4981

I guess i’m reflecting my own limited capacity here. I can’t imagine living that without it becoming a predominate part of my free time; but that doesn’t mean a more agile person socially couldn’t do so. It seems you’d have to start devoting more and more time looking for people in circles further and further away from your own after exhaustion all the nearby possibilities, and just the lifestyle would require more and more of your attention. Again, though, like i said, i understand casual relationships much more, it’s the seeking out for new conquests regularly whilst still having a steady relationship/wife that i can’t understand.

Also, since when is looking for something interesting to do a bad thing?

It’s not! But speaking only for myself, i wouldn’t find looking for - that is actively seeking - new sexual partners outside of my relationship interesting, even with consent.

4982

This. I don’t get why you guys are bagging on divorced so much.

She took the midnight train goin’ annnnnywheeeeeeere.

4983

I appreciate it, but I’m really not trying to be judgemental in the least. I’m about as far from a perfect human being as exists believe me. If the freedom to explain the lifestyle exists here, then surely the freedom to not understand it fully exists as well. My bringing up my faith was merely to explain my basis for thinking what I do, no other reason.

As for the guy who thinks I’m coming off as a prick, can’t do anything for you. I’m just asking questions and expressing an opinion, nothing more.

4984

I think it was the visualizations. They were perhaps a bit unnecessary. The rod comment had me laughing though.

4985

shrugs I think it’s possible I’m just being overly humorless today. It’s been that kind of week. Rgh.

4986

Posting a little early (after only six days) cause A LOT has happened. Great for me, but ho-hum for Ms. Super.

The meteorologist and his wife we cancelled on so we could have CSM and his wife over. HOLY HELL did we have a awesome night with these guys. However, he got stage fright but Ms. Super still had a good time because the company was just that much fun. They didn’t leave till 3am and literally 9 hours went by in a flash (they came over for dinner at 6pm). This is the kind of couple we been looking for big time and definitely will be hanging out with them some more. So we think that he will get more comfortable as he gets to know us better and they are worth the patience. Even if there was no sex involved, they are a really cool couple just to hang out with and have similar interests as we do. This was Saturday night. They invited us over for a little Rock Band this coming weekend, but we are going golfing with them on Sunday instead.

The IT military guy and his girlfriend we went out with on Sunday and we were the first couple they did a swap with. Again, we totally hit off with these guys, so these two will be our second couple we will likely hang out with for a long time. However, homeboy was talking a good game and thought he would not get stage fright, but he did. His girlfriend is super hot though so Ms. Super and I played around with her most of the night with him just having fun. Like the other couple before, he didn’t get all weirded out or anything and just had fun with it. He is going to class for a couple of weeks but when he gets back we are definitely having them over for dinner again and he totally wants to make it up to Ms. Super :P I am thinking of making some seared Ahi since he likes fish.

This Saturday we are finally having the meteorologist and his wife over so will give updates on that.

Oh and the neurologist and his wife seem to have a change of heart on the whole couple thing again. So that will make our third couple which puts us into the amount we can handle. So we have backed off on pursuing anymore folks on AFF or SLS. Things are really going good right now. :)

4987

Exactly what’s going on with all these Stage-fright-prone-would-be-studs? Are you somehow Zeus and Aphrodite once you rip off your clothes and the guy suddenly realizes he can’t change the name of continents with his prowess as a lover? (to put it cleanly, that is).

Obviously, a lot of these guys talk the talk, but they never truly expected to have to do the walk. I somehow find this bizarre.

4988

Supersport,

I’m curious, when you say “stage fright” I get what you mean, but is this happening while you’re all in a room together or do you separate for that portion of the encounter? If you’re all together, would separating briefly maybe help the situation or is that considered taboo since it would essentially be a one-on-one encounter with someone who isn’t your spouse at that point? If it’s taboo to separate, what about having both ladies attend to the guy with the “stage fright” while the other guy steps out of the room for a few minutes, just to get things rolling again? I don’t know what the rules or boundaries are with this sort of situation, but it seems like “stage fright” is a pretty common occurance in your recaps.

