Previously:
Married in '04, wanted babies, failed, went to fertility doc in late '05, doc found stage 1A adenocarcinoma in fertility bits necessitating immediate ovo-hysterectomy in early '06. Cancer completely removed, no chemo/radiation – yay! No babies, ever – crippling grief! Sign on with adoption agency in early '07, excitement at first, interminable wait, “we might have one for you!” “nope they chose someone else”, repeat repeat repeat repeat, creeping resignation that maybe it’ll never happen, try to convince self that it will, spend next 3.5 years getting generally really dejected about the whole fucking thing and avoiding any/all “HOORAY WE HAD A NEW BABY!” announcements and happiness because other people’s joy somehow manages to stab you in the fucking heart over and over and over and OVER and over again. Oh my god you have NO idea.
Today:
9am: wake up (self-employed, it’s allowed), let dogs out, get yogurt from fridge.
9:06am: phone rings; caller ID shows our adoption caseworker, who I haven’t talked to in a couple months, calling from home – wtf? “Hi! Want a baby that was born yesterday? It’s healthy! P.S. you have to pick it up this afternoon.” “Hell yeah we do!” [note: conversation has been abridged slightly]
9:10am: try to reach wife on cell phone before she gets to work at 10am.
9:11am: try to reach wife on cell phone. Turn your damn phone on, woman!
9:12am: try to reach wife on cell phone. “Dear, when you get this message, call me IMMEDIATELY.”
9:13am-9:36am: pace back and forth
9:37am: “What’s going on? (panic in voice) Did the dog die?” “No, the dogs are fine – but you need to come home. Right now. Your boss will understand.” [note: she’s a pretty good boss]
9:39am: “I’m halfway home. (panic in voice) Did someone die?” “No. It’s good news. Just come home.” [note: didn’t want wife to freak out and drive into tree]
9:51am: “…baby.” huge smile tears panic etc
9:52am-11:30am: AAAAAAAAAAaaaAAAUUUUuuUUUUUUGHGHHHHHH HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT
11:30am-12:15am: go to adoption agency, sign paperwork. Go to friends house, borrow infant carseat.
12:15-3pm: Drive to Detroit. [note: technically, Garden City]
3pm-3:45pm: more paperwork.
3:45pm:
[note: picture taken 2.1 seconds after first holding her]
3:45pm-6:30pm: hang out at hospital with new daughter.
6:30pm-9:30pm: drive home.
This is Alexandra Corinne, and she is the most important person in the world.
