1681

I went to my first Father-Daughter dance this weekend. Screaming 11 year old girls and a bunch of dads just wishing there was a keg hidden away somewhere.

It was quite fun though and my daughter was very happy to dance with her old 2 left-footed dad…a few times.

1682

I’m trying to maneuver my car into a parking space at Target and hit this van I thought I had cleared. Big dent in my bumper but he says his car is fine <whew>. I drive on to the grocery store and take about an hour to shop. I come out of the store and the dent is gone!! Completely gone, leaving only a scratch. Amazing! Toyota is awesome!! I get in the car and I HAVE NO FUCKING SOUND. Unbelievable. I was listening to a podcast before I went into the store and now, no sound. Toyota sucks! The bass in the speakers had been cutting out for about a week, but now there’s no sound at all, not in the AM/FM, the Sirius, or the Aux.

*I have a 2007 Camry

1683

You got in the wrong car, dude.

1684

I met Adam Savage today.

1685

Did you give a girlish scream and run at him? That’s what any self respecting man would do.

1686

I surely would. But Siren is a girl, so she probably kept her cool.

I’m starting a diet and excercising again (that is, I brought the work-out clothes to work, now I just need to remember and leave my desk at 4).
Since I’m pretty knowledgeable of the science of dieting (except for the part of diet sodas, I still don’t believe that), I know it’s motivation I lack. So I entered with our resident mens fitness magazine as a case study together with some coleagues - the point is to offer professional advice and whip a couple of doughy journos into shape for an article. The goal is 14 pounds in 7 weeks. I’m on my own after that.

Two of us are in the same office and our nice colleagues are placing bets. I expect offerings of chocolate and ice cream on my desk from the people playing the other guy…
(I think that will motivate me even more - never discount the power of “I’ll fucking show them!”)

1687

I moved into an awesome new house. Well, sort of. The house IS really awesome but I can only claim a small ground floor apartment. It’s a corner lot though, so I get a lot of light and have access to a sweet backyard with a giant lemon tree. Oh and this is the view from the house:

It’s much nicer when it’s not hazy out.

Downside to new house: “HEY! Do you live there?!” at least once a week as I walk out, followed by conversations I don’t want to have. It’s an old house and was used in a movie almost 20 years ago and people LOVE to talk about it.

1688

Out with it – which movie?

1689

Huh, so it isn’t safe to google image Adam Savage. Noted.

1690

Lemon tree! I am so jealous… sigh… Does it grow actual fruit? Could you make marmalade or lemon curd?

Jeeze louise, that’s a gorgeous view.

1691

Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo?

1692

On Friday, I had an ex-girlfriend flat out proposition me for a night of seedy, crazy monkey sex. I told her I was flattered, but still married. My penis is now angry with me, but my brain feels pretty smug.

1693

Did you consider asking your wife if it would be okay this once?

1694

Ha, ha… no. Although we are coming up on our ten-year anniversary - maybe I should have pulled a Larry David on her.

1695

Larry David?

1696

There’s an plotline in one of the later seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm where he brings up a bet he made with his wife that if they could stay married for ten years then he could have one night of cheating as a prize. It was a joke, but as per Larry David he was only half-kidding, so his wife calls his bluff.

1697

Yes! It’s bursting with ripe lemons at the moment. The family upstairs said I can take as many as I want, but I haven’t picked any yet. Maybe this weekend!

1698

First movie. I start every morning with the broom dance.

1699

Woke to a sore tooth Sunday. Got worse Monday. About killed me last night, so I went to the dentist and had an emergency root canal. Trauma-related, not decay, so I’m pissed at having a damaged tooth without earning it.

However, I heartily recommend befriending your dentist. My pharmacist GF was a bit shocked at how stiff a dose of Percocet he gave me. I feel haaaaaaaaaapy.

H.

edit: and never touching that stuff again. Scary how powerful it is, I’m down to a quarter-pill when absolutely necessary, which it hasn’t been yet.

1700

Blah.