Terrible games ads from the 90s

Back in the CGW days with Chips and Bits ads on the back page there were some terrible, embarrassing ads. One of the most famous of these I remember was for a game called Daikatana with a picture of a long haired John Romero that said “John Romero Will Make You His Bitch”. Of course it flopped.

There were other horribly embarrassing game ads too. Most of these involved a “sex sells” mentality I remember being pervasive and terribly embarrassing to read a gaming magazine. To wit:

I used to have hundreds of old GGWs and other mags like that in storage but got rid of them a few years ago, or I’d scan some. Anyone else remember these with a cringy fondness?

You talk about terrible ads, but then you post one of the greatest ads of all time. I am confused.

When i delved into old American game magazines last year, more than the game ads, it were the PC hardware ones that stroke me as wildly childish and inappropriate. I guess it made sense though, what with the “mine is bigger” mentality of people wishing to have superior gear compared to their neighbour or something.

No one but me remembers the RAM Matters ads from the RAM Council trade group.

Eww.

Yikes.

Why did this thread not start with this???

Well, it kind of did:

IMAGE!!!

At least it wasn’t made today, when it would have said #SuckItDown.

Maybe I was conflating two terrible ads.

How about Woooooo guy?

For a second I thought that said “Wingmom.” I can’t decide if that would be better or worse.

A more innocent time.

Bad ad for a great game.

What was the other American knockoff anime game with the female main character?

Oni?5