You didn’t expect to fall in love with OKCupid, did you? Love springs up in the most unexpected ways!
Excellent! If you’re going anywhere other than coffee, presumably you’re setting up the usual. Fixed-time checks with pass-phrases?
Three dates is a secure, longterm relationship? Jesus.
The “In my mind, that is” part kinda tipped off that he was being a bit facetious.
robsam
3605
I was about to say the same thing. frowns at Robert
Two dates next week! One of them just hanging out at her house “to figure out where to go”, yeah-huh. The other is watching one of the Discworld movies at her place. Different girls, that is.
Paranoid as I am, nonce’d rape checks will be in place and firmly adhered to. I’m sure they’ll understand. Also, is it creepy that I checked their IP out, got their address, cross-checked that against public information to make sure it was that person? This, they might not understand quite as much. Must remember to not call her by her last name unless she tells me it…
Yeah, I got that part, but even so. That’s a sad commentary on his situation, and perhaps the state of online and/or gay dating.
JM1
3608
It was a self-deprecating joke. Don’t read so much into it.
True true. But in light of the other posts Ned has put in this thread, you can see that he’s been having a rough time of this whole dating thing lately. Actually, I think you guys are taking me a lot more seriously than you should here too. When someone makes a self-deprecating comment, it’s ok to agree with him still, right?
JM1
3610
Your posts do come across as being very serious!
Ned’s not having much luck, but he’s the most balanced person in this thread I think.
Oh, I thought you were seriously concerned about it/upset about it! Forget I said anything. Ned, keep fucking that chicken, man.
Yeck, that sounds terrible in this specific situation.
If you define luck as “finding a longterm relationship” then yeah, my luck with online dating has been terrible. We’re talking booking a trip on the Titanic here. But while that longterm relationship is my ultimate goal, I certainly wouldn’t consider the past year to be a failure for me, dating-wise, and I’m not down in the dumps about it.
In the past year of dating I have:
- met a lot of people, some quirky, some dull, some interesting but flawed
- become a lot more bold in my social interactions (I am pretty shy by nature)
- made one really good friend
- learned what I want, what I don’t like and what I simply won’t put up with
- become adept at reading warning signs and heeding them
- finally mastered the awkward small talk of a first date (mostly)
- become more spontaneous
I’ve learned how much my nipples will tolerate.
And with the pivotal date #3 today with flamenco guy and dates lined up with at least three others, I am certainly not hurting when it comes to playing the odds.
I guess the most important thing for me at this point is the f-word. No, not that word, the one Tom hates – I’m having fun. Yes, I said it. Fun!
Without emotes, I’m horrid at tone. Perhaps if I hadn’t invoked the name of the Lord?
Agreed on Ned taking everything in stride. I would have given up after the nipple thing.
Zylon
3614
What on god’s green earth is a nonce’d rape check?
If it’s going to be a date at someone else’s house, I’ll arrange at least one call a few hours in. If I don’t answer, or when answering fail the nonce, my friend will immediately call the police and provide them with the name, phone number, and address of the person I’m meeting.
I’m paranoid, okay.
Also, I was tired when I wrote that, otherwise I wouldn’t have used those words.
Yeah, that’s pretty paranoid.
You should show up with a whistle around your neck and when your date asks about it, calmly state the following: “If you attempt to drug me, physically, mentally or emotionally abuse me or in any way attempt to cause me duress during our evening together, I will blow this whistle as long and as loudly as I can.” Then you can settle into drinks and some friendly chit chat, comforted in the knowledge that you are prepared!
As for me, flamenco guy and I confirmed that we will just be friends, a not unexpected development given the lack of frisson in previous get-togethers. Onward I go…
I don’t know, but a ‘nonce’ in England is a slang word for a paedophile, so that’s a combination of words I would really avoid.
What if the date is going better than expected and your rape-check arrives in the middle of consensual? What do you say, given that you have to answer it?
“Oh er…one moment, I have to get that. Yeah hi Dave. No I’m not getting raped. Yeah we’re getting along fine - in fact she’s agreeing with everything I say, as you can probably hear.”
And then how do you explain that you were on the phone to your nonce mate?
