That Internet dating thing

JM1 · 2010-03-29T05:43:41.000Z

I can’t stop giggling about this. Surely we’re destined for another episode of Brasseye, this time about the dangers of internet dating?

It was the last thing we wanted to happen

John_Merva · 2010-03-29T06:51:10.000Z

JM:

I can’t stop giggling about this. Surely we’re destined for another episode of Brasseye, this time about the dangers of internet dating?

It was the last thing we wanted to happen

It certainly makes sense, Noncesense.

AaronSofaer · 2010-03-29T07:46:04.000Z

GloriousMess:

What if the date is going better than expected and your rape-check arrives in the middle of consensual? What do you say, given that you have to answer it?

“Oh er…one moment, I have to get that. Yeah hi Dave. No I’m not getting raped. Yeah we’re getting along fine - in fact she’s agreeing with everything I say, as you can probably hear.”

Then sometime before he’s going to call but before consensual happens, I take ten seconds to text my friend and tell him “<nonce> all is well, don’t call”.

Seriously, I’ve gone on three dates thus far, and none of my dates has noticed. It’s been “One sec, got a phone call, mind if I make sure it’s not an emergency? Hi Chuckles, is this vitally important or can it wait? Ok, good.” And then hang up.

In that case, ‘vitally important’ was my nonce.

Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean I let it get in the way of enjoying the date, but between my parents constantly telling me how dangerous meeting people from the internet is and my own innate paranoia, I would be worrying about it at least while making/getting first impressions, and that would probably interfere with the whole date thing.

Cosmic_Hippo · 2010-03-29T07:46:54.000Z

Wait, so not only do you use a pass phrase, but it’s one that is different every time so as to avoid a replay attack?

Brian_Seiler · 2010-03-29T07:50:58.000Z

So, what I’m gathering from this strange turn here is that I should be very afraid that any potential female companion is going to rape me and, as such, notify several people as to my whereabouts and have at least one of them check in to confirm that I am not, in fact, in the process of being abused in some horrible way?

AaronSofaer · 2010-03-29T08:15:37.000Z

No, Brian, you should only be worried about that if you have paranoia issues. If you’re a normal, relatively sane person, you shouldn’t. :)

ElGuapo · 2010-03-29T08:29:53.000Z

Man, that’s weird, Aaron. This whole time I had the impression you were male.

BobJustBob · 2010-03-29T08:32:16.000Z

My friend’s father-in-law got bashed in the head by some woman he met on the internet. He suffered some permanent brain damage. Of course Aaron’s plan doesn’t protect against that.

Mightynute · 2010-03-29T08:40:56.000Z

BobJustBob:

My friend’s father-in-law got bashed in the head by some woman he met on the internet. He suffered some permanent brain damage. Of course Aaron’s plan doesn’t protect against that.

Well, most people would say “being a dude who’s not liable to be beaten up by a chick protects against that” - but that’s not considering the possibility that any woman you meet on the internet may be part of a two-person scam where she meets you, lures you into a private or semi-private situation, then has her larger compatriot wallop you over the head with a blunt object and abscond with your kidneys.

I mean, not saying that’s going to happen to Aaron. But it could…

ElGuapo · 2010-03-29T08:45:03.000Z

Oh my paranoid. Why leave a trail? Most women are perfectly capable of picking up guys in bars for that kind of scam and not going through all that hassle.

Unless she pre approves your credit and asks you to bring lots of cash on the date.

AaronSofaer · 2010-03-29T08:48:26.000Z

ElGuapo:

Man, that’s weird, Aaron. This whole time I had the impression you were male.

Even as sarcasm, totally unfunny. And if it’s not sarcasm, let me give you a shocking piece of information: Males get raped too, they’re just vanishingly unlikely to report it.

Mightynute: Paranoia’s not logical, it just surfaces in ways that seem logical or semi-logical. Also, being a shortish, slender guy who people quite often mistake for female in real life (I think it’s the hair), there’re plenty of women who can beat me up. :)

Mightynute · 2010-03-29T08:50:32.000Z

AaronSofaer:

Mightynute: Paranoia’s not logical, it just surfaces in ways that seem logical or semi-logical. Also, being a shortish, slender guy who people quite often mistake for female in real life (I think it’s the hair), there’re plenty of women who can beat me up. :)

Oh, I know. I was just giving you shit.

Maybe it’s a natural selection thing? Short skinny guys are unfit for future breeding, cull them from the herd!

AaronSofaer · 2010-03-29T08:54:17.000Z

There are also other factors involved which I don’t feel comfortable talking about somewhere people can find googling for my real name.

Brian_Seiler · 2010-03-29T08:54:58.000Z

Mightynute:

Maybe it’s a natural selection thing? Short skinny guys are unfit for future breeding, cull them from the herd!

I now demand that you justify Tom Cruise immediately.

Mightynute · 2010-03-29T08:57:16.000Z

Brian Seiler:

I now demand that you justify Tom Cruise immediately.

I think he’s done a great job putting together this website, doing two weekly podcasts, great voice of reason in the gaming community.

Andrew · 2010-03-29T09:15:29.000Z

AaronSofaer:

There are also other factors involved which I don’t feel comfortable talking about somewhere people can find googling for my real name.

Well, you’ve already given away your secret protocol. If somebody googles you and finds this, then they just have to wait until after you make a phone call to abscond with your kidney.

I’m also trying to come up with some bawdy way to reference a man in the middle attack, but am failing.

Creole_Ned · 2010-03-29T09:29:20.000Z

In less paranoid news, lunch guy thought he should let me know that he got back together with his ex. Good to know, as that tends to make the dating a bit awkward.

AaronSofaer · 2010-03-29T09:44:27.000Z

Andrew:

Well, you’ve already given away your secret protocol. If somebody googles you and finds this, then they just have to wait until after you make a phone call to abscond with your kidney.

I don’t worry about dates googling me; I worry about prospective employers doing it. Talking about video games and politics? Fine, not going to censor myself on those issues. Talking about the details of my sexual encounters and proclivities, or lack thereof, or attempts and explorations thereof? Not happening.

I’m also trying to come up with some bawdy way to reference a man in the middle attack, but am failing.

Really? You couldn’t come up with one? Even a threesome joke?

Andrew · 2010-03-29T10:00:11.000Z

AaronSofaer:

Really? You couldn’t come up with one? Even a threesome joke?

Yeah, that would seem like the direction to go, but nothing gelled.

John_Merva · 2010-03-29T13:08:01.000Z

Brian Seiler:

So, what I’m gathering from this strange turn here is that I should be very afraid that any potential female companion is going to rape me and, as such, notify several people as to my whereabouts and have at least one of them check in to confirm that I am not, in fact, in the process of being abused in some horrible way?

What if you’re actually enjoying the horrible abuse?