Swift Boat Payback

It’s just too bad Kerry didn’t do this during the election. But he exacted his pound of flesh, at least.

Video link here:


It was pretty awesome to watch. Kerry was absolutely surgical.

Why do you guys celebrate stupid political backbiting? I honestly don’t get it. If Cheyney took some opportunity to harangue somebody that screwed him over you guys would say it was classless and you would be right.

Curious to see if he’ll be confirmed or not.

That’s because you’re Ralph Wiggum. You don’t “get” anything, ever. That’s just how your character is written.

If Cheyney took some opportunity to harangue somebody that screwed him over you guys would say it was classless and you would be right.
Well, if a bunch of Kerry’s friends had put together several hundred thousand dollars to successfully convince the American public that Dyck Cheyney was a pederast, and then Dyck got to confront one of them over it…

At least Kerry didn’t curse.

I ate too much plastic candy.


Don’t you see, Spoofy? Everybody’s doing it! If we don’t do it, as bad as it is, well, then… You just ask Sam Fox what happens! You just ask him!

Seriously though, you need to stop defending people just because we are attacking them. Sometimes you are like the Tim Partlett of American domestic politics.

The only thing I would add to that Senate meeting is that I might perhaps open it with Kerry quoting the Oliver Stone/John Milius major motion picture effort entitled, “Conan: The Barbarian,” and then at the end everyone throws their hands up and Obama shouts the word, “Revenge!”


It is extraordinarily rare in life, and especially in politics, for someone to be handed the opportunity to–with no repercussions–revenge themselves upon someone who has done them a tremendous harm. Could Kerry have “taken the high road” and not raked him over the coals? Sure, and we’d have probably either never noticed, or counted him the better man for doing so.

Or, the Republicans could have trotted the episode out as a) evidence that Kerry has no spine, and b) made claims that Kerry was afraid to attack because there was probably some truth to the innuendo.

The only way Kerry could “win” in this was to do exactly what he did. He didn’t make it personal, he just used what he had to make a point, and to promote his political agenda. And if the dish was served very, VERY cold, one can at least expect that he enjoyed serving it.

Also, Kerry didn’t catch up with him privately or anything, this was a confirmation hearing. Maybe in addition to how good it probably felt to swing back at the guy, he really doesn’t think scumbag cronies should be given cushy ambassadorships. Could it be?

Hey I didn’t say anything about defending the other guy! That guy is probably a jerk. I just think you guys tend to place way too much confidence in your leaders and you tend to totally give them a pass when they do things that you would excoriate your enemies for.

Also I think you should probably not compare me to Tim Partlett or he might cry.

I thought that’s exactly what scumbag cronies were for? I mean why the hell do we even have an ambassador to Belgium in the first place? For cronies!

There’s a really good subtext underneath this story that’s more interesting than whether or not Kerry got his revenge.

The guy’s being appointed to be an amabassador. Belgium, yes, but still an ambassador, and the job of an abassador is to be able to work with diplomacy, “The patriotic art of lying for one’s country” (Bierce, "The Devil’s Dictionary), or “The art of saying ‘nice doggie’ until you can find a rock” (Will Rogers).

Fox set himself up by saying that he agreed that “The truth in public life is important.” Maybe it’s true, but it’s absolutely not what you want from an ambassador. Now he may have shown he can “play the dirty game” by sponsoring Swift Boat Veterans despite his expressed distaste for 527s, but he’s shown that he can trap himself with his lies – which is almost worse than telling the truth.

So it’s probably for the best that he not get confirmed.

I’ll give a different answer to this. It’s sooooooooooooo much more interesting to me than if some floozy redneck shaved her head or some vapid blonde died.

Yeah, but you want scumbag cronies who don’t get caught being scumbag cronies, instead making it look as if they’re fine and some other guy over yonder is the scumbag.

(This is why I believe GWB has been so successful in politics: He managed to convince the overwhelming majority of his opponents that he’s a nincompoop barely capable of tying his own shoelaces and that Karl Rove is really the “genius” behind his meteoric rise to power. In fact, I think he even convinced most of his supporters that Karl Rove is the genius.)

If I could be appointed an ambassador to somewhere, I’d love it to be Belgium. All the comforts of Europe without any of the hassles. Hot women. Good beer. Absolutely no controversy. And small, so you don’t have to spend your time worrying about upsetting an important strategic partner.

Or maybe you could get your fucking definitions from non-comedians.

This makes no sense.

He probably meant to say satirists.

I wonder how a satirist would define “fucking”?

The continuation of conversation by other means?