2941

I have a lot of trouble believing this. I can see them liking the guy, admiring him for knitting, but sexy? No.

2942

Sit there knitting a banana hammock and try not to look sexy.

Troy

2943

I gave up trying to figure out what women consider sexy years ago, after a woman told me that there was nothing hotter than watching a nude man do dishes. The ladies seem to be working with a much broader range of what constitutes “sexy” than men.

I have no trouble believing there exists in this world women who could consider it HAWT to have a man knit with them.

Though in their knitting fantasies he probably looks a lot like Brad Pitt.

2944

There’s a line of books called something like “Porn for Women”: hunky, scantily clad men offering to do household chores and stuff like that.

2945

It’s proof that the guy’s already been domesticated. Domesticated himself, in fact. He’s completely abandoned his masculine instincts in an attempt to woo women.

2946

I will say this, my parents met in a Methodist church and neither of them were (ever) Christian. They each just went to church because in the fifties, that’s where you met people that were ‘nice’. They stopped going to church shortly after they started dating. Nothing wrong with going somewhere to meet someone of the gender you are interested in just to meet someone of the gender you are interested in. You don’t have to be the best kickballer, or own a ton of board games or be able to play poker or tennis. Just look like you are interested and check the place out.

2947

You care a lot more about looking ridiculous than anyone else does. Everyone else is too busy living their lives to notice.

I know plenty of ugly and clumsy confident people. It sounds more like you’re equating confidence with being an asshole.

2948

I overlooked this response earlier. In short, (1) what Gourmand said, and (2) it really is a state of mind thing, where you just don’t give a shit if you get shot down. And you will get shot down, plenty. God knows I do. Hell, I got shot down by a girl I was pretty interested in last Friday night. You can either let those losses consume you and prevent you from talking to the next girl, or you can get to a place where you just don’t give a shit. “Next!”

As another buddy of mine puts it, 99% of the women in the world do not want to fuck you. But 1% do. And 1% times the number of women in the world is a big, big number.

2949

So, I had a good time with the new girl from POF. We had agreed to have dinner at a sushi restaurant, which she picked. So I show up early, and it’s closed. The sign says Tuesday to Sunday. Great. It’s cold, and she’s not there, so I figure I’ll go browse the bookstore around the corner. It’s closed too. I fucking hate this town sometimes. So I stand in the doorway for about five minutes until she shows up. Apparently she walked by earlier too, saw it was closed, and went to Starbucks. Too bad I didn’t have the same thought.

Anyway, we start talking while we walk to the one sushi restaurant I’m confident is open, even on a Monday. She just came back to Victoria at the beginning of the month after being away for seven years. She’s teaching a class at the university, which is why her pictures aren’t public. She doesn’t want her students to see her profile and undermine her already tenuous authority. We kept talking while we had dinner, and drank about a gallon of tea, until the waiter finally just brought the check without us asking, which we took to mean “get the fuck out so we can close”.

She’s not knock-my-socks-off hot, but she’s pretty cute and most importantly she can carry on a conversation. It just sort of flowed, with only one or two pauses, like with friends I’ve known for years. Unlike my previous dates, I actually want to see her again. And not just because I’m hopeful a second date will be better, but because she’s just fun to hang out with, even if it goes no further than that.

Oh, and maybe the best part: she asked me if I had seen The Wire.

So, based on my sample of three, I have determined that the quality of my dates is improving linearly. I figure in two or three more first dates we’ll be ripping each other’s clothes off in the restaurant.

Also, when I got home she messaged me again, which was not unexpected. What was unexpected was that another woman I had messaged about a week and a half ago also replied. This one ignored the part of my message where I asked her out, though. If she ignores that part of my reply again, I’ll assume she’s just looking to be entertained and stop asking. Which I’m fine with, honestly. I mean, that’s why I post here after all.

2950

I have a date lined up for Wednesday night, thanks to OKCupid! She’s a local sex columnist who also happens to have been interviewed by Playboy! At first, I got the vibe from her that she wasn’t really interested, but then about a week later I get an email from her out of the blue! She’s sorta out of my league, but we’ve been some pretty good conversations online so it’s getting more promising every day. I’m usually nervous about first dates when I’ve conversed with them for a while due to lack of things to talk about it, but I’m really confident that it’ll go well. I’ll try and report back on Thursday with updates.

2951

Oh, jesus. Teledyne, you’ve got a date with Violet Blue. This is going to go SO badly. Keep us posted, but you’d be better off bailing hard and fast: seriously, this is all going to end in tears.

2952

Actually, guys who knit are proving that they’re open-minded, don’t believe in limiting themselves to what society sees as male behavior, and are very creative. You guys also don’t realize that most knitters these days aren’t “domesticated.” For us, knitting is an art form. My group of knitting friends are into punk music, microbrews, vintage clothes, zombie movies, multi-colored hair… We’re don’t fit the knitting stereotype at all. Most younger knitters don’t. So guys who get where we’re coming from with our knitting are supremely cool. So yes, guys who knit are hot. And don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

2953

You know, I wouldn’t object to learning how to knit. I don’t mind knowing how to make things. And I concur - most of the women that I have known who actually know how to knit have been from the punk rock side of the track. I suppose it kind of makes sense - knitting these days is sort of counter-culture? Maybe? The problem, of course, is that I already have a bunch of crap sitting around my house that I don’t do anything with and this would just be another thing I would eventually forget to do, but I would be interested at least long enough to figure out how the practice works and strike up a conversation. Perhaps I will join a knitting circle. In fact, a friend that I JUST met through OkCupid about a month ago precisely fits the mold that Jane is describing. Perhaps she knows a group.

Also, if you were knitting a banana hammock I would think that would imply that you’ve lost pretty much all sensation in your genitals. Doesn’t most knitting involve wool yarn? Wool underpants. Yeegh.

2954

Besides, guys who can knit can make themselves one of these comfy dealies.

Nothing better than a nice toasty cock-n-balls.

2955

(This parallels some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten: to meet women, you need to really, seriously, deep down not care if you meet women. Also zen. Also true.)

This sounds like we’re heading into ‘pick up artist’ territory.

As another buddy of mine puts it, 99% of the women in the world do not want to fuck you. But 1% do. And 1% times the number of women in the world is a big, big number.

What else does your buddy who makes up random percentages and facts think?

2956

Good wool is very soft, so it wouldn’t itch. However, any wool that isn’t superwash will felt. and you don’t want wool felting to your pubic hair when you sweat. Ugh.

(Superwash wool has been treated so that it doesn’t felt. Most sock yarns are superwash so that you can throw your handmade socks in the washing machine. And I suppose you could make a banana hammock with it. I wouldn’t want to, though. It just seems… wrong.)

Brian, you should absolutely look into knitting groups. Let me know if you go to one!

2957

Is it really Violet Blue? I followed Crypt’s link and found that she wrote this book: “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-On Sex.”

Please give us a full report!

2958

Is it really Violet Blue?

If it’s her, I really hope we get a full report.

2959

As much as I’d love to get details of Teledyne’s coring, he doesn’t want to date Violet Blue. The girl’s a total disaster.

Heck, why would you want to date a sex columnist ANYWAY? Best case scenario: she shows you a good time, then moves on. But the worst case scenario is the stuff nightmares are made of: she writes up each and every one of your sexual failings in depth in a column.

2960

That doesn’t sound like a disaster, that sounds like good feedback. Something that is mighty hard to get from women I’ve found.

Unless you are positing a scenario where she writes up the disaster in conjunction with teledyne’s real name. That would be a little upsetting.