Tell us what's happened to you recently (that's interesting)

[Rimbo]

Yes, but I reckon that this is something that does not happen every year. Bad people? They’re with you no matter HOW long you stay in one place, hoping for them to die of old age or leave or whatever…

[kerzain]

They’re talking about South Africa. I suggest you move to Cape Town instead of Seattle.

[Rimbo]

They’re talking about South Africa. I suggest you move to Cape Town instead of Seattle.

no way in hell

[ChristienMurawski]

What if we give you diplomatic immunity?

-xtien

[Rimbo]

pops crick in neck

BLAM

just been revoked

[Brendan]

If you aren’t careful we’ll sic Wickus on you.

[Nellie]

last we heard he was working in a Bar in London.

[Demon_G_Sides]

I just opened a fortune cookie and the fortune said thus;

“Don’t panic.”

Wow.

[BrianRubin]

I just opened a fortune cookie and the fortune said thus;

“Don’t panic.”

Wow.

Hope you have your towel with you, you hoopy frood. ;)

[Leah_C]

Today was exciting. It started out with my brother celebrating his 30th birthday in a hospital with doctors telling him they nearly decided to amputated his leg and he’s still not out of the woods yet and may not be able to work again (he’s an amazing chef). I cried at work and scared the babies.

It ended with my boss telling me she’s reducing my hours by 13 hours a week and me responding that I’m unable to accept that reduction. Now we’re in that fun limbo where we figure out how to deal with that.

[Anti-Bunny]

I thought this was going to happen a while ago, but finally my prayers have been answered and my walking papers are coming through. Hallelujah, I don’t have to quit because they’re paying me to leave. It’s kind of a weird feeling to be happy about a layoff, but equally weird that all my coworkers seem downright jealous. Good bye company and hopefully goodbye Florida.

I’ve been approached by one of the IT Directors. Apparently the entire remainder of the IT staff is about to be laid off, and they’ve been seeking bids to outsource it… So, he is forming a company and submitting a bid (not to mention lined up an additional separate client), and he wants to hire me…

So, basically I’d be doing more work for less pay without benefits for at least the near future. uh… yay?

[Rimbo]

Looks like I’m not going to Seattle. :(

[AndrewMyers]

I’ve been approached by one of the IT Directors. Apparently the entire remainder of the IT staff is about to be laid off, and they’ve been seeking bids to outsource it… So, he is forming a company and submitting a bid (not to mention lined up an additional separate client), and he wants to hire me…

So, basically I’d be doing more work for less pay without benefits for at least the near future. uh… yay?

Go ahead and sign up so you at least have some income while your job search is underway?

[Tortilla]

A few months ago I was working with some of the software testers from our QA group and saw that they were putting in some appallingly huge amounts of manual effort to set up our rather complex product into convoluted edge case configurations in order to execute some test cases. It was working out to more than an hour of manual configuration labor per test case executed in one regression suite. Horrified I ran off and spent a couple of days writing some test tools for them that could capture system state, store it as a XML file, and then later load the XML and restore the system to that state. This let them very easily set up their weird configurations in a repeatable and reliable manner for their test cases. They thanked me mightily as I’d just saved them a ton of time and went off about their business.

A week later I was doing a new feature product demo for our biggest client and I was using my new test tool to rapidly shift the demo system config so I could show them different features and scenarios. They were only lukewarm on the new features but seemed quite interested in the test tool as they too spent huge gobs of time integration testing and validating the product before they’d go to production with it. I gave them my copy and told them to consider it a demo. It wasn’t a formal product my company offered, after all, it was just a set of scripts I’d whipped up in a couple of days.

What I didn’t know until later was that the clients wandered off with the demo and showed it to their testers who loved it. The testers (mistakenly) assumed it was a tool that they bought and would be using on all future releases for testing. So these testers laid out firm schedules for the next three quarters of integration testing assuming they would have the speed and productivity gains from my test tool.

A week ago the clients inquired of me as to where to get the newest version of this tool, the one compatible with the newest releases of my company’s product. I quickly involved the head of our sales dept and we conferred and offered them some outlandish price for a license. This morning, they accepted without counteroffer or any haggling on the price. Then they told us the story of how their testers had grown reliant on it and needed the tool badly to avoid blowing up three quarters worth of testlab scheduling.

