Mordrak
4101
Chief Security Officer? Aren’t they supposed to look intimidating, perhaps with an air of wisdom and gravitas?
It shouldn’t really matter. At some point I may dig up the links, but I saw some test data that led me to conclude vehicle weight doesn’t affect stopping distance all that much for passenger vehicles.
More mass increases inertia so it requires more effort to stop. But more mass also increases the friction between the tire and the road surface, requiring less effort to stop. The two factors more or less cancel out.
Mordrak
4103
Is a lighter car more likely to spin out in a sudden stop?
Raife
4104
This is the part where you get the position, then find out that they are doing something monstrous. You dig a little deeper, and suddenly your identity is hijacked and none of your credit cards work and you are being chased by black SUV’s. You are rescued, barely, by another former employee who has gone underground and wants to expose the entire nefarious operation, but needs your help to do it.
On the upside, you’ll have access to hand lasers and prototype body armor. Good luck!
Eilonwy
4105
Hey, hey. I can pull off a really good glare while wearing a newsie cap, Mordrak. Give me some credit.
And Raife, I can only hope that when such a situation does happen that former employee is hot, male, and single and I get to yell things like ‘They hack into computers and cause this chaos!’ and ‘Hack the planet!’
Oh and ‘Too many secrets.’
Don’t forget ‘Whoa’ and ‘I know kung fu.’
Better stock up on Xena tapes and Hot Pockets.
-xtien
Griddle
4111
I’m not lying when I say I just made an audible snort noise at that, damn your eyes…
WarrenM
4112
I know.
I think that line actually caused me to yell “What the FUCK?” at the TV. God damn it.
Once you get to be chief of security don’t ever go on an assignment to deal with an oil monster. You’ll end up getting killed off and doing softcore porn instead. Sure eventually you’ll get small parts in things like Dexter and CSI but you’ll age so incredibly poorly that it won’t matter.
Took my old Del Sol into the dealership for some work today and was stuck waiting. There I was thumbing through my copy of The Pirate Primer when the old German guy sitting next to me said, “Oh, that must be an old book!” I explained the pages were artificially aged and he went on to tell me about an old book of his. Over time, as we chatted, I found out that he was an engineer that worked for Reynold’s Metals (yes, the Reynold’s Wrap company was based in here Richmond before it went under) and was in charge of, or helped supervise, renovating plants all over the world.
I sat there and listened in awe to his stories about Russia, China, Nigeria and other places he’d been and what he’d done. It was awesome even if I didn’t quite get everything because of his thick accent. We talked about my work too, which wasn’t at all as exciting to me, but he seemed interested.
The mechanic eventually showed up and told him his car was ready. But before he left he shared this joke with me. A German engineer telling a joke involving a German engineer. I don’t know if I could do it justice without his accent but here goes:
Back in the 50’s nobody took Japanese products seriously. They were shoddy and poorly designed. The big Japanese companies decided to improve their engineering and to focus in particular on designing high quality cars. Even the President of Japan got into the act and he contacted none other than the famous German auto engineer Ferdinand Porsche for advice. He and his cabinet flew all the way to Germany for a summit with the great man.
“Sir, we need above all things a name for our first line of improved cars. Something people will see and want to buy. You did such a good job with the Volkswagen’s name perhaps you could help us too?”
“Ja, Ja. Zis I could do. When do you need zis name by?”
“Immediately! We leave tomorrow. We must have it by the morning, Dr. Porsche!”
“Dat zoon?”
rimshot
Acid
4115
Well, I’m a cyborg for a week. I have a trial neurostim implanted, with an external control box (no showers…).
So far so good. It’s only been a few hours, but the pain in my legs is at an all-time low. There is, however, a constant sense of tingling, as if my legs are wrapped in a static filled blanket fresh out of the dryer.
It’s something to get used to. I can turn it off any time I want (and deal with the pain), or just deal.
I, for one, love it. But the reason they do a trial first is in case someone doesn’t. I think I’ll go ahead and get the permanent implant–I haven’t felt this good in years.
Well done, Acid. I’m uploading you some more cyber-modules.
JonRowe
4117
Just got a call. The “part” they needed to fix our heat is not available. So they will be able to fix it tomorrow… first thing.
Night #2 with no heat.
Jojo
4118
That’s awesome, freaky and exciting Acid! Hope it all goes well.
WarrenM
4119
Great news, Acid! Nothing worse than living with pain.
I really, really wanted Abilio Carvalho’s phone number the other day.
Going back to Konstanz from Sweden, the Swiss Air flight to Zürich was delayed by an hour, and having started late, that meant that the plane set down at about 10.50 pm. Getting to the luggage retrieval, I notice that the last train where I’m sure I’ll get home was at 11.18. At that point it was 11 sharp, and according to the information screens the luggage was to arrive in 8 minutes.
However, they hadn’t counted on the Swedish women’s national ice hockey team being on the flight, meaning the luggage got delayed, and when it did arrive, there were about 20 huge ice hockey bags :(
Needless to say, I missed my train. Being foolhardy to the extreme, of course, I jumped on a Zürich S-Bahn train in the general direction and via Winterthur managed to end up in Weinfelden, quite close to my destination. Of course, at that point it was 1.20 am, all the trains were gone, it was -5 and not a soul to be seen at the train station.
This place, but frozen:
http://www.chriguseisenbahnseiten.ch/weinf2.jpg
You can just make out the place where I ended up spending the night, off to the left, where there were glass waiting cabins with intermittent heating. It was too cold to sleep, but at least I could play my DS without shivering. A mere four hours later I could finally continue on home.
