Tell us what's happened to you recently (that's interesting)

Hold my beer!

A few years ago, my then-girlfriend Jessica and I ended up with an escort in our hotel room. I’m sure you’re all much more impressed now, having just read that, than you will be in a moment after reading how it happened.

We’d gone to a dinner party over in Detroit that one of Jess’ coworkers had organized. One of the guys had brought a nice young lady named Danielle (which I’m sure wasn’t her real name) that no one else knew. She hit it off with Jess and they did quite a bit of talking through the evening. At some point later on, the guy and Danielle got into a major argument (which I never did learn the details of) and he storms out, leaving her stranded.

Being the nice folks we are, of course Jess and I offered to give her a ride home. This was met with some serious waterworks, and after quite a bit of calming by Jess the story came out. Danielle was from Cleveland, and had met the guy on an online escort forum. He had driven over and picked her up earlier in the day and promised to pay her to come to the party with him and then spend the night. Now she was stuck with nowhere to go and no way home. And more than a little inebriated, too.

Neither Jess nor I felt comfortable just leaving - the wee hours of the morning in Detroit aren’t a good time to leave a drunk girl stranded. (Wish the ass of a guy who brought her had felt the same.) I suppose we could have called the authorities, but there’s no way that would have had a good ending for Danielle, not to mention that we’d probably have to spend quite a bit of time being questioned about the situation. We had a hotel room already, since driving back to Grand Rapids is not an appealing task that late after a party. So, Jess offered to let Danielle stay with us and then we’d help her figure out a way home in the morning. The look the hotel desk clerk guy gave us, me walking in with a hot girl on each arm, was priceless. I’m sure his thoughts were a lot more exciting than the reality!

So Danielle slept it off on the extra bed in our hotel room. I slept pretty lightly that night…she didn’t seem very dangerous, especially as drunk as she was, but you never know. Had our wallets and keys under the pillow, just in case. In the morning we left her at the bus station for a later bus to Cleveland. I later heard from Jess, who was texting her to make sure she got home, that Danielle didn’t get on that bus. She ended up calling the guy and he took her home, presumably after a suitable apology and completing their worlds-oldest-profession transaction. Sounds nuts, I know, but if the girl was willing to go to another city and sleep with a strange guy for money, then I suppose it’s not surprising that she’s unwilling to go home without getting paid. No matter how much of an asshole that guy was.

To the best of my knowledge, no one besides us knew what had happened. Neither Jess nor I knew anything about the guy, and we weren’t interested in causing any more trouble for Danielle. Since she told us that she’d gotten home safely via those texts, we decided it was best to just let it lie. And so now I have a story about the night my (ex)girlfriend and I slept with an escort.

Yes, he’s 77, soon to be 78!

That reminds me of one of my dad’s biggest laughs from watching Scrubs: Dr. Kelso: “Ahhh, Janis Joplin! My God, she was an uggo!”

My son and I found this today:

She was running around on a busy street near my son’s school. And standing in front of traffic as cars sat there going, “Duh.” So we pulled over and I called her to me. She came right over and I got her and took her to a nearby lawn by the side of the road.

The first phone number on her tag went to a random voicemail number. On the other side was another number with the warning, “Needs Medication” under it. I called that. A man answered speaking in Japanese, and then saying, “Who is this? What is it?”

“I have a dog with this number on its collar. Is this your dog?”

He cursed and said, “She’s gotten out 82 times now! Where are you?”

I told him and he said he’d send his wife right out. The dog was nuts about my son, and then she sat on command and then went down and curled up under my legs. She was a really sweet puppy.

A woman emerged from across the street and I waved to her. She came over and said thank you and, “I don’t know what she’s running away from!”

I handed the dog over and the dog immediately took off, running into the street again–which was really scary–and then into another neighbor’s gated yard.

“What should we do?” asked my son.

“It’s her dog. It’s her problem,” I said, but then I just went and followed them up the street. Eventually the woman emerged holding the dog by the collar, having not even bothered to bring out a leash.

“Need help getting her home?” I asked.

“Yes. I’m holding my phone,” she answered, showing me her phone.

So I picked up the dog and carried her back.

“I don’t know what she’s running from,” the woman said again.

I’m pretty sure I know, I thought. Yes, this was unkind. Oh well.

Dog keeps breaking through the wooden gate no matter how many times they fix it, which probably means she’s not being walked enough or having her other needs met properly. I dropped her off in the woman’s yard and went on my way. My son asked if we could have another dog. He immediately liked this dog.

“No. It’s their dog.”

“But they aren’t treating it right. Isn’t there something we can do about that?”

“No. That’s not the way it works with pets.”

Really sweet. Really cool dog. I hope these goofballs wake up and treat her right.

-xtien

In a perfect world you and your son would take this poor pupper in and that would be the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Otherwise, you are completely right. Unfortunately.

Maybe next time? Hint. Hint.

