I don’t see it as a ‘seeming lack’ at all. I don’t think you should put it that way. You’re a good dude IMO and you care for your friends. The choice to not have kids is totally valid, and is not a lack.
You are absolutely right about this. I had to sit between two people at an awards event who only wanted to talk about a computer game they were playing and I was just looking longingly at the other people have conversations about life and other things. That said, I was at a party a few days later when somebody asked me about movies and I realized many minutes in that I’d overstayed my subject welcome. I told her I had done a show about my top ten for the year. She asked what they were. And I went on and on and didn’t realize I was being tiresome.
Very, very well put. I also try to pull people in to the conversation and find what they’re passionate about. Unfortunately in a lot of social situations this begins and ends with, “So what do you do?” Meaning, “What’s your job?” If you’re a stay-at-home dad, it is a dreaded question. If you’re a novelist who hasn’t published any of his stuff yet, it is a dreaded question. So I try to probe a bit to find out what they’re into. To be honest, hearing Tom do interviews and watching him talk to people taught me a lot. How to ask open-ended questions that might lead to topics everybody at the table will want to discuss. I’ve gotten better at that because of him.
Again. Absolutely agree. My friends who can’t stand kids, or just don’t want them…I get them and I get that. I will not look down on them.
The difficulty here is that many folks who don’t have kids don’t realize that going out to the movies is going to cost $80 at minimum because of child care. And that’s not including dinner or whatever. I’m not asking them to make allowances, just to understand. Having a kid was my choice. So I have to deal with that. That’s on me. I just don’t want to be judged as a bad friend because I don’t show up for the group event at the Arclight Theater because I cannot afford it.
We often traded off movie nights because of this, and so would often go alone. But again…my choice to have a kid.