That Internet dating thing

This is how I met extarbags, though I don’t like to tell people. “Emotionally overwhelming seeks same for mutual smothering.” The funny part is, I thought he was kidding!

I would just offer this generalized bit of advice, regardless of where you look: sometimes when people are looking online, it becomes too easy to want to find someone who has the exact same interests as you, or the same taste in music, movies or literature. Because you can sort people a thousand different ways, and you know all kinds of random trivia about their likes and dislikes, you can fool yourself into thinking you know someone.

In my experience, and I’ve even seen some research to this effect, having shared interests is pretty much meaningless. Kinda nice but not necessary. So, it’s a shame to pass someone over because they share those same interests and you might find that you really don’t click with someone who referenced your favorite book of all time. Online dating sort of fools you that way.

…and hope they DON’T use a throw away mail account so you can plug their name/email address into google and facebook ;) I weeded out a lot of people that way.

Yeaaaaaah. The beginning of an internet dating relationship is way too stalkery now.

You run the risk of forgetting what you should or shouldn’t know about them, though.

One of the hazards of tangled-web-weaving.

I don’t really think of it as stalkery. If a friend was setting me up with someone or I met someone at a party and we had mutual friends, I’d ask about them. If I’m going out with a complete stranger, I don’t have that luxury but I do have google. I do the same with potential employers. Maybe it’s a girl thing? All of my female friends do this. The guys, not so much. I’m just not that into going out with a total stranger. It feels too risky.

Yay! Another dating thread! It’s been too long.

I had pretty unpleasant experiences with OKCupid, but that’s mainly because I’m goddam terrible at representing who I am online. I come across as earnest and over-serious and striving, when in reality I’m just a little too eager to please.

If I were still doing it (met a nice gal in RL, yay!) I’d try to use the site as little as possible, mainly using it to set up meetings. All the “I’m this” and “I don’t like this” stuff seems to work for some people, but it was just a big distraction for me. The point is to meet people, not to appear cool online. Ugh. Dating.

That’s why you need your iPhone handy so you can have a cheat sheet and some bookmarks about them prepped.

Seriously though, I haven’t had much luck with these kinds of sites myself, though based on the experience of friends they seem to go OKCupid > PlentyOfFish > craigslist in terms of effectiveness. One friend got a ton of responses from craigslist, but felt like she had to take a shower after reading most of them.

Eh I don’t hide it, Gary knows I googled him.

O Dear God.

I’m not really sure what the big deal is, it’s not like google mapping peoples houses or anything. It’s more like “Oh yeah, not so into his sparkling pot leaf myspace background.”

wait, Gary was on Craigslist? Why am I not surprised by this at all?

You know about the Choggle Pants, right?

Why do you think I went on the date?!

Ding ding Best answer you could ever have given.

Fortunately, I don’t think “chogglepants” comes up as a high hit link on Google for him.

EDIT: Or I could be wrong. My blessings on you both, you’ll go far together. In shit-filled pants.

Hey, you’ve seen Leah’s pics, it obviously worked well for him.

His thread is 3rd if you google Choggle Pants.

3.5 years of warm, squishy bliss.

Who doesn’t google or facebook someone immediately after the first date, if not before?

My roommate in my second year of Uni would collect phone numbers, then look up who’s name was associated with the phone numbers, and then google/facebook them. An optional step he used was to try to track down their their uni or collage email addresses if he was having trouble. He wasn’t the only one I knew that did that either.

Hell behavior like this is what kept me away from Facebook for so long, everyone I met from associates of friends to random people used Facebook for massive internet stalking. Maybe my experience was just an aberration but the majority of the 60+ people I networked with that year were like that.

Also I’m quite surprised these sites have people in my area, they used to only have men/old women/people 3+ hours away as members in my area. Hmmm nice to know.