Speak to us of YoYos


I think we can all agree that fidget spinners are pretty lame. But YoYos are timeless. They’re the second oldest toy in the world, in fact.* Way more fun. Way more interesting. Modern yoyos also take actual skill to use and per the video, you can put on a real show.

And there is a glut of pretty awesome inexpensive chinese clone yoyos on the market these days, like every other toy, so a savings is you.

The first thing you need to know is responsive versus unresponsive yoyos.

  • Responsive is old timey style. You spin the yoyo, snap your hand, and it will bind and come back to you.

  • Unresponsive is the modern style. You spin the yoyo, and it will hang and spin forever, but getting it to come back requires learning a (relatively) simple bind trick. This is preferred so that you can do more tricks while the yoyo is spinning.

They’re also cool to look at:


So. If you want to try this out, and who wouldn’t because it’s freakin’ awesome, I have some inexpensive Amazon recommendations to start with:

I ended up giving this model to a poor kid in India, but for 12 bucks you can’t beat the price. It is a great aluminum yoyo. Yes it is a clone, but that price! There is also a green and black version if you prefer other colors. It is unresponsive, but you should start with unresponsive anyways.

There are a handful of things you should know with your first yoyo, and this video covers it well:

If you like that yoyo, get heavily into it and want more choices, check out this 2017 buyer’s guide. I personally recommend the bimetal yoyos, that have steel on the outer edges. A really nice feel.

* guess what the oldest toy in the world is?

What are your other hobbies?

Is it a dildo?


Ding-dong! We have a wiener!!!


Rough year to be a Wein-anything, tbh.


For children? You’re one sick motherfucker.


I didn’t know yoyos could look this awesome.

I may be giving some of these out for Christmas


You like that tribal stuff eh? Lots of really neat designs out there. Some of the plastic models can be pretty cool, too.


The funniest thing is reading the Amazon reviews. So many 1 star reviews from people going “THIS YOYO IS BROKEN IT DOES NOT COME BACK UP WHEN I PULL” even though it says in the text these yoyos are unresponsive, you need to learn the (pretty easy, but not ridiculously obvious) bind trick, etc.

As I collect and explore the world of modern yoyos, I’ve been giving out a bunch of yoyos to kids I randomly meet in the world, and they are all unresponsive. So I figure I am kind of griefing them, but you know, it’s for their own good.


Oldest toy in the world is a stick or rock and imagination.


(goes back to his 30+ year habit of playing video games)


“All I had was an empty Quaker oats container.” - actual Mom quote


You guys really suck at this game



You could literally have more fun playing with things you find laying around on the ground.


The National Toy Hall of Fame awarded “oldest toy” to the stick.

No I don’t!


I think the correct answer is “doll”. Stick isn’t really … a created thing by humans. Doll is.

p.s. you guys suck at this game


In 2004, archaeologists dug up a 4,000-year-old stone doll head in the ruins of a village on the Italian island of Pantelleria. That the head wasn’t found in a ceremonial ground made it different than most ancient human figures and suggests that it was probably a toy. It had curly hair and was buried with miniature kitchenware.

God damn 4000 year old heteronormative sonsabitches! Or maybe it was a boy toy. Maybe I’m the heteronormative sonuvabitch. Damn it!


I have a Yomega Fireball from the 90s that I quite like.


Aw yeah you need to upgrayedd* to some of this Yomega Prodigy action

* Two d’s for a double dose of this yoyo pimpin’


Speaking of Yo-Yo’s, if you haven’t seen this you should. This guy went on local Wisconsin morning shows and convinced them he was a Yo-Yo master. He is not. They did this as a prank to show just how easy it is to get on TV with no skill whatsoever.

As an aside, this guy is involved in the Found Footage Festival and also played the pharmacy guy on Better Call Saul.


We had a mini yoyo craze when I was in 7th grade. Our science teacher put us onto it. I wonder if he was paid by Duncan, or something.

I had a Duncan butterfly yoyo and learned a few tricks. Walk the dog, cat’s cradle, that kinda thing. I had a thing where I would shoot the yoyo out into the air and it would seem to hover there for a second before falling. I called it “the helicopter.” Probably all in my imagination.


What? It’s got Lego branding. It’s safe!


Gotta watch it with those corners.