Stupid Achievements

From the achievement list for the upcoming Turok:

  1. Grab Bag
    Kill at least 1 creature, 1 enemy, 1 teammate, and yourself in the same round of a public match. 10 points

Great. That’s just what we need: give people an incentive to team-kill. Note to devs: people on Live are already asshats. They don’t need your encouragement.

Also, Shadowrun had a viral achievement that was unlocked by teabagging someone with said achievement. Just great! Make everyone go around teabagging every corpse. You know, just in case.

Not that anyone played/will play these games, but that’s beside the point. I know achievement points are meaningless and all, but I just don’t think people should be rewarded for ruining other people’s games and/or being a dick. Any other examples?

1000 gamerscore points in two and a half minutes.

Avatar apparently has stupid-easy ones. You get 1000 points for basically spamming the B-button for a few minutes.

EDIT: GAH, beaten by 8 whole minutes!

Some other candidates:

Earth Defense Force 2017 - Uninteresting, and it doesn’t award you the lower skill level ones as well if you complete it at a higher difficulty. You can beat the game without getting a single achievement if you decide to increase or decrease the difficulty at some point along the way.

Dead Rising - The indoorsman/outdoorsman achievements are pretty much begging you to just let the game sit there and…do nothing. Exciting.

Saints Row - You’re never really so desperate for money that you need to turn to the loan shark, so getting the Jumped The Shark achievement winds up being an exercise in just standing there and repeatedly taking out a loan and immediately paying it off until you hit the trigger.

Bladestorm: You get 150 points for starting and saving a game.

CoD4: Play Veteran for mobs of achievements! Ok!..Wait a minute…[TV station…Ferris Wheel…] EFF YOO GAME!!!

Blue Dragon had some pretty dull achievements. The level 99 push was well…even I surprised myself by bothering. Oh and being a jRPG, there are easilly missable stuff that is impossible to earn again over the 50+ hr quest that ties into certain achievements. Awesome Japan!!

The Darkness glitched my achievements(beat game on Hard and got nothing for it).

C&C3 won’t give cumulative achievements for beating various difficulties(Hard only gives hard and not normal/easy ones as well…)

Ooh here’s another one: Transformers. “Transform and roll out”, achieved by starting a game and pressing Y.

Simspon’s gives you one for pushing start…but it’s kinda cute and labelled as the world’s easiest achievement. Think it’s merely 2 pts as well.

Oh and I should mention a classic…RR6: No crash achievement. (150 events without touching a thing). Still up there as easilly one of the most difficult achievements ever.

Why gamerscore is meaningless:

Zuma 24h achievement: Awarded for playing the game for 24 hours. (10 points)

Madden 06 Get a First Down achievement: Gain a first down in any offline game mode. (20 points)

Uhm, who cares about gamer points or overall gamer score?

I could see being interested in a particular game’s achievements. (Whoa, my buddy unlocked everything in halo3) But who really cares if someone has a high gamerscore if it can be inflated by playing my little pony?

I don’t think anybody really cares that much. It’s just fun to point and laugh.

Beautiful Katamari has two hidden achievements for playing the game (aka leaving your 360 on) for 50 and 100 hours. These achievements are worth 40 and 80 gamerpoints, respectively.

This is bad achievement design. (and, actually, this type of achievement is specifically discouraged by MS, so blame the developers for these)

Agreed, I hate accumulated game time achievements.

You know, somewhere out there, there are a group of gamers dedicating to getting the highest gamerscores possible, and they have a message board. And they trade tips on which games have the achievements that are easiest to get lots of, like the Avatar game above. And then they go out and buy those games to rack up their gamerscores.

And they have their own BBS forum.

After years of time on the 'net, I just take for granted that this is true, without even looking it up.

It seems like 100k club would have been a more appropriate name, given their priorities.

I knew it.

… is actually pretty useful as reference as well as having lots of message boards with people figuring out how to most easily get the greatest # of gamerscore pts.

I don’t mind stupid easy achievements in general. Heck, Avatar will probably do some extra business at rental because of their decision to give away 1000 gamerscore (if it is as easy as that video makes it seem).

I really mind ones that encourage you to play the game in less fun ways as opposed to experimenting with craziness (which can be good).

Guitar Hero 3: play a bunch of matches online without a controller, play the game without the sound on

Bonus Guitar Hero 3: win a large # of consecutive matches. hey, dumbasses, the matchmaking algorithm always tries to make it so that you are matched with people of your own skill level!

Project Sylpheed: huge # of hidden achievements that CANNOT be gotten on replay, so your only choice is to spoil the entire campaign for yourself if you want to get the bulk of achievements.

Sylpheed’s achievements seem like standard Square-Enix stupidity to me. Great game, chocobo breeding achievements.

I was really proud to finally get the “Pacifist” achievement for Geometry Wars. That one felt like I’d achieved something.

And then I remembered I was just playing video games and that there were 2 hours of my life I’d never get back.