How do you know he smells funny? A scratch and sniff profile?
So my wife and I been swinging for two years now (we found out that we are like that through marriage counseling. Go figure) Anways, we normally have been with just friend couples but now we decided to try the internet to find other couples. Its been kinda weird so far. Some are just pushy and whatnot.
I’ll give you access to my OKC quiver!
Scrax
4165
I was wondering if QT3 was going to be able to ignore that one…but no.
I don’t care either way, I just don’t go for it myself.
But it would be nice if OkCupid stopped filling my quiver with straight polygamists who live 500 miles away from me.
jeffd
4167
The number of poly folks on OKC is kind of nuts.
The great thing is - you can filter based on marital status. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a profile of a girl who is “single,” and it’s not until the VERY END that she mentions she’s got a husband. It’s bizarre!
Thanks for the discussion. I never would have thought to check OKC.
Wife and I are definitely going to check out the poly thing. After doing some research, I think we gravitate towards that moreso than the swinging thing which seems to be just hooking up for sex whereas my wife and I like to date other couples for long term relationships.
Anybody else ever experience anything remotely close to what I am going through?
Yes, Arab sheiks.
Seriously though, I’ll ask the obvious question. You are really ok with another guy putting his dick in your wife on a regular basis? Just personally, that would irk me.
In all seriousness, it really doesn’t bother me. At first I thought I would be but once we started, it didn’t really seem to matter to me all that much.
Now what I don’t like is if the guy is a (no pun intended) dick or cocky. The wife doesn’t like it either so haven’t had to experience that yet and I really don’t know how I would react. So far we have only met pretty cool people who were laid back and easy going.
Gah. I too, fucking hate this.
Another great profile headline I came across:
“life is like a carrot one day in your mouth and one day up your ass…LOL”
Oh man Ned. The world is your oyster! Wow, my OKC profile is still there. Nostalgia!
edit: oh. Uh. I had a message from a friend of mine’s ex back in Florida propositioning me, about 2 months after I stopped logging in. Kinda weird.
Guess who didn’t show up for lunch today? :P
Under normal circumstances I’d be mildly peeved but I was expecting a no-show, so instead it just feels like the world is operating as it should.
I had a very apologetic message waiting for me when I got back, along with an explanation and the promise of making amends.
Tomorrow: The French guy who plays softball.
I hope it was a GOOD explanation. Tell him there’s a large-ish Internet community expecting him to step up and stop being such a damned flake. Those of us who haven’t dated in a long time are living vicariously through you.
jeffd
4176
Dude there’s no good explanation. The guy isn’t a flake - he’s a prick.
(This is the guy who had no-showed a couple of times before, right?)
I think somewhere in this thread I talked about the one no-show last year who slept in and missed the meet-up…twice! We never did meet as I was disinclined to see how sleepy he’d be for a third attempt.
The current no-show has never committed to a firm date/time before, just vague “next week should be good” kind of stuff. The explanation for missing out was reasonable enough, if true.
I was just thinking about retiring my OKC profile when they seemed to sense my intent and tried to head me off at the pass. Just got an email letting me know that I’m in some new attractive users category. Search results are still strictly based on the questions, but apparently I’ll receive more attractive recommendations and my profile will show up for more attractive people in their match results.
My issue is that I’m not much for small talk, both over email and in person. And I hate the phone. I know how to turn on the charm when the energy is right or I’m in the zone and I’m pretty good at getting attention during those first critical minutes (or virtual email/messaging minutes spread over time), but that only lasts so long before the weeding process begins and I’m always very, very conscious of the weeding process to the point of distraction.
Think it’s time to swing this boat around and take control of the helm, which probably means more OKC interaction (ack) and going out to bars/clubs/other venues more (double ack).
This is just so opposite of my universe. Do the two of you have rules that must be followed? Do you both have to be present? How would you feel if you came home and the tv repairguy had his tongue in her mouth, his hand on her tits and rod buried all the way in? Would you be okay with that? How do you think she would feel if she came home and you were doing that with another woman?
I can’t speak for supersport but in my experience there are pretty some clear rules about comfort zones and communication that couples need to establish if they want to do this sort of thing without endangering their own relationship. I’ve had a variety of friends over the years play around with this stuff and seen some do well with it and some get into a lot of trouble.
My wife and I have talked about the idea and we have no squick factor over it but it just seems like too much work. It’s a lot of work to find other people interested and compatible and handle it in a manner respectful to all involved. That’s right, laziness keeps us monogamous.
