That Internet dating thing

[Hans_Lauring]

That is reasonable if and only if you actually include interesting things in your profile. I am not a professional comedian. I do not climb on stage every night and perform humorous monologues about the subjects relevant to your interests. The part that’s annoying isn’t the people who write stuff that’s actually interesting - it’s the people who write four paragraphs total about how they love to “go out” and “have fun.” Sites need to appoint a referee to read every profile and make individualized calls as to whether you can be afforded the right to disregard a message because it’s not personal enough on the basis of how much actual personality you’ve demonstrated. If I like the way you look and I want to start a conversation and you give me nothing, I mean, cut me some slack here.

I just wanted to respond to this. Theres a Danish site called EliteDaters that does this. It’s dating for people with a higher education (not to be confused with the other Danish site BeautifulPeople, who’ll exclude anyone not voted attractive by members) and apparently they have people reading profiles and sending off letters warning people with too short, too generic or too cliché profiles, that if they don’t shape up and write something better, they’ll be excluded.

I’ve never tried online dating so I have no idea of how either site is to use.

[Griddle]

I just wanted to respond to this. Theres a Danish site called EliteDaters that does this. It’s dating for people with a higher education (not to be confused with the other Danish site BeautifulPeople, who’ll exclude anyone not voted attractive by members) and apparently they have people reading profiles and sending off letters warning people with too short, too generic or too cliché profiles, that if they don’t shape up and write something better, they’ll be excluded.

I’ve never tried online dating so I have no idea of how either site is to use.

Not to be a dick, but that place sounds like the line in the Apple Store. It’s nice to date someone different than you, having two elitest dicks around could be really caustic and annoying.

[Mysterio]

The woman who writes this:

http://citygirlblogs.com/ (nsfw words in there)

… is a personal friend of mine. Let me know if you want me to hook you up so that you can talk about relationships. She likes the same kind of sports cars you do.

Reading her The Art of Staying Down (aka my oral sex musings) blog reminded me of Joe Rogan’s I’m Gonna Be Dead Someday… CD. If you’ve never listened to it and are not easily offended, do yourself a favor and pick it up. His take on male and female oral sex is hysterical. It’s perhaps the funniest CD I’ve ever owned.

[balut]

I just wanted to respond to this. Theres a Danish site called EliteDaters that does this. It’s dating for people with a higher education (not to be confused with the other Danish site BeautifulPeople, who’ll exclude anyone not voted attractive by members) and apparently they have people reading profiles and sending off letters warning people with too short, too generic or too cliché profiles, that if they don’t shape up and write something better, they’ll be excluded.

I’ve never tried online dating so I have no idea of how either site is to use.

Not to be a dick, but that place sounds like the line in the Apple Store. It’s nice to date someone different than you, having two elitest dicks around could be really caustic and annoying.

I gotta agree with Griddle here. That site sounds like it could be a breeding ground for insufferably uptight snobs. Like the membership consists of people that run Home Owners Associations.

[Brian_Seiler]

I dunno - a site where you have to apply for approval from the governing board before implementing any changes to your visible landscaping might be hilarious. To watch, anyway.

[JM1]

Sounds like Elitist Jerks for dating. Can you get infractions for asking a girl a question she clearly already answers on her profile?

[Griddle]

Like the membership consists of people that run Home Owners Associations.

This made me audibly make a snert noise. ;)

[Shadarr]

PlentyOfFish is now giving me a bright red warning message every time I send a message that they won’t show my profile to anyone until I fill in my Income. And I’m like okay, I guess I don’t need to figure out how to hide my profile now. Thanks!

They claim they won’t show the information, they’ll just use it in their magical matching algorithm. It still seems kind of douchey though, like how they silently don’t show men any women who are taller than they are.

[Brian_Seiler]

That at least makes more sense to me from a social norms point of view. I don’t get it - I personally don’t give a crap as long as my head comes up to somewhere over my intended’s breasts, because otherwise things could get a little awkward (and hot), and that’s not usually a problem, but you see a lot of women who are six feet tall or over complaining about how they only want to go out with dudes who are taller than them. I remember when I used to be average height - when did sasquatch enter the breeding pool?

But income - what if I WANT to be a kept man? They didn’t think of that, now did they? Maybe I’m too weird for the internet. I think that means that I should turn myself in to the nearest zoo or something.

[Griddle]

PlentyOfFish is now giving me a bright red warning message every time I send a message that they won’t show my profile to anyone until I fill in my Income. And I’m like okay, I guess I don’t need to figure out how to hide my profile now. Thanks!

They claim they won’t show the information, they’ll just use it in their magical matching algorithm. It still seems kind of douchey though, like how they silently don’t show men any women who are taller than they are.

Woah, that is pretty douchalicious. I personally wouldn’t care how much someone made, as long as we gelled.