So a simple tool I designed, developed, tested, and marketed to the client all on my own initiative resulted in a surprisingly large amount of revenue. I can’t cite specifics, but it was enough revenue to purchase any imported luxury car one might be interested in.

For a day of conference calls and emails and writing up a quote, our head of sales is getting a commission worth multiple thousands of dollars. For my part I’m getting $100 and a certificate of appreciation.

That seems a tad bit unfair to me, so I’ve decided to be bitter and surly today.

My bitterness and surliness has ended.

Apparently the owner of our company recently realized, when reviewing the final numbers for 2009, that there was a product on the books showing revenue that he had never even heard of. So he asked some questions, got the story, and decided that something a bit more than a certificate of appreciation was called for.

I was quite gratified to be surprised with a special award at a recent company meeting, and even more gratified to be quietly handed a special bonus check later. It’s even nicer because given the poor economy and weak sales in the past few quarters, the company had announced that bonuses for the year were cancelled.

[Lorini]

Just think of how much money you’d have if you went independent and got the money yourself. Just a thought, Kraaze, just a thought.

[Mightynute]

I was quite gratified to be surprised with a special award at a recent company meeting, and even more gratified to be quietly handed a special bonus check later. It’s even nicer because given the poor economy and weak sales in the past few quarters, the company had announced that bonuses for the year were cancelled.

That’s awesome, man. Similar situation here, we’re in a hiring/salary freeze with no raises or bonuses since '08, and it’s looking to continue. Of course, this would be the year that I get put in de facto charge of various major branding and website redesign projects, and told “You know, the moment we come off this salary freeze, you’ll probably get a raise and a bonus for this…”

They say “when”, I’m hearing “if”…

[Tortilla]

Just think of how much money you’d have if you went independent and got the money yourself. Just a thought, Kraaze, just a thought.

Oh I’ve thought hard about becoming a independent consultant, believe me. I think it would really suit my temperament well and I’d enjoy it.

Unfortunately there are some major barriers in my family’s situation that keep that from being feasible any time in the next few years. It’s still penciled in the long range plan though.

[TheTrunkDr]

That’s awesome, man. Similar situation here, we’re in a hiring/salary freeze with no raises or bonuses since '08, and it’s looking to continue. Of course, this would be the year that I get put in de facto charge of various major branding and website redesign projects, and told “You know, the moment we come off this salary freeze, you’ll probably get a raise and a bonus for this…”

They say “when”, I’m hearing “if”…

Freeze or no a change of responsibilities should include a salary review. If they were to hire someone from outside for your new/updated position would they pay them more than what you currently make?

[Mightynute]

Freeze or no a change of responsibilities should include a salary review. If they were to hire someone from outside for your new/updated position would they pay them more than what you currently make?

That’s just it, these new projects fall under the current job description. And I don’t mind - stability without a raise is okay by me, especially in this job market.

But I just got the best news EVER that totally turns my frown upside down. We made a significant donation as an organization to the Matthew Snyder fund to offset the court costs for the father of a deceased Marine who’s been in a court battle with the Westboro Baptist Church. Our Commander-in-Chief, usually known for saying the kind of off-the-cuff right-wing comments that make most of us facepalm, came out with a SCATHING diatribe against the WBC.

We are, officially, now on their shit list.

Guess who the first point of contact on our national toll-free hotline is?

Oh yeah.

Me, to our Adjutant General (equivalent of a CEO): “You realize I’m probably going to have to talk to someone from the WBC if they call here, right?”

AG: “I’m aware.”

Me: “You know, uh… I do have a written counseling statement in my HR file from that time when I had to deal with the 9/11 Truthers…”

AG: “I know. That’s why I trust you’ll treat any of these assholes with the same courtesy.”

Me: “…are you telling me the gloves are off?”

AG: “Fire for effect, son.”

I just got given executive permission to be as much of an asshole as possible to these bigots if they make harassing contact. Hell to the yes.

Edit: Overruled by my boss who says “Be tactful, odds are that the one time you decide to go Bill Hicks on these guys, that’s what’ll wind up as a sound bite on the news.” Boo tact.

[Adam_Altmann]

I’m going to see the Harlem Globetrotters tonight.