That Internet dating thing

[Creole_Ned]

If your city has Yahoo Meetup groups, those are a nice way to meet people. Here in St. Louis we have tons of them, ranging from political stuff, religious stuff, singles stuff, just fun stuff, and some really odd ones, like a wiccan group. I know one of the groups plays kickball and volleyball, among other things.

This was the sixth entry under ‘Vancouver’:

vancouver_lift_carry: “HI this is a group for those of us who love giving and getting piggyback rides and being lifted and carried.”

[Shadarr]

Shy, boring and reclusive is no way to go through life, son.

Is this directed at me? I am somebody’s son, that’s the only thing you got right.

[Damien_Falgoust]

Is this directed at me? I am somebody’s son, that’s the only thing you got right.

Know your classic movies better.

[Ed_Solomon]

I can’t believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.

[ChristienMurawski]

Anal happens.

Please tell me someone is already at work on the t-shirts.

-xtien

[JM1]

Are you talking about cricket again?

Cricket has an excuse - it’s been around for centuries.

[WarrenM]

Besides, learning to meet people is a valuable skill that will enrich you for the rest of your life. Even more than Xbox Live Achievements, believe it or not.

Shy, boring and reclusive is no way to go through life, son.

Might want to lay off a little on the life coaching and preaching. That doesn’t go down so well around here.

[malkav11]

Except, of course, I didn’t say internet dating wasn’t worthwhile; I use it myself. I just said that dating is a social activity and at some point you have to learn how to be, y’know, social. I’m glad Warren got lucky, but for most guys success means meeting – actually meeting, not IM’ing – lots of women over time.

Besides, learning to meet people is a valuable skill that will enrich you for the rest of your life. Even more than Xbox Live Achievements, believe it or not.

Shy, boring and reclusive is no way to go through life, son.

And that’s just it - I do social things, such as boardgaming or roleplaying. What I don’t do is take up activities I don’t find especially interesting for the sole purpose of meeting people, on the principle that I am not likely to be very good company if I am not enjoying myself and furthermore that there’s a good chance I’m not going to have much in common with said people.

[Damien_Falgoust]

Might want to lay off a little on the life coaching and preaching. That doesn’t go down so well around here.

/me compares join dates.

[Demon_G_Sides]

Join dates don’t mean shit, this thread was made within both of your times here. He’s right; life coaching can come off as preachy and make you sound like a bit of a douche.

However, I don’t think you’ve been too preachy, and people should definitely try to get out and interact with people.

There, devil’s advocate for both sides, accomplished.

[John_Merva]

Cricket has been around for a very long time. “Kickball” was presumably invented fairly recently. Is it just some sort of cultural cringe about playing football?

Don’t forget that in their football, they don’t actually kick the ball that much. It’s probably some way to remind players what they’re supposed to do in the game - I know I’d get confused! :)

[JM1]

Don’t forget that in their football, they don’t actually kick the ball that much. It’s probably some way to remind players what they’re supposed to do in the game - I know I’d get confused! :)

After our efforts today in South Africa, I completely support renaming Cricket to “HIT THE DAMN BALL WITH THE BAT AND DON’T LET IT HIT YOUR GODDAMN STUMPS… ball.”

[John_Merva]

After our efforts today in South Africa, I completely support renaming Cricket to “HIT THE DAMN BALL WITH THE BAT AND DON’T LET IT HIT YOUR GODDAMN STUMPS… ball.”

England To Uninvent Cricket

[Papageno]

I haven’t read this whole thread (way too long), but has anyone here had experience with eHarmony? I’m considering trying it out. Match.com a couple of years ago was a total bust. Met one truly gorgeous, brainy woman through it, had one great date, she talked about another one, but she was married to her job at Intel, I came off too eager and I never got a second date (not going to make that mistake again).

[John_Many_Jars]

And what, exactly, does that have to do with kickball?

[John_Merva]

And what, exactly, does that have to do with kickball?

Yeah, I hate it when threads get derailed.

[Shadarr]

So, dinner date set for Monday. Finally got to see a picture and she’s cute with no obvious deformities. Mind you, my painfully awkward first date was with a cute girl too. We shall see.

At least she actually says some things. Unlike sci fi chick, who IM’d me yesterday after not talking since before Christmas and asked how I am. So I blather on about being back at work and getting into the swing of regular life again after being on vacation for a couple paragraphs, then ask her how she’s been and she replies “I am good”. The rest of the conversation went pretty much the same way. Sigh.

[AndrewMyers]

Might want to lay off a little on the life coaching and preaching. That doesn’t go down so well around here.

Warren – use the quote button so I can click and see the post you’re responding to, dammit. I’m lazy and don’t want to scroll back!

[Damien_Falgoust]

And that’s just it - I do social things, such as boardgaming or roleplaying. What I don’t do is take up activities I don’t find especially interesting for the sole purpose of meeting people, on the principle that I am not likely to be very good company if I am not enjoying myself and furthermore that there’s a good chance I’m not going to have much in common with said people.

Well, I think if you’re going to go fishing, you need to park your boat where the fish are. That may sometimes mean going in on activities that you wouldn’t do left to your own devices.

I mean, sure, if you really, really hate kickball, don’t play. But I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who didn’t somewhat enjoy playing, even if it wasn’t their favorite thing the world. It’s a child’s game that can be played while drinking. What’s not to like?

But I digress. Kickball has been a good thing for me, and I thought I’d pass that on, but there’s plenty of other options. I know a guy who swears by yoga classes, and his rationale makes sense: the classes are almost exclusively female, and there’s a pretty good chance that any other males present are gay. It is, as they say, a target-rich environment. And the targets are all bendy and flexible, which has benefits later on…

So, yeah, in sum – find something to join, something that is likely to draw in single people but is not explicitly a “singles group,” and do that. And then talk to women there (and men, too; there are friends to be made) – the activity, whatever it is, gives you an automatic topic of conversation. Don’t make lame excuses for not talking to people.

I don’t know why any of the above would qualify as “life coaching” any more than any other advice offered in any other thread. Take it or leave it, I suppose.

Oh, and watch Animal House. It should be mandatory viewing for anyone with a college degree.

[malkav11]

I’ve not actually played kickball, but I haven’t enjoyed anything that could be fairly labelled as a sport, especially a team sport, ever. And ones in which there are large rubber balls flying into parts of my body? hell no.

I also don’t enjoy drinking. Alcohol tastes utterly vile and I’ve never understood why I would want a chemical high.