Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Episode VIII

I love that you bring this up. That’s one of my favorite songs. I like it so much I did a whole podcast about it.

“Yo, check it out man, I got Black Caesar back at the crib, man. Y’all wanna go check that out?”
“That’s the idea we could have rolled with from the beginning!”

It’s hilarious to hear Ice Cube say, “Fuck Hollywood, man!” Considering the fact that he has made a career in Hollywood movies, and his son is now doing so as well. I think that he is responsible for the change he wanted to see, at least partly, but it’s great to see him in the video with Public Enemy saying that, and see where Hollywood is now.

Thank you. Cool to go back and listen to that song because of a Star Wars thread!

-xtien

“You know how I feel about giving these movies my money.”

No problem!

How I might have ended the new Star Wars Trilogy - no spoilers, since this cannot happen anymore:

Green field. Slight breeze. Hills & a small Temple seen in background. Three figures standing, clad in robes. Hands gesturing. Arguing.

Luke says to Kylo Ren: “We can end this now, here, peacefully.”
Kylo says: There is no peace under that Order. Kylo points to Luke and says: “You will always be a threat - You!, AND the Jedi”.
Rey is standing opposite Kylo, and watches. Her eyes survey the situation.
Luke says “And you will always remind me of my greatest failure - a Jedi cannot rule the galaxy!”.

Kylo draws his Lightsaber, and grabs Luke, holding him hostage.
Kylo says to Rey “Do not follow me, I will return, WITH an army; from this point - neither of you are safe.”

Instantly, in a single motion, and without hesitation, Rey draws her Lightsaber, and plunges it forward…through Kylo… AND Luke in front of him! They both fall to the floor.

Kylo screams with pain. A sharp “No!”. and he begins recanting his mistakes, spluttering:
"I… tried to…live. The expectations. cough
Luke, with a thousand-yard stare, says: “Let go. I forgive you”.
Rey says “I’m sorry; I did what I had to do”.
Luke tries to look up at Rey, holds out his non-robot hand towards her face, and dies; a serene smile adorns his face.
Kylo’s expression of intense fear drops from his face, as Rey comforts him in his final moments. “What more could you have done”? Rey quietly expresses, not knowing quite what she had meant, or to whom she was referring. Kylo dies.

(or, if it is the Mortal Kombat edition, Rey reaches down while Kylo is crawling on the floor, draws a lightsaber down his back, and rips out his spine, holding it up in the air. FATALITY! Roargh!!!)

Some sort of Chinese erhu/violin music plays in the background. The End. Or something.

In her actions, Rey learns to TRULY let go of attachments, sense the situation, and has acted in a way that resolves the conflict with minimal losses. Plus there is drama and stuff.

iaido

Cool story, bro.

Post Credits scene is Leia-Poppins flying through space and landing in front of the Jedi Temple, from which Darth Maul walks out. Leia Poppins says: “I’ve dealt with them-all before.” and slyly winks to the camera.

Leia Poppins, having unfurled her umbrella chronicles, then exclaims, in CGI:
"It’s TIME…to JEDI!

- the electric guitar rock music of Resident Evil 2 - scenario B credits plays.

Coming soon…Episode 10 - Time to Jedi.

Yeah, man. Unrelated, what’s your drug of choice and where can I get some?

Jump-Rope. You can find it everywhere. Down Quality Street.

Star Wars - Rey & L3-37 TV Spot!

Rey is flying the Millennium Falcon, when she accidentally pushes a button that she has never seen before…

A female robotic voice is heard:" Oi, blimey love, watch it, I’m in here!"

Rey replies: “L3-37! I’ve heard stories.
(Solo: A Star Wars Story - In Cinemas Now)
Did you fancy Lando Calrissian!?”

L3-37 replies: “Calculations indicate that you have run a course of the Bechdell Test in less than 12 par-secs.”

Rey states: “Par-secs is a unit of distance - not time!”

L3-37 replies: “Yea, well we’ve still got a lot of distance to cover - So what do you do, then, Rey?”

Rey says: “I am The Last Jedi (Now available on Disney Blu-Ray) - Hang on, I sense that in the future there will be a great disturbance.”

