If there’s a connection, why would you spend more time than necessary continuing to chat online? That’s really all I’m saying. How you define ‘necessary’ is a whole other thing, of course.
I’m not suggesting this:
Me: Hi. I like your profile. Let’s meet for coffee tomorrow, OK?
Him: Hi. I like your profile, too, but I can’t meet so soon, sorry.
Me: Well, FORGET IT. I’m done wasting my time with you! [metaphorical slamming of door]
A week or so of messaging isn’t long at all, so maybe that’s where our perspectives seem to be differ. This guy and I had been chatting back and forth for over a month before he vanished. It’s not a big deal, since it’s just a couple of minutes here and there to compose a message, but it’s still energy and effort that could have been spent elsewhere if I had known sooner that he didn’t want to meet.
But perhaps he has been eaten by a moose. Maybe he’ll suddenly write tomorrow and propose marriage! Who knows?
A few emails and if there’s still interest, why not meet? What’s the alternative? Continuing to email? I can tell you that continuing to email and talk on the phone is no guarantee you will want to see someone beyond a first meeting, no matter how much you seem to click via email, chatting, and phone calls.
I think the real conventional wisdom is that you never really know about another person until you have a physical meeting. That’s the real first step.
I’ll second that. I’d want to skip the online stuff as soon as possible so I could meet the person, as it’s quite common for online personalities and face-to-face personalities to vary greatly. I’m actually a really sweet, loving, tender guy in real life but online I crush puppies with with my wheelie bin and lawnmower my neighbour’s flower bed.
WarrenM
3304
Yeah, I would say that a few messages back and forth first is a good thing - make sure you have something to talk about when you finally do meet. But don’t let it drag on for weeks. Get some face time in as soon as you feel that you are interested.
Lorini
3306
Back in the day, you just met. I’m not sure how much messaging is adding to anything, particularly if they already have a full profile.
I know you appreciate it all the same.
Of the day’s annoyances, these:
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People who list themselves on sites as “Single” but in their profiles say “I’m actually in a relationship, I just keep this profile for the quizzes and tests!” STOP THROWING OFF MY SEARCH RESULTS, ASSCLOWN.
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Same for people listed as “Single” but in their profile explain “I’m in an open relationship” – there’s a category for “In a relationship”, you toolbox! Use it!
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There needs to be a filter to exclude the “MySpace angle” and “duckface” photos from searches. Seriously. Automatic disqualifier.
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On the upside, I seem to have been talked into a local Meetup group for area singles, so that’s potentially nice. So long as I can keep from overanalyzing myself into a panic attack beforehand.
WarrenM
3309
- There needs to be a filter to exclude the “MySpace angle” and “duckface” photos from searches. Seriously. Automatic disqualifier.
There was an article linked earlier that said that the MySpace angle is one of the highest response generators - so don’t hold your breath.
I hate people, I really do.
One of these days I need to remember to read that article when I am not at work (not comfortable going to the dating site that I frequent at work…that way lies disaster). I wonder how far off their results are skewed because that’s the only goddamn photo anybody puts up. Well, that or an entirely useless picture of her with her hotter friends. At this point, I’m forced to conclude that anybody who doesn’t have a MySpace photo is clearly a robot. My experiences have born that fact out. When 90% of your sample size has one aberrant feature and 75% of total responses sent are to those individuals, if you don’t know how statistics work, you might think that said aberrant feature was useful in compelling responses.
JoshV
3312
duckface? Are they trying to make their face look like a duck? Or are they hiding their face in their photos?
Weirdly enough, I know the founder of that site.
Does facebook hookups … through your parents count? Ugh.
For the last several months I’ve had no social life, it’s like I moved into a new city without time to meet anyone. And then… my mother decides that this girl she knows and I should meet… She tells me to look her up and message her on Facebook, which is why this goes in the internet dating thread.
She’s cute, she’s very cute, and an RN so I decided to contact her, my first salvo is off
"This feels a bit silly, I’ve never just contacted someone on Facebook out of the blue like this but when someone, REDACTED, grabs you and points you at someone saying that you really need to meet this fun, energetic person that… really likes the movie Ms. Congeniality? Well what else can you say but, “…sure”?
Anyway I was wondering if you’d like to talk a little on Facebook or go out for coffee sometime."
The Ms. Congeniality thing is because REDACTED
REDACTED
Change a heart about sharing that piece of info
What, no Facebook link to her profile? Very disappointing…
You can guess a bit and google it =P it shouldn’t be too hard to guess. Her facebook page is the 6th result in google, using the full name.
REDACTED
Change a heart about sharing that piece of info
