4701

My god, he’s married to a Young Republican karaoke singer…

4702

While things have been hopping (!) for Supersport, the dating scene for me of late has looked a bit like this:

The guy from PoF that I met suggested we get together ‘next week’ which would be this week. Haven’t heard back from him since agreeing to this somewhat nebulous schedule. Also on PoF I got added as a favorite by someone. The name seemed passingly familiar, so I checked the profile and it was the same guy from last year who is ‘straight but curious’. Blargh. He’s apparently already had a change of heart, though, as I do not see him on my ‘people who have added you as a favorite’ list. Small mercies.

guy seems to have moved on. Again, small mercies.

And just this morning I got mail on PoF from a name that was not familiar. I check and it’s a guy in ‘Swatara’ who is seeking a ‘woman’ for ‘dating’. In the ‘About Me’ section he writes “I am looking for a woman who is strong and independent.”

Here is the wall of text he sent to me:

hello my name is [Guy from Swatara] I have a great sense of humor, a very quick wit and I love to laugh. Passionate, playful and impish are good words to describe me (a friend says I have a “come play with me” spirit.) I am always up for a good adventure and trying new things. I know how to have fun in lots of different settings.I am thoughtful, loyal, intuitive, self aware, compassionate, romantic and honest. I pride myself on being low maintenance. Communication is an integral part of all of my relationships. I have been told that I make a very good friend. My perfect Match is a man who is honest, communicative, self aware, optimistic, sexy, intelligent, passionate, sensual, has a great sense of humor and a desire to have fun. If he is spiritual, that is an added plus. Appreciated and enjoyed are good books, good music, honest love, great sex, deep intimacy, well-prepared food, real laughter and basic honesty. I have a reliable sense of self, character, values and a relationship with the importance of contributing something to the world. I relish the company of funny, creative men, skilled at conversation & of even temperament, with a side of eclectic uniqueness and a large slice of sensuality. You will get the same from me. Eye contact is something I cherish. Whoever said that the eyes are a window to the soul was absolutely right. I have a unique intuition about people, and when I follow my gut instinct, I am usually right. I have been described as femme with an edge… but my hands are always soft and warm, as is my heart and smile. I am a great listener, a comfortable snuggler and a true romantic. YOU are attractive, and possess an inner beauty that deserves affection, attention and understanding. . You’re ready to share, experience, and enjoy the deep, unique connection and chemistry that is possible between two people, either on a friendship level, or more if it’s meant to be.i am not a "player"and never like games.

I have bolded the conflicting details for ease of reading.

And that’s about it. Exciting times in Ned’s Realm of Hot Man Dates!

4703

I just wanted to jump in here and state how much I enjoy this thread.

I’ve been lurking (not the same as stalking, honest) for over a year now and I have found the stories here absolutely fascinating. Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you guys could put off finding happiness until an equally amusing thread establishes itself, that would really be great. Thanks.

4704

So Ned, how has PoF been for you?

4705

PoF has been great! :D

4706

Supersport, how do you guys in the swinger lifestyle deal with depressing but important issues like STDs or accidental pregnancy? Do people insist on 100% condom use? When you and your wife really like another couple, does everyone get tested first?

4707

You rang?

That did make me giggle.

I’m currently in an internet dating story of my own, but I’m still waiting to see how things end up. I’m in such a weird transitional phase right now and he lives an hour away, but we’ve been seeing one another quite frequently over the last two months. It’s a story of Twitter, karaoke (of course), Flickr stalking, and bacon Bloody Marys. I’m learning new terminology regarding his interests, and his friends seem to love me. He’s been super supportive during my entire upheaval that I’ve been going through.

My stories aren’t the most entertaining, but here’s the Cliff’s Notes on what’s happened for me of late:

  1. Theatre guy (who I met on OkCupid) and I are no longer seeing one another, mostly due to his emotional constipation. We still chat from time to time, but I’ve made it clear that I’m no longer interested. I’ll miss the subsidized pedicures and his Cal-King sized bed.
  2. There was the ex-Mormon that I had a brief fling with. It’s just not smart to do such a thing with your friend’s roommate, no matter how cute, adequately geeky, and super muscle-y he is. It can make hanging out with her a little awkward at times.
  3. Karaoke guy (who was blathered on about in the “I’m drunk” thread at the beginning of the year) recently decided to declare his undying love for me. I was unimpressed, considering his level of intoxication. Yes, I realize that might sound slightly hypocritical, however, he seems to be unable to go out and not get completely hammered. I’ll pass on dating the alcoholic.
4708

I’ve been following the thread for a while, and I think you’re struck an important truth here. I’m really starting to believe the wide range of criteria covered by the dating sites narrows searches too much, inadvertently knocking out true contenders before they have a chance.

I met my wife in Ye Olden Days before the Internet, and we met through a personal ad I placed in one of the free weekly papers. Since there wasn’t much room to write in the ad, we agreed to meet for a date based on fewer than maybe ten criteria, and most of those were just the basics of single, straight, same region, etc. Even with the things we do agree on, we don’t match on lots of big stuff like politics, hobbies, education levels, religious backgrounds, and family backgrounds. I am pretty sure that we never would have met if we had been in the hands of OKC or eHarmony instead of the LA Weekly, but our 17th anniversary is next week. We really do look right past significant issues that are apparently dealbreakers on many folks’ “potential date” lists, and I don’t know if or how that is accounted for when these sites recommend matches.

4709

My wife and I are both fixed. I got a vasectemy after my second child was born about 12 years ago. My wife had an hysterectomy about 5 years ago.

We insist on condoms and make it known prior to actual sex. We have run into some couples that insist on not using a condom and we usually drop all pursuit after that. That is just playing russian roullete in my book.

As for testing, we don’t do that. We both got tested back in May prior to getting into this full time, but we don’t ask other couples to do so. Usually you can figure out the ones that are careful over the ones that are not during the dating process.

And…update on the Kauai couple…found out the husband didn’t want to do the lifestyle anymore but his wife does and she told him she will continue regardless of what he says. Right now they have stopped living together and they are definitely on the rocks. My wife and I both asked them at the start if they were stable and committed and they both said yes. I don’t think that was the whole truth if this is occuring.

4710

What was the deal with the Theatre guy? Just not talkative or what?

4711

No, he had issues with the fact that I completely fell apart sobbing when I found out that a friend of mine had committed suicide, that I needed someone to just hold me for a few minutes, and that I asked him to do so. Apparently, showing any sort of emotion was “moving too fast” for him. Please note, I was not asking him to talk about it with me, I just needed someone to be there and hold me for about 5 minutes. We’d been dating semi-seriously for about three months at that point, and I thought this was a reasonable request.

We didn’t speak for about a month afterward. I reached out once, and when I received no response, I chose to not make any more effort.

4712

That’s fucked up. He obviously needs to find a robot, not a human being, to keep him company…

4713

More likely he was already thinking about breaking things off and didn’t want to get more involved.

4714

HUMAN SADNESS DOES NOT COMPUTE. WHY WOULD THE HUMAN SELF-TERMINATE?

4715

Just as long as he watches out for Electro-Gonorrhea.

4716

Better that than sonic diarrhea.

4717

Still not as bad as the cyber-herp.

4718

Sorry to hear about your friend, Siren. I’m also sorry that guy was a complete unsympathetic douchebag.

4719

He’s still interested in (having sex with) me, just not interested in a relationship. I’m not interested in being with someone without the option of a relationship further down the road.

4720

How old is this guy? Early 20s?