That Internet dating thing

WarrenM · 2010-07-13T13:42:29.000Z

ElGuapo:

That’s a good idea, WarrenM and mmalloy. Just put me on ignore, instead of the self righteous bullshit, mmkay?

You know what? You’re right. I can’t remember the last time you wrote something that I actually felt smarter for having read it, so I’ll do exactly that. Thanks!

Eilonwy · 2010-07-13T13:43:27.000Z

ElGuapo:

And stop putting words in my mouth like “whore”, mmalloy.

Sorry. I meant Women of Negotiable Affection.

And if I put you on ignore, I’ll miss the part where you ask me to the prom :(

By the way, fuck match.com and their ridiculous automatic renewal process. At least they were good about refunding that shit. I hate that almost every site out there is doing that these days.

Shadarr · 2010-07-13T13:49:03.000Z

DoomMunky:

The trick for me is to go into it playfully and without much investment. It’s hard for me not to get all wrapped up in The Pursuit of a Girlfriend ™ and treat it like it’s super important.

I think the trick is to try to have fun with it as much as possible, but also to be clear about who you are and what you’re looking for. Because along the way you meet a lot of women who are pretty close to who you’re looking for, or meet all of your bullet points but there just isn’t a spark, and you have to accept that it can be a long process with a lot of near misses. The almost-right dates can be harder than the truly bad dates.

Zylon · 2010-07-13T13:52:52.000Z

WarrenM:

You know what? You’re right. I can’t remember the last time you wrote something that I actually felt smarter for having read it, so I’ll do exactly that.

This is that “irony” thing I’ve heard so much about, isn’t it.

Alan_Dunkin · 2010-07-13T14:14:26.000Z

Yeah well… hey some people enjoying seeing posts like that, others don’t. Some thing it’s a big positive, others a big negative. Unless it’s in the forum rules that you can’t, you know, criticize someone for their actions, then you should just let folks reap what they sow.

— Alan

Edit: There is also a time of course when one can go over the top with that stuff (the stories and/or the criticism).

Demon_G_Sides · 2010-07-13T14:17:32.000Z

Zylon, normally don’t care for you and/or your humor, but that was hilarious.

Also, Supersport, more stories :D

Flowers · 2010-07-13T15:32:03.000Z

ElGuapo:

Just because you feel like disrespecting women doesn’t mean I do. Just because some people enjoy sex doesn’t mean they are using anyone, or anyone is being used. So get out of the Victorian Age, ok? Sometimes sex is about intimacy and love, sometimes about expression, sometimes about passion or lust, sometimes fun, and sometimes companionship is companionship. I’ve never attacked your personal relationships and I never plan to.

I have always respected sluts. Occasionally though, there are bad reasons to engage in sexual behavior. When you are being chased, for example. While flaring your spring jacket can make you look larger and more imposing to a mountain lion, joining in coitus with another person to create a tentacled peach beast on the forest floor will likely provoke the lion to attack you, as mountain lions love to eat peaches. Another bad reason to have sex is because you want attention. Instead of having sex with someone just to become the center of attention do something constructive with your life, like having sex to try and get famous. Being famous is like having sex with everyone in the whole world without having to worry if they will manage to get your phone number from a mutual friend who doesn’t know you well enough to know when he’s actually helping you or when he’s messing up your shit. Like a relationship version of a guy who puts onions on everything.

People who are too free when entering into sexual relationships can face problems down the road related to their intimacy issues. If you think you or someone that you care about might be one of these people, tell them that they are going to be someone’s everything someday, and that I am having a party on Saturday. That way, when I drop a line about wanting to meet someone to be my everything, they will think it is a sign and I will be able to sleep with them should I so choose.

Actually, I am married, which means that my ability to be pleasant to women is neck and neck with my appendix in terms of continued utility. The rest of you, have fun feigning interest.

Here’s some dating advice while I am at it. Pick six things that you like, and next time you meet someone, act like you have never tried them. It could be anything, cheese, onions, anal sex, skydiving, waterskiing, massages. Just make sure anal sex is in there. Now, let the person broaden your horizons. Now you are the couple that tries new things. I think you know where this is going. That can be taken two ways. So can that. And that. Double Entendre combo with airstrike, my power level is five hundred and rising.

MatthewF · 2010-07-13T15:40:50.000Z

Actually Flowers, I think you just went over 9000 with that post.

John_Many_Jars · 2010-07-13T16:25:21.000Z

To be told they’re not fat
To be told their enemies are fat
To be told their friends are not fat but still lack a certain je ne sais quoi, although it’s OK, really
THE MANFUL TOUCH OF JOHN MANY JARS
OTHER HAND TOO

And that’s the key to successful dating

Bill_Dungsroman · 2010-07-13T16:52:32.000Z

I had a really nice date last Saturday with a girl who messaged me on OKC. ZOMG WAS THAT OFF TOPIC/BRAGGING I DOUBT WE’LL HAVE GROUP SEX AT THIS JUNCTURE OH GOD DON’T YELL AT ME GUYS ;_;

Just kidding. Not about the date though, that really was great. Conversing with an intelligent person face-to-face who has opinions but isn’t too narrow-minded to respect the opinions of other people, even when it pertains to (gasp) politics and religion, is refreshing beyond words. Also am I the only one totally pulling for Ned to find that special someone? You can do it, Ned!

