When a woman goes on about her kid in a profile, it’s a way of saying how important that child is. You can’t date a single mom and expect her to put you ahead of her child even for an evening. That child’s needs will always come before yours. And that’s as it should be, presumably because you’re an adult and you understand and have patience and realize you will get your turn too.
OTOH, if the single mom has a good custody sharing relationship with her ex, that might be a nice dating relationship. You are guaranteed some time alone with her but you are also guaranteed some time to yourself too.
But yeah, you date a single mom, whether she goes on about the kid in her profile or not, and you are going to be down the list a ways with her.
Lorini
3022
Naturally this depends on the age. I expect my 18 year old to accommodate my date, not the other way around.
Dean
3023
And ya gotta remember, with a single mom, ya can’t shoplift the pootie. Y’know?
teledyne is a champion beer-holder.
And a 96% match with me - heeeey.
Of course, and even if he or she is down with the flu, you can still go out. An 18 year old is a young adult.
I think dating is difficult for a single parent with a small child at home. I’ve talked to women who have dealt with it and it’s often difficult for them to sustain a relationship because they simply have trouble giving enough attention to the relationship.
teledyne is an 85% match for me but I live too far away according to his criteria. Plus the whole me-not-being-female thing.
Speaking of which, that brings to mind someone recently contacting me on OKC. I check his profile and he’s listed as 27 and straight. I inform him that we would probably not be a good match given that whole me-not-being-a-female thing again – and that’s ignoring the not-insignificant age difference. Can I really connect with someone who can’t understand why Xanadu was supposed to be so big and so wasn’t? It turns out he’s a huge closet case. That is great.
In the other direction I get a “wink” on OKC from a guy last week and I check his profile. He’s 66 years old, which means he’d be relating to Oliver instead of Xanadu. This is not an improvement.
A guy on POF thanked me for looking at his profile (I actually clicked on his photo from the bunch of random photos that horribly laid-out site presents because it had somehow survived POF’s image destruction process and I thought perhaps magick may have been involved). We went on to exchange a few messages back and forth and in the most recent one he described himself as an “east end dad” which can be interpreted several ways, neither of which lights up my Christmas tree, if you know what I mean. His messages have a non-committal vibe to them that suggests he’s just having some pleasant conversation, so I’m content to just treat it as such and nothing more.
In the tangible actual-meeting-people world I have gone out twice with BG (Bronchitis Guy) and we’ve had a pleasant enough time together. He is intelligent and attractive but rather quiet. This wouldn’t normally be an issue but I am rather quiet myself. When two quiet people meet you don’t hear a lot. I am often carrying the conversation, which he seems content with, but I am not fond of being the one doing most of the talking. It’s not my style, though I guess it’s slowly becoming my style. :P
Jafisob
3027
True.
Ironically being a single Dad, you often do not get any empathy from the woman you date, not even single moms. Because, you know, the princess complex. You must be Prince Charming, give chase, and give your full attention to the woman no matter what else you have going on. You are there to make her life easier and rescue her (especially is she is a harried single mom), you are Prince Charming after all.
And if you date a woman who has never had kids, they often don’t understand.
Ned, how common are closet cases, in your experience?
I suppose when you’re looking to date, they’re not as much of an issue.
Not very common from what I’ve seen. There are profiles that use code words like “discreet”, “curious” or other language that denotes a closet case but they are a minority in my experience.
EDIT: Another phishing* attempt arrived in my inbox today on one site. The attempt is…less than sophisticated.
- technically this isn’t phishing since it’s just an attempt to get a valid e-mail address to spam. The phishing would presumably come later.
When did you become the cynic Ned?
89% for me, but only 65% as a friend. Huh. Like Ned, though, I’m too far away and not a lady.
I only have an account for quiz purposes, anyway.
To what do you refer, good sir?
Dude! Your outright dismissal of awesome tony.
Yeah, I know, I probably should not be so quick to judge. How can I condemn someone with the plaintive wish to “Let Give love a chance to swallow us up”? It’s like love is a giant sperm whale and we’re just plankton waiting to be skimmed through the baleen. Er, wait, I’ve got the wrong kind of whale. Sperm whales eat giant squid or at least wrestle them for bragging rights (“I’m King of the Ocean!”), so make that the majestic blue whale. That works even better because the blue whale is the biggest animal evar and love is just as big. So I offer my apologies to Gay Tony, who only wants to “know you better and get something good between us”. I, too, shall try to follow his path of being cool, humble, open minded, loving, caring, passionate, understanding, down to earth guy, with a full sense of humor.
Also last night I tried sending a message to someone only to discover I had been preemptively blocked. I boggled a bit at that because all I had done was view his profile. Mostly I was annoyed because the system didn’t tell me I was blocked until after I had lovingly handcrafted the message I was going to send.
People are weird.
Shadarr
3036
I don’t think I’ve ever been blocked, unless blocking looks the same as “profile deleted” on OKC. And I flame the fuck out of people in the journals periodically.
Siren
3037
Speaking of strange messages, I got this one on OkCupid last night:
ARE WE 2 MINDS IN SEARCH OF 1 HEART?
Have you kissed too many frogs to find your true love?
Have you whispered prayers to the heavens above?
Although for the moment I know not who you are,
I dream we meet nightly under a blanket of stars.
We play the game of love and shoot our little darts,
We are but two minds searching to be of just one heart.
You may think I jest, or dare say I would fib to thee,
But a chivalrous officer and gentleman is all I can be.
What have you to lose, I have a money back guarantee,
Why not give love a chance, and get to know little o’ me!
All you need do is reply to say, “Hello, how do you do?”
How else are we to know if ‘You’ and I can make two.
Hi,
The poem is my own, it is not a copy and paste. I saw your profile and really like what I read, and at the same time I thought, “There just has to be so much more to you than this.” I would certainly love a chance to find just how much more to you that I am missing…so the next move is yours. Please reply and we can see where this all goes. My email and IM chat ID is email@redacted.com.
Cheers,
Patrick
Thank you, Patrick, for the early morning LOL.
Griddle
3038
Oh boy, that guy sounds like a real ham, you should try and provoke more responses, it could be really entertaining. I LOVE YOU PATRICK!!!
Lorini
3039
Unless someone mentions something specific in my profile, I don’t respond. Perhaps I’m cutting off too many people, but I just get the feeling that these guys send these responses to everyone they have access to.
You do realise that’s Patrick Stewart you’ve just blown off?
At least I have his email address now.
