Which reminds me to answer this.
So my Preethi brand Indian Mixer-Grinder is fuckin magical. It’s ludicrously powerful, has two blending cups and a bunch of blades and shit, and wasn’t very pricy at all. On the other hand, it has exactly zero safety features. Press switch, blades move, no questions asked.
So I had made myself some chicken tikka masala. And as I put my stick blender into the pot to blitz it smooth (gf hates to find onion or tomato pieces in her food) before adding the chicken, I realized my stick blender was broken.
Curry’s barely below boiling hot, it’s already like 8PM, and gf is hungry and cranky. So am I.
So I slop it all into the big cup of the Preethi. The lid just fits on with a thin cheap rubber ring to stop most leaks. But it’s just push on/pull off. Not exactly the tightest seal.
I recognize this is stupid. I recognize it’s phenomenally stupid. So I toss it in the fridge for five minutes to cool, wrap a towel completely around it, and then push the lid down with my full body weight while turning the switch. Surely that’ll be enough!
Of course, it is not enough. A rising torrent of boiling hot curry, half liquefied, comes swirling up the sides of the mixer-grinder, forces the lid partially off, spraying the towel and quickly me with a jet of pure lava. Shrieking, i fall back, barely managing to flip the switch off, but not before the lid just comes rocketing off as a tornado of curry hell swirls up, skyward toward my vaulted ceiling. Doesn’t quite make it there, so it settles for lazily spiraling outward to coat every fucking surface within 8 feet instead.
Chef pro tip: turmeric-laced curry stains carpet like a motherfucker (I was doing the blending on the gigantic island between my kitchen and living room areas. Never had something spray 3 feet clear across it before).