EDIT : LOL, Tankreo, get out of my head man! ;-)

4989

Stage fright can strike unexpectedly if there’s something even a little off about a situation. I used to be baffled at the idea of guys who couldn’t perform in weird circumstances till it happened to me once. Now I don’t give them any crap :)

4990

I honestly think I might be a little strange because I have only run into one other guy (the neurologist) who was able to get an erection right away. I always thought that guys were always ready to go no matter what (especially if it was something really erotic and different).

It is at the point now where when we get together as a couple, I usually sit back for 15 to 30 minutes or so and let my wife and his wife/girlfriend work on him or the ladies play together at first, then I join in. So far that doesn’t seem to be working either though but I am really at a loss on what to do to get the guys going.

To answer your questions though, I think it boils down to nerves. Some of it might be having another dude in there; Some of it is that it is a new experience; Some of it is that Ms. Super is pretty cute and definitely above average in looks; and some of it is that it is a different partner from their own.

Its usually one of those things listed above but we have come to appreciate it when the guy takes it in stride rather than get all bent about it which we have run into a few times already. When they try harder the game is lost at that point. I usually tell them to relax, enjoy the moment and it will happen.

4991

So I just got the following message on POF:

“I just wanted to stop by an say hello. You’re about you is cute. There are alot. Id like to chat sometime if you’re interested, let me know. Take care”

Gah! GRAMMAR! SPELLING! THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT!

4992

Not if she is Salma Hayek hotness.

4993

Not that this is directed at you, but I wanted to make this comment and this seemed like a good enough place to start.

One thing that people who say “Oh that sounds so hard” in regards to openness and polyamory seem to forget is that Monogamy is really really hard also. They just happen to be different. In an open relationship, the major hurdle is jealously. If you can learn to over-come (or more likely learn to process in a healthy way) the urge of jealously, than you can have some success.

In monogamy, the major hurdle is human sex drive itself. There is lot’s of debate as to whether monogamy is our natural state, and I think pretty much all of the available evidence seems to suggest otherwise: divorce rates, cheating rates for men and women. All you have to do is open a magazine: monogamy is hard. And that’s not to say that because it’s not exactly what humans are designed to do that we shouldn’t do it. If that’s what makes you happy, incredible, do it.

I just having a feeling that if more people looked deep enough, they would find that with enough trust in someone, they could live with less sexual exclusivity in their lives.

This parts for you Adam: I think a major reason for the “reorganization” of lifestyle around sex evolves from the social stigma surrounding these kinds of arrangements.

You’ll notice that these kinds of things are more common in the gay community, and I don’t think it’d be right to say a large portion of gay men (proportionate to relative population anyway) reorganize their lives around sex.

4994

I like this alot.

4995

A couple weeks ago, you said something along the lines of “stage fright” being a deal-breaker because you didn’t want to have all the fun at Ms. Supersport’s expense.

Did that fall by the wayside as being too difficult to enforce in the heat of the moment, or is Ms. Supersport just such a… super sport… that she overrode your restrictions?

And once again, thank you for sharing. I couldn’t live such a life, but I really find it fascinating to read about.

4996

I have decided to abstain from the dating ritual until I am fully employed again. I think my head (the one on my shoulders :P) will be in a better place then, too, which will probably help.

4997

Yeah, I’m pretty sure I might have a hard time not having “stage fright” in such a situation. At least the first time or so…

4998

Has malkav gone on his date yet?

4999

Thanks alot

5000

I think if the decision was totally mine it would still be a deal breaker, however, I ask Ms. Super if she is ok and if she says she is good, then I am good.

Another thing is that we are both pleasers. So we really like making the other person feel super special and basically please the other person.

Soo even though it isnt totally perfect for her, she still has a good time. At least that is what she has lead me to believe.