3961

Yeah, if you meet someone you click with, it can happen through online or in person. There’s no wrong way to meet the right person.

I just grew weary of the online stuff. All those emails became so tiresome. And my god, some of the people you see online are so cynical and bitter!

3962

What if she’s thinking the same thing about you? I mean, are you interested? If so, call. Maybe it’ll be like a romantic comedy and go right to voicemail because she’s calling you at that very moment!

3963

Possibly. Maybe she’s on the fence. Maybe she’s not that interested. And maybe if you call again you two will have a nice talk and she will be more interested. There’s not always immediate interest or disinterest.

It’s no fun being shot down, but it’s even less fun sitting on the sidelines. If you are interested in her, why don’t you just call her and ask her out for a cup of coffee or an ice-cream somewhere? If she declines, at least you tried and you’ve put the period at the end of the sentence.

3964

Don’t call her, Mightynute. You’re not that into her and you’d just be leading her on.

3965

That is my opinion, yes. Now, if she calls me, that’s a sign of interest, which in turn makes her more interesting. It’s that weird “What do you find attractive in a woman?” “Reciprocity.” thing I’ve got going.

Besides, it’s not like I’m struggling for options. I’m no Guapo, but I’m certainly not extarbagging it here.

Edit: No offense meant to Mr. Bags - things turned out pretty satisfactory for him after all.

3966

A change of pace. Some time ago I was perusing OKCupid, and in fewer than 30 minutes I found so many nutty profiles that I decided to make fun of them and sent this around to a few friends. Here are actual excerpts:

“My friends all say that I am fun loving, out-going, playful but that I am also responable and modevated. Some of my favorite past times are going to the beach, playing tennis, horseback ridding. And one of my favorite things to do is feel the wind through my hair on the back of a bike. I also like the quiet time with that special person in getting to know them and seeing what happens as all good things take time if it’s met to be.”

Ack! I don’t think she and I are met to be! If only she were modevated about her spelling!

Some make no sense:

“If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain…hum hum hum…
I absolutely love Pina Coladas- getting caught in the rain can be ok- I’m thinking strongly about Yoga and I have a fully functioning brain (although, as researchers indicate probably not utilizing it to it’s full capacity)- hum hum hum…”

I was thinking strongly about responding to this one, but my brain wasn’t at full capacity!

Sometimes, I don’t even get up to the plate with these women:

“I’m kinda looking for a successful, independant, good humored, sociable, active, fun, affectionate man that is not a stalker, serial killer or controlling.”

I was so there with her until she got to the part about not wanting serial killers – darn!

Sometimes the profiles give out helpful hints that smart men can use to get in on a woman’s good side:

“I am adding this statement, because apparently, I must. Please do not contact me and turn on your webcam so I can see you masturbating…”

I am really glad I know not to do that in front of her now!

Sometimes you see someone you might want to bring to a picnic:

"What my friend says about me is “anybody can bring the green beans amadine to the neighborhood potluck, but it takes someone very special to bring the funk.”

So is the funk a casserole or a dessert? I can never remember!

Some women you just feel safe with:

“I like UFC, WWE, Spider-Man movies, martial arts, castles, and handguns. I’m 6’ tall, intelligent.”

I won’t be telling her she’s not intelligent anytime soon!

“I like sitting near bomb fires…”

I hope she enjoys sitting alone!

3967

You guys and your date problems all come down to boring date activities. Here, this might be helpful.

comic2-1723.png735×500

3968

Negatives are a big negative in profiles.

Which is to say, I can understand someone having bad experiences in the online dating scene and wanting to preemptively head them off in the future by putting what amounts to warnings in their profiles, as in the example above, but I don’t want to read about what you don’t like or the weirdos you’ve had to deal with, I want to read about you. Framing your profile in negative terms is a turn-off.

“I like sitting near bomb fires…”

I hope she enjoys sitting alone!

I don’t imagine this is an event you get to do many times.

3969

Ha ha. It amazes me that people don’t take about 30 seconds and check their spelling, though “bomb fires” would elude a spellchecker.

These women, if they were sitting for a photo, would go to great care to look their best, but when it comes to an online profile, they don’t seem to make any effort.

A typo or two never bothered me, but some were so replete with misspellings and grammatical errors that I never gave them a second look.

3970

OKC even makes it easy to have a grammatically correct profile by giving you the option to allow others to suggest edits. (“You may want to change ‘I liek gowing for long woks’ to this instead…”) Maybe they think leaving error-riddled profiles up allows you to see them as they really are, no artifice, that sort of thing. “Sure, I could get someone to fix my typos but that wouldn’t be the real me and besides, I don’t want to date some grammer nazi looser anyway.”

3971

I saw this once, no joke:

Do NOT send me an e-mail with spelling and grammer error’s!!!

Which is almost as good as:

I’m 4’20" friendly, so if that bothers you don’t email me.

4’20", so that’s… 5’8"? You like short guys, mazeltov! How open-minded!

3972

…

Do I… Do I point out the obvious encryption in the second one?

I guess my question would be, are you serious about that last one?

3973

Bong decor!

That took me a sec.

3974

Well, I suppose 5’8" isn’t THAT short…

3975

She was expressing her predilection for pot. Her gusto for Ganja. Her mirth for marijuana. The foot-and-inches thing was just a clever way to code it so that the dorks and squares wouldn’t catch…

Oooooh.

Ok, carry on.

3976

My god. That’s like some Enigma Machine cryptographic bullshit going on there. My mind, it is blown.

3977

I think Mightynute knows what “420 friendly” means, but it’s not usually expressed as a correlation to height in feet and inches.

3978

I plead confusion, then. Placed within the context of the laughably ironic demand for grammers’, I thought he was still delving into the same vein.

3979

No, I was just mocking the use of single/double inverted commas.

3980

Personally, I appreciated the grammar disaster profiles. It really helped me weed people out quicker and saved me a lot of time. Anyone can make a typo, sure, but intelligent people don’t even write “quiet time with that special person in getting to know them and seeing what happens as all good things take time”, never mind leaving it that way.