Edit: They won’t get smart. Sounds like a couple of people who thought that owning a dog like that would be a cool thing. But they have no clue how much work it would be. Thus they give it minimal attention and care.

The dog is being abused, in a way. So you might find a way to either make it part of your home or bring it to a shelter. Assuming it’s not a kill shelter. I have no idea what the rules are in your area. Sorry if I’m going off. I love doggos.

No need to apologize. Your latest post in the un-Gif thread inspired me to tell you all about it.

Taking care of a dog takes work, time, and will. And is totally worth it. But you have to be aware of what you’re getting into and meet that dog’s needs. You’re probably right, Rich, that they won’t wise up. If the dog has run away that many times, they can’t be bothered to learn how to raise her.

What breaks my heart is that she immediately responded to the right energy. I think she’s got the natural sense to be part of a proper pack. I mean, to be fair, I saw her for maybe twenty minutes, so that could be inaccurate. But my instinct is that I’m right. She just needs the right family structure.

-xtien

My SIL fancies herself a “husky whisperer,” and just returned from guest watching / participating in the Iditarod, would absolutely lose her shit over this post. She often posts on FB about how much additional work, attention and care huskies need over most other breeds.

You should call the owner back and tell them if they ever consider getting rid of the dog to give you a call first. They’re clearly not prepared to properly care for a husky.

My sister has a former sled dog. Not a husky, per se, but a breed known as the Eurohound which is part husky and part other, and she is great. But she’s in need of exercise, which is why I’m her favorite. Nothing made her happier than me taking her on a 5+ mile run.

She’s just disinterested in everything if she doesn’t get at least a good walk for a few days.

I got PRK surgery yesterday - I had no idea that tear ducts are connected to your nose until this.

On the bright side, I can type this message w/o glasses for the time in 25 years so there’s that.

Congrats! So tear ducts can cause you to need glasses? I’m guessing because of pressure build-up on the eyeball, or something like that?

Ah, so PRK is basically an alternative form of LASIK surgery. The recovery time is much longer than LASIK (where generally speaking you are good to go immediately afterwards) but the general consensus is that there is a smaller risk of complications so I opted for that.

The negative is that for the first 3-4 days or so my eyes are super sore and need to be medicated constantly…my eyes are also super sensitive to light and will tear up at a moment’s notice if I’m not careful. Hoping to recover soon!

Was on my own for dinner tonight, decided to hit a local bar 'n grill right by the base that has a Wednesday special of their massive chicken wings for $5 ($2 for a pitcher of pop that’s refillable, and I swear they take dinosaurs down to produce these wings). Walk in and there’s a new girl behind the counter who is without a doubt the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in-person in probably 10-15 years. Ever see someone who literally takes your breath for a few seconds? Yep, that was her. Being the introverted nerd that I am, I had a hard time even making eye contact as she introduced herself, asked my name, took my order, checked back routinely, etc. Not because she was smitten with my bald, fat butt, but because she seemed genuinely friendly and outgoing. Which only made her even more attractive.

Yeah, that’s the highlight of my week thus far.

There are worse highlights to have. :)

Yes.
And your post needs a photo to accompany it.
Next time you go there, attempt to photograph her. This should, in theory, produce another interesting post.

Sorry, but I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t feel right capturing her image to put on display, with or without her consent.

What’s the name of this place with the awesome wings?

You are correct of course, although I am still curious.

Okay this is going to be super silly, but it was a very long-lasting mystery of the life of my family, and that wasn’t solved for years and years. And if it may help someone who runs into the same issue…

Back at my parents’, my mother had a cheap coffee-maker/espresso machine combo. The espresso side made use of a portafilter specially made for pads, that look like this:
pad

She tried it numerous times: no matter what, it was pouring unsavory, vaguely coloured water devoid of taste. A total scam, or so we thought.

15 years later, I got my own espresso machine a couple of weeks ago. She (her name is Claudia) comes with that same capsule portafilter, and we got a dozen free pads graciously offered for a test run. I go for it. A fine espresso. Not italian quality, but tasty like what I’d get at an average coffee place in France.
Last week-end, I am to pour us espressos after lunch. The unforgotten tasteless water coffee soup came down. Over and over. I was going nuts: it was just exactly like my mother’s! Did I break the machine? Were our blood cursed?! The portafilter seemed a bit lose…
My wife spotted my error on the third failiure: I had forgotten to put the (arguably super small) portafilter basket made for pads. They were fitting so nicely, even without it…
So silly. Don’t do that. I can’t believe it, but I must come to sense: my mother had had a RTFM-ectomy back then. In all seriousness, I haven’t told her yet: I am scared of the aftershock.

I understand your pain. Lots of people have secrets that they keep from their families. It’s a struggle. Of all the people in the world, shouldn’t she know the truth? But is it really worth it? Is it worth breaking your mother’s heart? Maybe this is something you just have to take to your grave.

You are absolutely right. I won’t impose that on her. Thank you.