Also, Spoilsport, I am all for your anecdotes regarding polyamory! However, under one condition. As anyone familiar with your lifestyle knows, sooner or later you’re going to feel obligated to put your penis in another man’s mouth, or vice-versa, and all I ask is that you report back to this thread when you 'round that bend, as they say.

Cubit · 2010-07-13T17:15:25.000Z

Supersport:

I really don’t want to take over this thread because I think there are some folks here that are in real need. Just every couple weeks, I would like to post what we have been going through on the dating scene.

My wife and I spent 13 years not communicating our true feelings and it ground our marriage to the point of divorce. Once we did communicate our feelings, the last few years have been the best of our marriage. This kind of lifestyle is not for everybody but if this type of open and frank talk even helps out one couple or enables somebody to help out another couple, then that would make me one happy camper.

I’ve been enjoying your posts and updates, so keep em’ coming. :)

I’m a big fan of people being open and honest about their sexual needs in a relationship. If doing the poly/swinging thing has helped improved your relationship with your wife, than I think that is really awesome.

Matthew_Gallant · 2010-07-13T17:25:17.000Z

Bill Dungsroman:

sooner or later you’re going to feel obligated to put your penis in another man’s mouth, or vice-versa,

Vice-versa? How do you put another man’s mouth in your penis? Because I want to put the guy from the Old Spice commercial’s mouth in mine. I think I would make him say “I’m in a penis.”

Damien_Falgoust · 2010-07-13T17:38:24.000Z

Bill Dungsroman:

Also, Spoilsport, I am all for your anecdotes regarding polyamory! However, under one condition. As anyone familiar with your lifestyle knows, sooner or later you’re going to feel obligated to put your penis in another man’s mouth, or vice-versa, and all I ask is that you report back to this thread when you 'round that bend, as they say.

This is about that college roommate story, isn’t it?

Scrax · 2010-07-13T18:35:35.000Z

Bill Dungsroman:

Also, Spoilsport, I am all for your anecdotes regarding polyamory! However, under one condition. As anyone familiar with your lifestyle knows, sooner or later you’re going to feel obligated to put your penis in another man’s mouth, or vice-versa, and all I ask is that you report back to this thread when you 'round that bend, as they say.

Yea, don’t entice others down into your shame spiral dude. Not cool.

ElGuapo · 2010-07-13T19:08:53.000Z

Scrax:

Yea, don’t entice others down into your shame spiral dude. Not cool.

Shame spiral? AND SCRAX WAS THAT ROOMATE.

jerri_blank · 2010-07-13T20:25:20.000Z

Matthew Gallant:

Vice-versa? How do you put another man’s mouth in your penis? Because I want to put the guy from the Old Spice commercial’s mouth in mine. I think I would make him say “I’m in a penis.”

Not sure how that would work, but Isaiah Mustafa has a new series of videos on Youtube where he comically answers tweets (in his Old Spice character).

http://www.youtube.com/user/oldspice#p/u/0/dfqlVi5DGuo

He was on G4 the other day explaining how they made the new commercial. In addition to being cute, he’s got a really cute personality. I’d almost go straight for that guy.

robsam · 2010-07-13T20:38:50.000Z

Some jackass is going to say this was covered in another thread, but it won’t be me. Wait, I sort of said that, but only to make fun of the jackass that pointed it out with malice. Ah, hell. Never mind.

Dr_Killinger · 2010-07-13T22:08:49.000Z

Huh? I go away for a few days and now this thread is busy again?

Anyway, to stay somewhat on topic, I talked to another promising woman from OKC. We exchanged several emails and eventually exchanged phone numbers. Things seemed to be going fairly well so I called her a couple days later and asked if she would like to meet up for coffee or a quick bite to eat. She says “Yeah that would be great. I’m not busy this week, but I don’t have a drivers license so I’ll have to see when I’ll be able to get a ride somewhere.” Now that set off some alarm bells because either she’s come up with a new line I hadn’t heard before to “let guys down easy” or I’m talking to a 21 year old person (I’m 22 for the record) who doesn’t drive which could mean several things.

Keeping in mind she doesn’t live where there’s easy access to mass transit and she says she has a job so I assume she gets to and from it somehow, I’m not sure I understand what’s going on. Just never bothered to get a license? Flat out can’t drive for shit? DUI conviction? All of the above? Hell if I know. I didn’t ask to many questions because I was having a hard time coming up with a tactful way to say “Why the fuck do you not have a drivers license?” on the spot. I kind of assumed (never a good thing to do on the internet) that she lived on her own, but now that I think about it maybe she lives with her folks still? Assuming she’s telling the truth and not blowing me off, it’s not a complete deal-breaker, but it certainly has the possibility to make things more challenging.

We continued the conversation a few minutes after this point and she seemed honest and pretty normal all things considered. She did seem interested in meeting, but wouldn’t commit because of the “license issue”. Hell, she laughed at my (probably bad) jokes so I won’t completely write her off yet, but I will consider my next move carefully. Am I the only one who thinks this is strange? Either way, I’m fairly certain I’m thinking about this too damn hard…

Scrax · 2010-07-13T22:15:40.000Z

It could be any of the above, but I do have a friend who simply never got a license because she could never afford her own car. Till she was 21 if I remember correctly.

Mark_Asher · 2010-07-13T22:15:56.000Z

“Just never bothered to get a license? Flat out can’t drive for shit? DUI conviction? All of the above?”

Are any of these dealbreakers?

Could be a money thing – cars and insurance and gas cost money. If she went to college and paid her own way, maybe a car was a luxury she couldn’t afford.