[Hans_Lauring]

I gotta agree with Griddle here. That site sounds like it could be a breeding ground for insufferably uptight snobs. Like the membership consists of people that run Home Owners Associations.

It’s not my place. I just wanted to point out it existed. Although I am an elitist, I couldn’t be with somebody stupid… but I know brilliant people with no formal schooling and met some right idiots at university (Jose Liz graduated, didn’t he?)…
I don’t even know if the site’s a success or have many members.

[Shadarr]

Woah, that is pretty douchalicious. I personally wouldn’t care how much someone made, as long as we gelled.

No kidding. I leave that field blank on purpose.

[Andrew]

I don’t get it - I personally don’t give a crap as long as my head comes up to somewhere over my intended’s breasts,

Woah, that is pretty douchalicious. I personally wouldn’t care how much someone made, as long as we gelled.

Yeah, well, at least from a stereotypical perspective, these are both things that women are likely to care about more than a man, so it isn’t surprising that neither of you care about height or income of your potential partners. I don’t know about the income thing, but I can say that anecdotally that my female friends generally really prefer tall men, even the short ones.

[Griddle]

Yeah, well, at least from a stereotypical perspective, these are both things that women are likely to care about more than a man, so it isn’t surprising that neither of you care about height or income of your potential partners. I don’t know about the income thing, but I can say that anecdotally that my female friends generally really prefer tall men, even the short ones.

Yeah, I was chatting with my Ex-Wife the other day, I’m about 5’10", and she was saying she liked tall guys. So apparently a 4’8" woman needs a 6’+ tall guy, odd. That, and I make about 2k less than her, and she wanted to meet a guy that made decent money.

Insane shit, so apparently I’m short, and poor. I’m glad I got out of that relationship, I absolutely have zero tolerance for superficial shit like that.

[WarrenM]

My wife is absolutely against dating anyone shorter than she is. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing taught to her or it’s something she arrived at on her own, but she hates it when girls date guys who are shorter than they are.

I’m lucky that I’m 6’5". :)

As for the money thing … well, there’s a security that comes from finding a man who makes a good living. It’s not necessarily a superficial thing but if the woman isn’t making that much, why would she want to hook up with a guy making the same or less than her? I know that’s probably not going to be a popular comment but it’s at least honest - women like feeling secure financially and therefore would likely prefer a guy who makes more than them.

[TheTrunkDr]

My wife is absolutely against dating anyone shorter than she is. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing taught to her or it’s something she arrived at on her own, but she hates it when girls date guys who are shorter than they are.

I’m lucky that I’m 6’5". :)

As for the money thing … well, there’s a security that comes from finding a man who makes a good living. It’s not necessarily a superficial thing but if the woman isn’t making that much, why would she want to hook up with a guy making the same or less than her? I know that’s probably not going to be a popular comment but it’s at least honest - women like feeling secure financially and therefore would likely prefer a guy who makes more than them.

These are fine issues for individuals, the question is why is the site forcing these on it’s members when the members are perfectly capable of filtering them on their own?

[WarrenM]

These are fine issues for individuals, the question is why is the site forcing these on it’s members when the members are perfectly capable of filtering them on their own?

Oh, I agree with that, definitely. Search results are generally thin enough, don’t exclude people on me!

[Shadarr]

Exactly. If you want to filter for a certain height range, or body type, or anything else you care about, you can. The douchiness is the fact I don’t see any tall women in the default views and they don’t mention that they’re doing this anywhere.

My new girlfriend is pretty much the perfect height (~2 inches shorter) but that wasn’t a primary factor at any point. What if she’d been half an inch taller than me? I would never have even seen her profile.

[Sam_Jones]

I don’t know about the income thing, but I can say that anecdotally that my female friends generally really prefer tall men, even the short ones.

Short men often have attitude problems, or try to overcompensate. They’re also at risk of contracting Glenn Danzig Syndrome, characterised by a painful and embarrassing swelling of muscle tissue.

[Kael]

As for the money thing … well, there’s a security that comes from finding a man who makes a good living. It’s not necessarily a superficial thing but if the woman isn’t making that much, why would she want to hook up with a guy making the same or less than her? I know that’s probably not going to be a popular comment but it’s at least honest - women like feeling secure financially and therefore would likely prefer a guy who makes more than them.

I think a large part of isnt so much the money as wanting to be proud of him. Guys are drawn to beautiful women partly because of what their beauty says about us (that we can capture a beautiful woman). It feeds our inner insecurity.

For women being proud of man is a lot about what he does for a living. If he is successful financially thats one way to do it. But women are also drawn to men in fields that arent very profitable but gives them something to be proud of such as artists, musicians, firemen, etc (as long as its masculine). In fact these jobs are often more desireable than higher paying ones. When their friends ask what their boyfirend does women just want to be able to give a good answer.