4881

…only to find that he thinks he’s Joe Rogan?

4882

My roommate and I discussed how we were each going to start writing jokes for the other (He Rogan and I Mencia) and they would get into an epic comedy dual.

One of the salvos I concocted was.

“The first time I watched fear factor I was confused that you were talking so much, I thought you were a contestant.”

another

“5 words. You killed the man show”

4883

Jacksonville and St. Augustine are in SOUTH Florida? What country is Orlando in, then?

4884

North Cuba.

4885

hahahahahahahahahaha

4886

the only thing worse than getting a barf bug is getting one when you’re not home. exploded all night at my parents’ house. now I don’t even have the energy to drive home. sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

4887

Saw a nice woman with sexy glasses in the train yesterday, thought, hey I want to marry her. Then I thought, oops, I am already married … forget her. Reminded me of the story a judge once told me. Adulterers have a pattern for their prey, when they cheat on their spouse, usually the woman is of the same type (hair, size, style…). Well, I can confirm that. That nice woman with sexy glasses looked almost like my wife (except the sexy glasses)… I leave the train and go home, very philosophical. Met my wife at home, the kids.

Door bell rang, and there she was : nice woman with sexy glasses. And her husband. And our landlord. Since we are moving soon, this young couple is probably moving into our appartment… well, I showed the young woman with sexy glasses all rooms (including the bedroom). Well, that’s what I wanted, I guess, show her the bedroom, when I first saw her in the train…

4888

Buy some sexy glasses for your wife and you’ll be good to go :)

4889

I work at a law school. This weekend is our “prom.” I am going to this prom with someone that I work with and have found very attractive for quite some time. It will be our first date. So I’m going on a first-date with someone from work to a work-related event. Something is telling me that this is not a great decision.

4890

Whatever you do, don’t talk about work or anybody you know from work, or anything work related. If the other person steers the conversation that way, change the subject.

4891

I recommend making a lot of very general small talk about the date rape epidemic and how easy it is to get date rape drugs. Deny all personal knowledge of the topic, just attribute it all to something you read on the internet. Make a big show out of going to get your date drinks frequently, even if they are nonalcoholic drinks.

She’ll either leave early or you’ll get lucky.

4892

Will there be any lesbians at this prom?

4893

I’m going to be at a table with faculty and administration - not talking about work is going to be nearly impossible.

There will be, in fact, at least two pairs of lesbians. At least!

4894

This isn’t a date, or a prom. It sounds horrible already.

4895

:-) good advice, thanks!

4896

Believe me, it’s a prom. However, I’m just at the staff/teacher table instead of being one of the kids. Which is weird, because I’m the same age as the kids this time around. The people at our table are good folk that I would call friends and people I’d feel comfortable bullshitting with (and they have no direct authority over me or her), but avoiding conversations about school stuff is going to be impossible.

I only have to be at the table for the actual dinner/ceremony. The rest of the night is typical prom shit, except unlike high school prom there will be booze.

4897

Found a used copy of Brütal Legend for $18. Looks like the first week or so of my bachelorhood just got booked!

4898

Save yourself a LOT of time and buy the DLC with the eye of the occulus (sp?). Save you a good 10 hours if you’re a completionist :)

4899

just found out my fahter-in-law has stage 4 terminal lung cancer.

he never even smoked.

no estimate yet. has to see the oncologist monday.

fuck fuck fuck, everyone around me is dying.

4900

fuck… that’s the same thing killing my mother-in-law. Same circumstances, too – never smoked.