
Cause you’ve heard she’s pretty fast.
And you’re hoping that she’ll give you some tonight.
So, you start to make your play,
Cause you could’ve sworn you thought you heard her saying…

“Good girls don’t,
Good girls don’t,
Good girls don’t, but I do.”

And it’s a teenage sadness
Everyone has got to taste.
An in-between age madness
That you know you can’t erase
Til she’s sitting on your face.

Good girls don’t,
Good girls don’t,
Good girls don’t, but I do…

13

/thread

https://youtu.be/oi7ds7Lmmrk

14

There aren’t very many Randy Newman songs that could get airtime. At least until he started writing for Disney.

15

The first thing that popped into my head was The Doors song The End.

16

True, dat

17

Well then you may as well add Pink Floyd’s “One of These Days”. Not that it’s a very good choice for radio play anyway.

18

I remember my grandmother would just rage whenever she heard “Short People” on the radio, and that was a fairly tame Randy Newman song. Of course she was very very short.

19

I guess she never got to the verse that goes:

Short people are just the same as you and I
(Fools such as I)
All men are brothers until the day they die
(It’s a wonderful world)

20

Short People is pretty innocuous. But a lot of people just don’t “get” the guy. You wanna offend? Let’s offend everyone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0TvfqmWf4M

21

While it’s undeniably catchy, this racially-charged Rolling Stones hit is probably in the running for top 10 most offensive songs ever, with its frequent references to slavery and subjugation wrapped around fantasies of white supremacy.

Gold Coast slave ship bound for cotton fields
Sold in the market down in New Orleans
Scarred old slaver knows he’s doin’ all right
Hear him whip the women just around midnight
Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good
Brown Sugar, just like a young girl should
Drums beatin’ cold, English blood runs hot
Lady of the house wonderin’ when it’s gonna stop
House boy knows that he’s doin’ all right
You should have heard him just around midnight
Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good
Brown Sugar, just like a young girl should
Brown Sugar, how come you dance so good
Brown Sugar, just like a black girl should
I bet your mama was a Cajun Queen,
And all her boyfriends were sweet sixteen
I’m no school boy but I know what I like
You should have heard them just around midnight
Brown Sugar, how come you taste so good
Brown Sugar, just like a black girl should
I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, wooo
How come you, how come you dance so good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, wooo
Just like a, just like a black girl should
Yeah, yeah, yeah, wooo

22

Oh, man that’s a great Randy Newman song. Probably was never destined to be a radio hit.