Sorry to hear that - hang in there! At least she was honest about it so you have the chance to form another real connection with someone.
I think your post was exceedingly interesting insofar as I know you’re a cool, kind guy whose success and happiness I’m absolutely interested in :)
I’m sorry that things have taken this slow, painful turn, but as others have noted, in many ways, the most unpleasant part of all this (realizing you have lost the love of someone you held dear for so long) is nearly behind now, and what comes next is better. . . for both of you. And on the days that it really super-fucking doesn’t feel that way, well, you’ve got a whole forumful of internet friends here who’ve got your back, man.
<3
Sounds like a tough time, @Shellfishguy, but I’m confident you’ll make the best of it! I’m a confirmed bachelor myself, so I certainly can’t relate directly to the end of such a long relationship. I tend more toward the date-for-a-few-months-then-move-on end of the spectrum, and as such spend a good amount of time alone. That’s not a bad thing! You might find that it works for you, certainly has for me.
Thanks guys, I appreciate it. Oh and @ArmandoPenblade my daughter and her fiancee are going to be moving down your way since he’s accepting a job in Cary. So I’ll be knocking on your door expecting some of that fine cooking before you know it!
That’s awesome! It’s a great area; they’re gonna love it. And no kidding, if you wanna grab dinner or something, drop me a line!
Sad to hear all that, Shellfishguy. I hope you move on quickly and find your bliss soon enough, whatever it may be. And I’m glad to see you added “hopeful” to the feelings you’ve been through - that’s a great thing. All the best to you, pal.
You don’t need to take everyone to dinner, just setup that Armando-Yelp restaurant review service we all need locally.
I live in Southern Oregon. I almost never go to the North part of the coast, so this was a first visit for me in an attempt to get the Oregon Floats (blown glass balls). I’ve never seen that many people at one time at the coast.
I wore sandals on the way home, the scenic hwy route. We stopped at multiple places. I had my feet in that water for about 20 minutes… and my toes were numb when i called into the car.
What I found intriguing is for years I’ve seen these signs that tell you where to go when a tsunami hits. I kept thinking… when was the last time we even had one of those. And then… we had one a few years ago.
of course what that means is that if you wanted to sell it and move odds are the house you wanted to buy would have gone up in value that much as well.
Oh yeah, I get that. We have no plans to move. It was just interesting.
I wish I could pay your house’s current price where I live.
Mine was probably worth $325k in 2007. Now I think it might be back to $250k+/-. But we did pay $145 for it in 1993.
Orlando is the 2nd fastest growing city in the US. I’m expecting property values to go up for a while now. Come on down while it’s still cheap. ;-)
Ewww, Florida weather. No thanks. If I wanted to sweat through my clothes 9 months a year I’d invest in a sauna.
Give me snow and seasons, damnit. And fewer snowbird drivers ;)
Heh. I get that. I love the hot weather. I may be one of the Lizard People.
Aw hell naw, spent the first thirty years of my life in the Deep South, I am done with that climate. I prefer the amphibious life in the Pacific Northwest.
So. I wasn’t sure where to put this. I didn’t want to start a new thread. So here I go.
My adult son and I have been estranged since I moved to Florida. I left his mother when he was almost 2 years old because we were toxic together. So many fights. So loud, so nasty. My feeling was that I’d leave him with her because she was a strong woman. She would make him strong. I was in his life. We had visitation. I gave her $10,000 of an accident settlement to make up for not giving her money earlier. I was not a deadbeat dad. We never went to court. I was giving her money from paycheck to paycheck.
When I told him that my wife and I were moving to Florida, at the request of my mother, he got really pissed off. Long story short, I haven’t heard from him since 2011.
Tonight I got a text from my ex telling me that he’s engaged to marry.
The wife says I should be happy for him. But emotionally I am barren. I have been trying to shut out any feelings for him for so long that I honestly feel nothing. I know that I will not be a part of his life when married. I know that he will have a child or children and I will not be a grandfather t them.
I did ask my ex for a picture of them. As well I asked if I could send a gift. Waiting for a reply.
As someone who is also estranged from his immediate family, I know how you feel exactly.
If you’ll pardon me getting a bit maudlin, your story reminds me of my relationship with my dad. I’ll give you a bit of backstory and try not to be too boring. Anyway, my parents married out of high school, had me at nineteen. In no way prepared for life. Things didn’t work out, they were divorced when I was around five. My dad is the kind of guy who is everybody’s best friend, but the poor guy had no idea how to be a dad, nor really much interest in trying, I don’t think. Anyway, my mom had custody of me, I saw him every so often. We got along but weren’t close. I’ll cut to the chase - he died in 2001, and … I didn’t feel anything. No sense of loss, no feeling of mourning, no real regrets. He was pretty much just a guy to me. No hard feelings, mind you, just a guy who was around, and now he wasn’t.
I think about him more now that I have kids. I regret that he never met his grandkids, I think he would have been a pretty good granddad. I wonder why his life went the way it did and why it ended the way it did (I’ll not trouble you with the details). I’m not about to lecture you, but I guess what I would say, @RichVR, is think about how you would want your son to remember you. Do you want to be a guy who was in his life until you weren’t? Are you ok with that? I’m not looking for you to reply, your answer is nobody’s business but your own. I just figured maybe it was worth thinking about. Pardon me if I am overstepping any boundaries.
Not at all. I think about this almost every day. But I think I already know the answer. I’m that guy. I don’t like it. I hate it. I’m hoping for a change. I don’t blame him, I blame me. There is so much I should have done. But shoulda, coulda is bullshit. You are spot on. No reason to apologize.