That Internet dating thing

Griddle · 2010-01-05T12:40:43.000Z

ElGuapo:

I think you should marry her, then in a year you can get Tom to change your name to divorced2x.

Hahahaha, oh man.

Demon_G_Sides · 2010-01-05T13:08:50.000Z

ElGuapo:

I think you should marry her, then in a year you can get Tom to change your name to divorced2x.

FATALITY

FLAWLESS VICTORY

Blackadar · 2010-01-05T13:20:09.000Z

WarrenM:

So you find the problem to be with … her? Really?

Absolutely. In my experience, timing is never that coincidental.

I’m not saying that perhaps divorced doesn’t have control issues. I don’t know him that well. But from what he posted, my advice to him is to run like hell from that chick.

WarrenM · 2010-01-05T13:21:02.000Z

Absolutely. In my experience, timing is never that coincidental.

So her crime is that she was online at the same time as her ex? BURN THE WITCH!

balut · 2010-01-05T13:54:22.000Z

Hmm, WarrenM and Blackadar post only 1 minute apart…soooo, how long have you two been having an affair?

Shadarr · 2010-01-05T15:16:33.000Z

shift6:

This whole thing sucks because I do think she’s cool. Just not mate material for me.

I dunno man, from what you’ve said she doesn’t sound like mate material for you or anyone you like.

DrCrypt · 2010-01-05T15:33:03.000Z

WarrenM:

So her crime is that she was online at the same time as her ex? BURN THE WITCH!

Dude… read it again! It wasn’t even her ex! It’s just some dude who once met divorced’s girlfriend and said he thought she was cool!

Seriously, this is like divorced thinking his girlfriend’s banging his Mom because they popped on Facebook within seconds of each other. There is absolutely no link between his girlfriend and the guy he suspects her of cheating on him with that I can discern.

shift6 · 2010-01-06T08:20:17.000Z

Shadarr:

I dunno man, from what you’ve said she doesn’t sound like mate material for you or anyone you like.

Heh, well probably my bias colored my post a bit. In fact I did introduce her to one of my buddies with whom she has much more in common than me. Whether anything comes of that or not is up to them, of course, but if so I wish them well.

Cosmic_Hippo · 2010-01-06T09:30:42.000Z

Shadarr:

Also, I had another woman write and tell me how much she “enjoyed” my profile today. No indication that she has any interest in me at all–except as a creator of art I suppose.

And (unless her profile is iffy) you reply, “Thanks! So I guess you’d be up for dinner next Friday?”

You’re kind of self-sabotaging here.

Shadarr · 2010-01-06T21:22:35.000Z

I was going to say “How many days do I have to wait to say I told you so?” but when I looked just now, she’d deleted her profile without replying. So, I told you so.

WarrenM · 2010-01-07T02:39:10.000Z

Whew! Lucky for you, there’s another whole category of women that you don’t have to reply to. You’ll be alone forever in no time! :)

ElGuapo · 2010-01-07T07:17:03.000Z

Yes! I got into beautifulpeople.com!

Just kidding. I wouldn’t be a member of any club that would have me as a member.

/Allen

I went on a date from OKCupid last night, and while the date was meh, I think I found a pot dealer. So not a wasted night!

Lunch_of_Kong · 2010-01-07T07:44:18.000Z

divorced:

if I told Robin I was going to a strip club (which would be totally opposite of my personality!), she would throw a fit just like I do if she goes to a bar with her buddies.

All relationships have a little jealousy, but the level of paranoia and mistrust you describe and the steps you have taken to attempt to control her interactions with other people is far beyond what any reasonable person would consider healthy.

We’re not in the people changing business. Either accept her the way she is or find someone else.

I’m sorry to hear about your troubles.

Robert_Sharp · 2010-01-07T08:56:30.000Z

I tend to agree. My wife wouldn’t care a bit if I went to a strip club. She would think it’s a bit silly (as would I, actually, so it’s not likely to happen, unless I’m going for a friend’s party or something), but she wouldn’t care about my going.

Tortilla · 2010-01-07T09:14:10.000Z

Robert Sharp:

I tend to agree. My wife wouldn’t care a bit if I went to a strip club. She would think it’s a bit silly (as would I, actually, so it’s not likely to happen, unless I’m going for a friend’s party or something), but she wouldn’t care about my going.

Man, you’ve got it good. When I get invited to go to strip clubs with my friends my wife insists on coming along. And then she spends a ton of money and engages in girl talk with the dancers.

It totally ruins the fun :(

salwon · 2010-01-07T10:10:57.000Z

How much does she drink? That sounds like it could get hot very fast.

WarrenM · 2010-01-07T10:12:57.000Z

Man, you’ve got it good. When I get invited to go to strip clubs with my friends my wife insists on coming along. And then she spends a ton of money and engages in girl talk with the dancers.

It totally ruins the fun :(

Your wife spends a ton of money to talk to strippers about … what, doing their nails? BANNED FROM THE CLUB!

Shadarr · 2010-01-07T10:55:39.000Z

WarrenM:

Whew! Lucky for you, there’s another whole category of women that you don’t have to reply to. You’ll be alone forever in no time! :)

Man, I don’t even know what you think you’re giving me shit for. I wrote back, what more can I do? I’m just sharing my frustration at the futility of it with you here, since the response rate on this sort of contact seems to be less than the (already annoyingly low) rate for first contact messages. It’s not like I started my reply with “I know you’re just wasting my time, but…”

WarrenM · 2010-01-07T11:08:06.000Z

Eh, just giving you a hard time. Nothing really behind it, sorry.

Creole_Ned · 2010-01-07T11:51:06.000Z

I had a date arranged via interweb two nights ago. He had the “dinner with a friend” bailout plan in place so it only lasted 45 minutes but despite that it went well, I think. His profile said he wanted to meet someone who could make him laugh and I did that (intentionally, that is, not by arriving with a trail of toilet paper behind me or something). It ended with him asking me to mail him. We shall see how this goes.

Another interweb date is set for Saturday afternoon. This is actually a reschedule with the bronchitis guy, so I’m half-expecting him to bail again, but one must remain positive!

Some of my other interactions throughout the week confirm that there are a lot of “nice” guys out there who are incapable of simply and politely stating they are not interested. Instead, they engage in diversionary games that eat up both individuals’ time as the one tries to read the signs of the other and interpret them. The most common tactic is inviting someone to chat then always somehow being unavailable. Coincidence? Perhaps.

“Message me in the evening and we’ll chat.”
“Okay.”
sends message in evening
“Oh, hi. I’m doing great but I’m leaving in a few minutes to have dinner with friends.”
“Okay.”
sends message at different hour a few days later
“Oh, hi. Sorry, I’m just heading out to see a movie. Will talk later!”
“Okay.”
vainly sends third message a week later
“Oh, hi. My dog is on fire but I should have him out soon.”
“Okay.”
Etc.

This actually doesn’t bother me since I have come to expect it, so I just move on. I do wish these people would grow some balls, though. Or get fireproof pets.