Well, that’s kind of a personal choice. You’ve already acknowledged that letting her keep the phone would be taking the high road, so whether or not to cancel the order is completely a matter of how you feel about it. Though that’s a few hundred dollars you’re talking about, and like Anders said, it’s not like you’d actually be taking back a gift that you’ve already given her.
On the other side of the coin: if I were in her shoes, and I received a new iPhone that my significant other bought me right before I broke up with them, I’d be kind of a jerk to just keep it.
divorced
5282
Don’t know about guilt. Won’t cancel the order and it is shipping to my place. If I don’t give it to her, I’ll give it to my 17-year old daughter as she really wants one. But I don’t want to be a prick either.
It’s shipping to your place? Okay, not giving her an iPhone you were going to give her before she broke up with you is not being a prick. If you actually want her to have it, give it to her. Otherwise, don’t.
That’s not the high road. You don’t owe her an iPhone. Your actual dilemma is whether you keep the iPhone for yourself or return it.
Maybe there’s a part of you who thinks that maybe if you go through with your act of generosity, she will rethink/regret breaking up with you. But think about this: She is going to use that Iphone to talk to men. Men who are not you.
Make her buy her own goddamn Iphone. THAT is what will make her rethink/regret the breakup. HAH!
And then you put an ad in the Men Seeking Women section of Craigslist with this title: “FREE Iphone for My Next Girlfriend.” Your niece can buy her own phone. Uncle Divorced has needs.
You don’t give it to her. She broke up with you, she doesn’t exist, you owe her nothing.
Scrax
5287
Only give it to her if you take some pictures of yourself enjoying the day with another lady.
ZekeDMS
5288
You owe her nothing. I’ve tried to convince friends of this before, who stuck with plans to give a girl a present/take her somewhere immediately after a breakup. It ends in nothing but massive regret, and occasional “I want my DS back.”
Scrax
5289
Shit, I just realized I’ve done the same thing. I still had enough good feelings about the person to send them something* that I had already bought for them a week or so after the the break up. I finally came to terms with what an asshole he was later…but what a sucker I was …
Don’t do it divorced, or you’ll be a huge sucker.
*It wasn’t hundreds of dollars.
Zuwadza
5290
Well, I have a date tomorrow evening with a girl from OKC. After reading the sushi horror story up-thread I decided to keep it very simple, cheap and bail-able: coffee. I’m really, really hoping it goes well. We’ve talked online for a bit and she seems very much my type (smart, funny brunette).
Also, re: divorced’s ex’s iPhone. Definitely keep or return that sucker. If it was something smaller, cheaper I’d hand it over, but an iPhone? That’s a pretty pricey trinket.
Good luck, Zuwadza!
The last time I went on a first date for sushi I got dumped early for a toilet. Hopefully you will have more success sticking with coffee.
Gourmand
5292
Godspeed!
The coffee suggestion is great. I’ll add: you should find something interesting near the coffee spot. That way, If it’s awesome you can suggest something to keep it going. Otherwise, you can still bail if it’s bad.
I like to pick coffee spots near parks for this reason.
ZekeDMS
5293
Same here, Gourmand. I try to get a Denny’s or Ihop or coffee shop near a park I know is safe at night (too god damn hot in the daytime and all). If the coffee shop, etc. goes well, why not move somewhere after and keep it going? Park’s one of the best places for it.
Zuwadza
5294
Way ahead of ya! Coffee joint is well downtown, near pretty much everything.
Sorry to hear about the break-up divorced. I’ll also echo everyone else’s sentiment regarding the phone: keep it, give it to your daughter or return it.
Zuwadza
5296
Turns out bailing early was unnecessary!
The coffee shop is typically the 21st century way of going on first meet-ups/dates. It’s a very neutral location, doesn’t involve alcohol, generally has something for everyone (coffee, hot chocolate, tea, or water) and doesn’t generally invite aggressive vibes. It’s laid back, as should be the conversation. And they can be centrally located to other date locales within easy walking distance.
— Alan
Zuwadza
5298
Yeah, first date was an easy choice. Second, not so much.
Always a nice thing, ain’t it?
Zuwadza
5300
Indeed it is a good thing, although she seemed bored (or distracted) towards the end. Regardless, she agreed to go out again, so it’s all good I guess.
