Tell me about Baltimore

My brother’s bachelor party is coming up and we have decided to go to Baltimore for a weekend. He’s gone there before and really likes it and it doesn’t involve flying, so that’s a plus.

I need to gather information from people in the know. Where should we stay? What should we do? I figure on staying two nights (Friday, Saturday) and I’d like to hit the following high points:

  • a nice dinner somewhere
  • Some cool stuff to do during the day
  • Typical bachelor party debauchery type shenanigans

I know there are some qt3ers in Baltimore, so help me out. For starters: I need a hotel. Somewhere that’s pretty central, nice but not too pricey.

Go see the Homicide plaque.

Also, get crabs. No, not that kind…

I recall the Lexington Market being awesome, but it’s been a while since I’ve been there, so I’ll defer to the locals.

Crabs, definitely. I vote for Obrycki’s. Don’t waste your time on anything smaller than the largest they have. With a couple pitchers of beer this is a serious investment of time and also some of the best fun I have ever had with good friends.

I don’t know about bachelor party stuff but I love Baltimore. My friend had his bachelor party there and I don’t know what they did other than candle pin bowling, but I do know they had an incredibly fun time.


-A nice dinner somewhere. What kind of dinner? Fogo de Chao is absolutely amazing (there is meat, meat, and meat), and if you like Indian food, you should go to Mughal Gardens. Absolutely delicious.

-Cool stuff to do during the day. Do you like museums? Apparently Baltimore has good museums. I do personally like the Visionary Arts Museum. Other cool stuff. Um. There’s an aquarium?

-Typical bachelor party debauchery type shenanigans I can’t help you with.

I dunno, you can go to Fogo de Chao anywhere. It’d be neat to find somewhere special to Baltimore, no?

Here’s an article with some ideas:

…how have we gotten four responses so far and nobody’s mentioned an Orioles game? C’mon, people! Beer-fueled bachelor shenanigan starter at its finest.


Because some of us know that baseball is boring.

Inner Harbor, soft-shell crabs. If you’re getting them from somewhere well-lit with clean floors, you’re doing it wrong.

Not necessarily; the Rusty Scupper is pretty damn delicious.

The recommendation of my friends is a place called Phillips, though.

Not all of us are destined for LAN bachelor parties, dear.

I think I’ve eaten there once. The name alone gives it cred.

But yeah, the Inner Harbor has all of Baltimore’s cool. The rest of the place is the compost bin of the eastern seaboard. It is where civilization goes to die.

More importantly, how have we gotten this far and no one has mentioned The Wire?

Hey, I mentioned Homicide, its spiritual (and technical) predecessor!

I disagree. Fell’s Point is cool and nice. You can take a water taxi there; that’s fun.

I find the Inner Harbor kinda like one giant outdoor mall. It’s all major brand name stores you see at any shopping mall. Nothing to get too excited about. It’s picturesque, and coming from a city that screwed itself by building highways on its waterfront, I am pleased for Baltimore. But you don’t get at the soul of the city–which you can certainly do without wandering into Hamsterdam.

Not getting at the soul of the city is not a bad thing. The soul of Baltimore is like that of Ted Bundy mixed with an asylum full of crackheads.

Ugh, then why would you even bother to visit if you think so little of it?

I mostly agree, but Hampden is a really cool place, and Fell’s Point is also pretty nice, especially if you like bars/pubs.

Orpheus and the Ottobar are both good places to go if you like their type of music / event, but on reflection, I think that Hampden is a really worthwhile place to go and just hang out, maybe have food at some low-key place you’d never normally eat.

Also, if you want to hang out, we should! I’m often un-busy except when I’m busy. :)

I used to live in Northern Virginia, had a roommate whose kids were up in Baltimore. The whole place just filled me with this sense of contempt - how can people be so complacent to let their city get so filthy? Whatever happened to civic pride?

But there are good areas of Baltimore - Fell’s Point’s one, the Inner Harbor, anywhere you get businesses actively trying to make the area healthy. Venture out past that, though, and you drop right off the slope of the societal bell curve.

Ignore Mightynute. Someone who thinks the wasteland of NOVA is something good and the Inner Harbor is cool doesn’t know jack about cities.

For bachelor party shenanigans Fells Point is good for bar hopping and dancing, though the area is a bit frat boy-ish. Max’s has an incredible selection of beers and The Cat’s Eye often has good Irish music. If you want strip clubs then “the block” is the place to go. The Hustler Club is probably the nicest place there but that’s not really something I know much about.

I also highly recommend the Brewer’s Art, a brewpub that specializes in Belgian beer and food. You can save a few bucks by eating in the bar area (which is two floors) where you can order burgers and such. You can stroll down to Red Maple to dance and pay too much for drinks afterwards, or up to Club Charles and possibly sight John Waters or Mink Stole.

Hampden is a cool section to wander around, filled with coffee shops and cool little shops specializing in chocolate, shoes, and hipster stuff. Some decent bars there too, like Golden West and Rocket to Venus.

Oh yeah, and the Orioles. Campden Yards is one of the most beautiful baseball parks. The aquarium is also wonderful.