Taxi1010 - The Art of Non-Escalating Verbal Self Defense

So a couple of months ago I was late for something and grabbed a quick cab ride. The driver was a very effeminate, mustachioed older fellow who made some odd remarks about how hostile women passengers are to him…So I told him about an old acquaintance of mine whom I’d defuse when she was mad. He just lit up, way beyond what the idle story deserved, and when I got out he handed me his business card, which was just a URL…

His website is an endless warren of crazy. Seriously, just click some links.

Holy cow. My favorite part so far is the “for kids!” section. It’s just as dense and impenetrable as the rest of the site, but now it’s got weird MSpaint drawings too!

Oh wow, the example insults and suggested comebacks section.

Insult: “My ass is big, but yours just has to dominate Holland.”
Comeback: —It’s really criminal to treat your body as a friend

Insult: “You know the difference between an asshole and a rectum? You can put your arm around an asshole.” [Putting his arm around your shoulders]
Comeback: —You’re angry at your mother for not feeding you — That’s what everyone’s angry at.

Insult: XYZ — eXamine Your Zipper!
Comeback: —Hold everything! … I have mixed feelings coming here today.

It’s like Monkey Island insult fighting from another dimension.

http://www.taxi1010.com/resource/NameCalling.htm

Holy shit, all of this.

Insult: “Le’ poo poo on you Andee. Big globs of poo poo for you you. Mmmm. Poo poo. You like poo poo. Taxi1010!!! Poo poo! Woo hoo!”
Comeback: —Just get a scoop.

Uh…

My god, it’s full of time cube.