Star Citizen - Chris Roberts, lots of spaceship porn, lots of promises

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve stopped playing No Man’s Sky and Elite Dangerous because of inaccurate hygiene behavior.

What the actual fuck?

That’s not real… Please tell me that’s not real.

Under the AI section ;)

Well, as long as the game has only one scene, well done!

Then they can enjoy this wonderful plushie!

You’ve obviously never played a forum game with me, because if you had then you’d realize that I never lie.

Everytime I think they can’t possibly aim lower, I’m proven wrong.

It’s as if they’re paying an intern to troll everyone at this point.

That would be an improvement compared to the current management.

That’s only because you know you’ll get an automatic refund.
;-)

I honestly cannot tell if that’s real or you just made all that up to be funny.

Satire is dead.

I assumed it was just an over the top parody until I saw the actual link.

The hygiene behavior was updated and is now complete, with new animations added for the toilet and shower cubicle. This was rolled out, with bug fixing underway.

Best damn number 2 simulator ever!!! (after Death Stranding, I suppose)

Work also began on a new gunner behavior. Currently, NPCs find and use ship turrets. The next step will allow them to rush to turrets if their ship is under attack.

NPCs find and use ship turrets! I suppose they’ll call their A* implementation “path meshing” or something, just to make it sound super tech and hard. And I guess they need a different algorithm if the NPCs need to rush instead of walking? “Ship under attack” can’t be a simple flag or something, can it? Next, “flag meshing”!

I’ll tell you - seeing all this as a software developer only makes the whole thing more frustrating. Sigh.

I keep re-reading these “stories” and I’m wondering what kinds of idiots read these updates and still hang on to hope. The kind that pay $500 for JPEG ships, I’m thinking.

I guess a significant part might be due to Dunning-Kruger. Just like all the Steam reviews complaining about framerates in games and saying they’re “not well optimized” as if they knew what that actually means.

But I chose to be a software developer, so I guess I chose my own hell, as we all must do. It’s not pleasant but hey, it’s what I have. ;)

“Why this is hell, nor am I out of it.”

So toilets, eh? I wonder if they will implement ship flushing of fecal matter? Just think – one ship could position itself near another ship and flush its fecal matter onto the other ship. This would sort of be ship-to-ship teabagging.

I wonder if I could increase my ship’s amount of fecal matter by having the kitchen serve chili laced with jalapenos? Realism!

He should really spun around and turn the engine into CIG’s version of the Metaverse; it seems he has a leg ahead on the concept of pointless drudgery already.

Then the ship’s AI should tell the pooper about what diseases they have and what supplements that they need. Thus begins the search for vitamins.

Warning. Vitamins are not in the game yet. But you can purchase vitamin NFTs.

Just picture the intro to Rebel Space Outlaw. Except instead of dumping trash on the bogey at her six, it’s a wave of poo.