Hunty
2961
Crazy Jane’s right. All the things a Stepford Wife would do in the fifties are now actually pretty cool. Arguably too cool, as they tend to be filled with toothpick-waisted tryhards with lego haircuts. My girlfriend is 23 and goes to the Women’s Institute (traditional habitat of tweedy middle-aged, middle England housewives) with her girly friends - it takes place at a local art college and is filled with all kinds of twenty-somethings doing knitting, basket-weaving and the like, with only the barest dusting of irony. It also means I get some ace jam.
I can’t go to a market on Sunday without stumbling across guys in tiny jeans or emaciated Dita Von Teese-alikes trying to get me to go to “Urban” Cross-stitch, or play the ukelele, or whatever. Rationbook chic. Whilst this is annoying, I definitely think that unusual activities can yield up some interesting, attractive people, and definitely shouldn’t be dismissed as unmanly or fogeyish as long they’re something you enjoy. That said, I met my girlfriend more by luck than judgement; stumbling drunkenly upon her in a club made entirely of sweat, dry ice and alcopops. The scattergun approach, and not the most auspicious start for four-year relationship, but there you go. Ludicrously lucky in hindsight. I kind of wish I had met her abseiling down a wall we had to construct out of gingerbread or whatever, but I’m just happy I managed to at all.
The Violet Blue thing is amazing. Play that right and even if it’s a disaster there’s lots of free drink potential there just from the anecdotes.
DrCrypt
2962
"Good feedback is one thing, but I doubt any of us would like it if a girl never called us up again after sleeping with us, then wrote up her experience fucking us for the enjoyment of tens of thousands of people.
Anyway, Violet Blue is a disaster for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with her just being a sex columnist. If Teledyne is going on a date with her, as much as I hate shouting “ACHTUNG!” before he goes on a date with a girl he’s excited about, he should really be careful, especially if he’s sensitive or prone to getting attached.
I would think that you would prefer to receive good feedback during the act. Or at least with the intention of then applying the things that you’ve learned to future practice with the individual providing the advice. I’m not sure a woman who screws and writes about it for a living would best characterize the demographic that most of us are marketing to.
Hunty
2964
Sound advice. Although now I’m just giggling at the various inappropriate uses of ACHTUNG available in context. Also “the column”, which I assume doubles as the name of one of her more adventurous implements.
Kalle
2965
Awesome. And I mean that in the worst kind of trainwreck way.
I’ve read her column, and she comes across as joyless and snide…a “sex scenester,” if you will.
Once she wrote a column snarkily criticizing straight male porn stars for claiming to be straight, because when they’re double-penetrating a woman they derive pleasure from their penises rubbing together. I’m not joking.
[EDIT] SEE BELOW
ElGuapo
2967
What a lunatic. You should go out with her.
Shadarr
2968
For the good of the forum!
OK, I’ve got to eat crow on this one. I conflated two columns by two different sex columnists.
The one Violet Blue wrote was not questioning the orientation of straight porn actors, but of “gay for pay” ones. I read it from a link in a later column decrying “bisexual fakery,” though I’m still not sure I understand what she was arguing in that column.
Griddle
2972
It’s not gay unless the balls touch…
Absolutely. My wife is an avid knitter, and she makes me all sorts of socks, hand warmers (fingerless gloves), etc. They are all made out of wool (Merino, often), and it’s not scratchy at all. Recently, she made me some freakin cashmere socks. I’m scared to wear something that expensive.
Oh, and she made XPav a space invaders hate and a lump of coal (see Santa thread).
If I didn’t have other hobbies, I would probably knit. It seems pretty cool, actually.
Just because “pickup artists” have co-opted something doesn’t mean it was their idea or that the idea is invalid.
Other good takeaways from what I’ve read in PUA materials around the web (yeah, I’ll read anything): the three-second rule (see earlier in thread – as the Governator put it, "he who hesitates…), the false time constraint (“hey, quick question…”), and the need to initiate physical contact early (don’t be a perv, I’m talking about little stuff like touching her forearm when it’s your turn to talk in the conversation).
No one’s pretending it’s a legit statistic. It’s just illustrating a point: in a randomly selected group of women, almost all of them will not be interested in you romantically. But odds are good that if the population size is big enough, a few of them will be. Multiply that times the number of women in the world, and suddenly rejection is just a bump in the road – a tree in a forest of big picture.
I’m sorry to disappoint, but it’s not Violet Blue, nor is it Regina Lynn (she was a columnist for Wired Mag). I’m sure Violet Blue wouldn’t be using OKCupid as a dating tool. She probably has lots of tools in her tacklebox that are much more effective. And scary.
This woman is a couple years younger than I (I’m 25) so I guess you could say she’s an up-and-comer in the sex columnist scene.
Shadarr
2978
Be sure to give her some good material then!
Shadarr
2979
It looks like the New Years Resolution drought is over, and I may even end up going on two dates next week, if I can fit them in my schedule. And I may also end up showing both of them how to cut a condom into a square for use as a dental dam for oral sex.
The other new girl from POF, who I will henceforth refer to as “the nurse” because she’s a nurse, finally made a serious statement about meeting after I get back. Previously she had ignored or dodged my asking, and made joking comments about coming with me to Seattle or going to Cuba for a first date, but in her last message she quit joking, told me her name asked if I’d rather do coffee or stand-up comedy. So maybe all the previous back and forth was a test, which I presumably passed.
Perhaps due to my awesome sex ed teachering. I swear, every woman I’ve mentioned that to has perked up like a retriever watching a ball. My friend said she wants me to read to her from the manual, and the woman I went out with yesterday (who I shall henceforth refer to as “the lawyer”) wants me to bring the manual on our next date. Although, both of them were like retrievers who couldn’t find their ball when I told them I was reading the section on child abuse and date rape.
DrCrypt
2980
Regina Lynn is actually pretty rad in my experience working with Wired, since she’s a more educational sex columnist than a gossipy one. Glad to hear it’s not Violet Blue, though.
I talked this over with my girlfriend last night, and we basically decided that if one were to date a sex columnist, the only relationships that wouldn’t end in tears would be the more educational columnists, while as the entire generation of horrible female sex columnists inspired by “Sex in the City” should be avoided at all costs.
