3661

That’s a completely different approach than the one I take now. After learning that most dates start and end with the first one, I no longer invest a lot of pre-date time to messaging back and forth over IM/e-mail or what have you because chances are you won’t click with the person when you finally meet, no matter how well things seemed to click online.

We’ve talked about this before, I know, but I wanted to throw in here that I came to that same strategy near the end of my internet dating period. Meet them as quickly as possible. Get the crazy or whatever out of the way immediately before you invest 2 weeks messaging back and forth only to find out that she’s totally not what you’re looking for.

3662

I think some of you haven’t seen Audition recently enough.

3663

Well, there is always starbucks and some shared headphones =P

3664

We agreed on a time for a first date (as it happens, this coming Thursday afternoon) a week ago, but kept talking to eachother. Probably would have had our date earlier if she weren’t busy and I wasn’t in the process of moving into my new apartment.

I also just genuinely enjoy talking to people, so our debate on the merits of the characters, story, gameplay, and music of Final Fantasies VI through VIII wasn’t exactly something that I approached with the resigned attitude of “Oh man, I’m going to have to slog through a WEEK of this before I get to meet her?”

3665

That’s why I said YMMV. If you’re enjoying your chats prior to meeting, that’s great. It’s just an approach I don’t use much anymore, myself.

3666

I don’t know, you kind of seem like a guy who is afraid of getting into a car accident so he wears a helmet while driving, but doesn’t wear a seatbelt.

3667

Seat belts laws are just another way the government tries to control you. If they want you to do something, chances are you’re safer if you don’t.

3668

I would be really really concerned if my son said he was going to some girl’s house by himself without having ever met the girl. This smells of set up all the way. So what if someone is going to call you, by that time you’ll already be deprived of your wallet (at least) if it is a set up. And it’s completely unnecessary, she can even meet you outside her house, at least it would be public.

3669

And I’ll see you, in the ER! Or probably not.

3670

This reminds me of a certain Seinfeld episode. :)

3671

But at least someone will know you’re missing within a relatively early time frame, which can make or break the difference between finding your body 3 years later, or finding you tied up in someone’s basement with half your skin removed.

3672

I am so registering noncecheck.com and making a website to automate this process.

3673

If the girl is a serial killer how does meeting her in a public place help? Do you all have super powers that allow you detect serial killers? (crap, and I only have the ability to detect invisibility)

No serial killer I know of relied on people coming to their house before meeting. Many drew people back to their house, though they met first in public places.

I dont think refusing to meet a single woman at her house for the first time is any more dangerous than anything else (ie: your more likely to die in the drive to her house than be killed in her house) unless you are allergic to cats.

3674

Actually, serial killers work a numbers game, when they get caught, alot of time women will step forward and be like, “Oh yeah, I remember him, he tried hitting on me at X, but he just gave off a creepy vibe.”

And most criminals are not that smart, or they wouldn’t need to resort to petty crime =)

3675

No, the girl would be a lure. She doesn’t have to even exist. If it is a set up, he’ll be let in and quickly stripped of his belongs.

Sorry, but this kind of stuff happens out here more often then you’d think. The bottom line is that they tell you to meet in public for a reason.

3676

I’m not exactly walking into the house blind. At a risk of going into creepy-stalker territory, just from someone’s cell number, you can confirm their name, which lets you cross-check for photographs online and the address.

So trivially, from publicly-available sources (which I learned to search when I worked at a non-profit, hurray!) I know for a fact that the girl exists, the pictures are of the girl, the girl’s location of residence is that address, and the phone is registered to her name.

Did I mention I was paranoid? I just try to not let it get in the way of going on dates or getting laid.

3677

When does it happen? To whom? I’ve never heard of it. Or do you think people don’t report it because it’s too embarrassing?

3678

You’ve never heard a story about a guy who got rolled by a hooker? It’s basically the same thing with a longer con to get people who wouldn’t hire a hooker.

3679

I will third this. Seriously, no matter how much time you spend messaging and on the phone, all the air can go out of the balloon when you finally meet in person. Therefore, if there’s mutual interest, go ahead and meet.

3680

Its the law of millions run amok. Yes such things have happened. In a world of 6 billion people lots of things of happened. But the chance of it happening is so close to 0 to make it effectively 0 (within the scope of our lifetimes).

But it isn’t a reasonable. For example, does anyone here know someone who was killed by a serial killer on a first date? No. We have stories, we have cautionary tales and Im certain it happened to someone somewhere (everything has). But it isn’t a reasonable fear.

Its still less likely than getting killed by your spouse on any given Tuesday, or getting killed on the drive to the first date (regardless of where it is).

I will say that if you are a young lady I wouldn’t meet a guy alone at his house on a first date. But that still isn’t to avoid meeting a serial killer, it’s to avoid date rape. Which is a reasonable concern (aka: we know people it has happened to) and a few public dates will give the girl a feel for the guys temperment.