6381

I usually have http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBNy3l3Me5o come to mind first in these situations.

6382

Yeah, well I always think of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvTWE42tK0U

6383

Ooo. Which one? What finish? Birds or dots?

I was supposed to close on my very first ever house this morning at nine. I sat there until nine forty-four having small-talk with two realtors and three sellers (nice people!) At that point the closing agent came in and said the money was here, but the paperwork needed some tweaking for my VA loan, so we should all come back at one this afternoon. Ugh.

6384

You know what happens when the majority of Americans become obese? We get terms like “fatist” that are actually used without being some kind of ironic joke.

6385

And when the inevitable collapse happens, it’ll be the fit and healthy that survive in post-apocalyptic utopia. Until then, eh, let them eat cake. Lots and lots of delicious cake.

6386

Thin people could hunt the fat people like buffalo on the plains once the collapse occurs. Though, you’ve probably got a year of good eating before either the fat population is hunted to extinction or they become thin from running from McGuyver-esque post apocalyptic weaponry.

6387

6388

A term wouldn’t be needed if people like you would show a bit of decency and respect.

6389

Not me. The Kentucky gentleman I’m buying it from drove it to Kentucky to visit family.
On his way back through Mississippi, he was going about 70 on a 45mph stretch of back road with no one around except the local sheriff who was driving in the opposite direction. The sheriff lit him up before they even passed each other, and the Kentucky gentleman pulled over.

It could have turned into a regular traffic stop with the possibility of jail time, but instead, he told me something else happened.

MISSISSIPPI SHERIFF
License and proof of insurance, please.

KENTUCKY GENTLEMAN
(hands them over) Officer, I’ve been driving for a while, do you mind if I step out and stretch my legs for a bit?

MISSISSIPPI SHERIFF
Be my guest. (gentleman opens door and climbs out of car) What kind of car is this, anyway.

KENTUCKY GENTLEMAN
It’s a Lotus.

MISSISSIPPI SHERIFF
A Lotus, huh? Where are you headed?

KENTUCKY GENTLEMAN
Home, to Houston. Back from Kentucky visiting family.

MISSISSIPPI SHERIFF
Do you know how fast you were going?

KENTUCKY GENTLEMAN
About 70.

MISSISSIPPI SHERIFF
72 to be exact. You know the speed limit on this road is 45?

KENTUCKY GENTLEMAN
I know, but there was no one else on the road, and I was really just enjoying driving through this beautiful countryside of yours.

MISSISSIPPI SHERIFF
I can’t say I can blame you. If I were driving a car like that I’d probably be doing the same thing. Just watch your speed on the rest of this road, and have a safe trip home.
(returns papers to gentleman and is walking back to cop car)

KENTUCKY GENTLEMAN
(starts to get back into car when he sees his camera in his passenger seat, calls out to officer) Officer, I don’t mean to push my luck here but, I’ve got my camera here and I’d sure like to get a picture of my car with your car behind it having pulled me over. Would you mind?

MISSISSIPPI SHERIFF
Not at all. In fact, I’ll even pose next to it if you take my camera and take one for me too.

THE END

6390

This one. It’ll be about a 6 week wait now, but I’ll get it:

6391

That sort of exchange between the police and the policed is becoming woefully rare these days.

6392

This would be better-suited to a “Tell us what’s happened to you recently (that’s irritating)” thread but I’m venting, anyway.

A few months back the dishwasher upstairs backed up and a bunch of water came down into my kitchen via the ceiling. One of the pathways led through the light above my sink, shorting it out. Another was through the cupboard housing the fusebox, though it fortunately did not go through the fusebox.

Apparently the issue was never actually resolved.

Last night at 11:30 p.m. the dishwasher was running, the family upstairs already in bed. I noticed a dripping sound. It takes a few moments to register. I know there is a change in the forecast, so my first thought is the rain may have come early. I look out a window. Dry. I go into the kitchen, working on assumption #2: I did not turn off the faucet. I am greeted by water pouring down from at least three places in the ceiling/cupboards. I clean it up and call upstairs. No answer. I leave a message, explicitly saying the dishwasher is having problems again.

I wait a bit and it looks to have stopped. However, I return a short time later and the dishwasher has apparently released one last gush of water. I clean up again. The dishwasher stops, so I figure I am safe until morning.

While I am sleeping early in the morning (6 a.m. or so), Tim comes into the kitchen and discovers a pool of water in front of the dishwasher. He also notes that the dishes are not clean. His solution is to run the dishwasher again. I awake to flood #3. I call upstairs. He acknowledges that he got my message but does not explain why he felt the need to flood my suite yet again. He says he will call to have the dishwasher repaired.

In the interim, they will wash their dishes by hand, “like the Amish,” I say.

He then leaves and his wife also heads out to work, leaving their 13 year old son at home. He is a good kid. He sees the dishwasher full of dirty dishes so like a good kid, he starts it up because Tim has not told him it is broken. Commence flood #4. I rush upstairs and get him to turn it off. I tell him when he sees his mother to tell her not to run it because I am 99.9% sure this farce would repeat yet again if I didn’t. It may still, anyway.

Anyway, that’s what happened and it was interesting. And infuriating.

6393

Yeah I thought that “mind if I stretch my legs?” was going to turn into “don’t taze me bro!”

6394

OMG, that’s a beauty. I love PRS’s. I wish I were a more accomplished player so I could justify getting one.

6395

Thanks, Jerri. The body is swamp ash, which isn’t often used for guitars, but gives it a nice warm (and fairly unique) sound. Since it’s a PRS, the craftsmanship is excellent, of course. Maybe if you got one, you would force yourself to play more, to justify the expense. It could motivate you!

6396

I’ll just chime in here with this, at the risk of provoking the ire of DGS, your trusty sidekick: Guap, you’re a dick. I used to give you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you were basically benevolent but self-absorbed and immature, but I think it goes beyond that. You are the frat-boy villain in the popped-collar pink Izod in every bad 80s movie. And in 25 years, you are the guy in the Hedonism 2 video.

And DGS: Save it. I already know what you’re going to say, and I’m already bored. I didn’t care about the opinions of college-age stoner boys when I was in college, and I certainly don’t care about them now.

6397

I personally expect to get pulled over more often in my daily driver (a little 1998 white Toyota RAV4) after I install the new license plates I got today.

obWhittaPic:

6398

Maybe. :) I should probably take lessons. I’m a completely self-taught guitarist (learned in high school), but I’m mostly an acoustic strummer and have never played much lead. I’d like to get better at that. I am certain one of those PRS’s with the beautiful blue-green finish would inspire me. :)

6399

Okay, that’s awesome Roger.

6400

It’s not that uncommon, the signature sound of the 50s Strat was partly due to being a swamp ash body (they moved to alder in the 60s). PRS revived a lot of the swamp ash interest a couple decades ago and since then there are Gibson, Parker, etc. swamp ash guitars. I have a swamp ash custom guitar.