Star Wars VIII: Spoiler Time

I just got back from watching it. Thoughts:

I loved the resistance ship warping through Snoke’s ship.

I also hated it, because of course that’s how you destroy huge ships, and yet they didn’t do that to the Death Star, or any other ship previously, because reasons.

Finn’s character was paper thin in this movie. In The Force Awakens he actually had meaningful dialog and a somewhat interesting story. He’s just along for the ride here.

Poe’s character was an idiot. I was under the impression that Poe’s character was not supposed to be an idiot.

I’m 100% certain that Rose was just a Star Wars fangirl that wandered onto the set with a thermal detonator and threatened to blow the place up if she wasn’t given a role.

I enjoyed having Luke in the movie. It was nice to see his character again, and while it may not have been the greatest ending; they could have done much worse. I felt his fight with Kylo Ren was appropriate.

I feared for the worst at the beginning of the movie when Poe began the whole “holding for General Hux” scene. It didn’t devolve into total stupidity, but like Ragnarok, it was too jokey for my liking.

Snoke should have put up more of a fight. He’s played as some ancient Sith master with vast powers unknown, and then dies instantly because he’s a total idiot.

I liked Rey more in this movie than TFA. She’s a good choice for this role and I look forward to seeing how her character plays out. I also did not dislike their decision to have her parents be “nobodies” (assuming that’s what it ends up being). Who says our heroes have to come from some Jedi lineage?

I also thought Kylo Ren was better in this movie than TFA. He’s way less of a petulant teenager now. His character just seems very weak, though. This is our main villain, and he struggles to dispatch a handful of Snoke’s guards? He should be force pushing them into oblivion and slicing them limb from limb, and instead he’s relying on Rey to help get him out of a jam? I hated the prequels, but at least Darth Maul and Anakin/Vader were genuinely imposing villains. Hopefully his powers grow between now and whenever the next movie is released.

I expected Leia to die, obviously. I’m not sure how they’re going to handle that now, but I sure hope it’s tasteful. I felt she did a fantastic job in this movie, but the space-floating scene was poorly handled. It almost felt unfair to have her die, which everyone was expecting, only to have her do that and come back. Through all the movies she never exhibited force powers to that extent, so having it show up like that seemed bizarre.

The code breaker character was just odd. He seemed like a plot device more than anything. I don’t even understand how he knew about the plan to secretly evacuate the resistance ship, and since Finn and Rose didn’t either I assume, their reactions in that scene didn’t make much sense.

The cinematography and direction were well done, I thought. The scene with Ren and Skywalker getting ready to do battle with the AT-ATs in the background along with the gorgeous sunset was one of the most beautiful scenes in the entire series in my opinion. Why the salt flat was red under the crust I’m not sure, but I don’t really think it was necessary for the guy to taste it and tell the audience that it was salt. That seemed a tad ham-handed.

The music was Star Warsy.

Overall Rankings

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Episode IV: A New Hope
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Rogue One
Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Oh boy. Now look what you’ve started.

Mine:

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Episode IV: A New Hope
Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Rogue One
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
.
.
.
.
.
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Episode II: Attack of the Clones

This is like a perfect summary of the entire thread. Well done!

Ooh, I have to get in on this too:

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Episode IV: A New Hope
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Rogue One
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

I just want to say @Penny_Dreadful’s list is good, and @draxen and @Rock8man’s lists are on crack.

I haven’t seen The Last Jedi, and I hate the cliffhanger at the end of Empire, so it gets hit for that.

  1. KoToR
  2. Return of the Jedi
  3. A New Hope
  4. The Force Awakens
  5. Empire Strikes Back

Everything else is equally terrible and I regret seeing it.

Star Wars
Empire Strikes Back
Force Awakens
Return of the Jedi
.
.
.
.
.
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull
.
The Last Jedi
.
.
.
.
Battle Beyond the Stars

I think those are all of them.

EDIT: Dammit, I just typed out pretty much the exact goddamn joke as @mono, complete with a Battle Beyond the Stars reference. I shoulda gotten here an hour earlier…

-Tom

Wut? TFA before RoTJ?

My thoughts too. The Ewoks were annoying, and recycling the Death Star was bad. Recycling the entire first movie is even worse.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
Rogue One
Episode IV: A New Hope
Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

East coast FTW!

I didn’t like Ewoks or Death Star Jr, and I did love Overpowered-Rey, Finn, and Poe. It’s a toss-up.

How much better would the movie have been if Kylo Ren had pulled the light saber and given it to Rey and they had faced Snoke down together, with Snoke actually kicking their ass for most of the fight? Then not only would we have had an awesome lightsaber and force power battle (which should be a prerequisite for Star Wars movies that feature Jedi), but it would have brought Ren and Rey closer together, which would have made their conflict that much more meaningful and interesting.

I assume in future movies the writers will make them love interests and we’ll eventually wind up with some tragic ending where one kills the other and then falls on their lightsaber in grief.

@Penny_Dreadful’s list is the only one that really feels correct.

Empire
New Hope
Jedi
Sith
Rogue One
Last Jedi
Force Awakens
Phantom
Clones

I realise I am strange for liking Sith. I’ve only seen it the once and I’ve probably forgotten lots of awfulness

The ending location sucked p bad. Lava planet with lots of platform jumping? In a nutshell:

It was easily the most watchable of the prequels, though. No Jar-Jar, no midichlorians, and no I-Hate-Sand dialog banality. There was however Darth Sidious, Mace Windu, General Grievous, Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Vader kicking ass.

At least this is how I choose to remember it.

I agree 100% I recently caught the movie on TV and I had forgotten just how crappy that ending was. Instead of an epic lightsaber battle we, got a basic jump platform video game and not even a particularly good one. The movie itself wasn’t terrible as far as the prequels go but that ending pretty much ruined the movie for me.

I would still put the prequels over the Disney efforts. They rate higher than TFA because they weren’t uninspired retreads (Lucas was actually telling a story that was compelling at its heart), and TLJ is just so god-awful that even Jar-Jar and immaculate Force conception and Jake Loyd’s horrific acting are unable to outstrip its terribleness.

I think this is the most important point. Over coffee at work, a friend of mine and I described the prequels as fascinating story skeleton wrapped in filmmaking incompetence, while the named-episode Disney movies to date are technically competent but devoid of much in the way of storytelling.

I have higher hopes, actually, for the off-the-main-trilogy releases. Rogue One was a movie in the Star Wars universe rather than a Star Wars movie, and judged on those grounds I think it’s good.