L3-37 says: “My data indicates that, if we keep going at this trajectory, there will be a greater than 43% chance of running in to angry men.”

Rey asks excitedly: “Will it be Kylo!? Or Finn!? Or could it even be the ghost of Luke Skywalker!?”

L3-37 replies: “Testing Bechdell… Bechdell Test. Failed!”

News Just In!

Star Wars Cast speak of appalling disrespect shown by Mickey Mouse, who, it was alleged, in the Music & Tea Rooms, used Force, but failed to break Records over China.

This made my day.

Poppinses, Panses Ma-Rey Sueses, Disneys, whatevs.

fly2

Everyone please re-rank all Star Wars movies to include this hypothetical one by @preciousgollum1

Sad to say, I’d have to rank it somewhere in the middle.

Well, its terrible, so just ahead of the prequels seems appropriate.

Thanks. The sad thing about that hypothetical post-credits scene (or ‘posterior piece’) is that you can almost imagine Disney taking it seriously.

Disney Tribute to Carrier Fisher:

"Rest in Peace - Disney Princess Leia™.

While she may no longer be with us, and was a constant reminder of the early sexism of Star Wars Movies, Carrie can now indefinitely star in any future Star Wars Movie, as a state of the art ‘Computer Generated Female Icon’ (CGFI), to be 100% controlled by Graphics Technicians

  • it is what we think Carrie would have wanted"

79f2fd3c-99c8-4139-914a-3422fc21feac

(Whispers - “What do you mean ‘That’s not her’???”)

“We at Disney Star Wars - A Star Wars Story would like to take this time to assure you that we have almost figured out the philosophical ramifications of Schrodinger’s Fisher, in time for the next Movie”

The best movie analysis person on YouTube jumps in on Star Wars. Don’t worry. This isn’t the normal bloviating about how good/bad the movie is, or how Disney raped your childhood or whatever. It’s a long form examination of the Empire/First Order.

She’s good (great video; liked the Leni R discussion), but I am really waiting for Red Letter Media and Mr. Plinkett to weigh in, myself.

Red Letter Media already covered Star Wars when they asked the question: Was Rian Johnson trolling Star Wars?

The last insight they had about ‘Rian’ sounding ‘like a girl’‘s name’, is on point, because I too thought we were getting a Star Wars movie directed by a woman, for once.

Regarding “Admiral Holdo” and the generally conflicted viewpoints people hold (eh get it hold), there are times where, apart from the character being Battlestar Galactica’'s ‘Admiral Cain but for children’, the idea of the film spending a long time on slowing the plot makes me think that the original character name was ‘Admiral Holdover’ (like, a way to slow the plot) until they shortened it.

Hey, that reminds me, I thought the female characters were really good in Battlestar Galactica (2003) Laura Roslin was brilliant. Kendra Shaw. Diana Beers. Starbuck. Dualla etc etc. Initially hated Ellen Tigh, but then her character became SO COOL! Ellen was initially designed to be a dislikable character.

Hmmm, it is as if Star Wars writers struggle to write female characters… and something to do with ‘role models’. It is as if movie companies pat themselves on the back for the strides that TV made a while ago.

Oooh. Remember that episode of Battlestar Galactica called - Black Market!? (I.expect Detective Lee Adama).
Yea, people HATE that episode. Canto Bight is like that but put into a feature film by Disney.

But, somehow in 15 years, the argument has gone from drama appreciation, to making political points about films that play very safely within the bounds of their established IP (i.e the point that the video above mentions - ‘cuddly fascism’)

Now, remember, people. Star Wars is on my cereal box when I eat gluten free cornflakes and shreddies. I didn’t choose to have it there, so I hope the advertising subsidy makes that box cheaper for me.

In other words, The Last Jedi was a major part of the hype-cycle. Major hype.

Would anybody like to answer the question: Did The Last Jedi live up to the hype?

Not really. RLM did a review, but The Plinkett treatment will go beyond fandom issues into script, editing, casting, art direction, plot points, performances, etc. An in-depth dissection. Like this did: