5341

Now you’re getting it!

5342

Nobody’s stopping you from dating them, Alan. If you want to be the guy to swoop in and clean up someone else’s mess and deal with two or three kids pumped out because the woman in question dated only jackasses and still has a secret preference toward it along with a big dose of irresponsibility, enjoy. Now that isn’t what defines every single mother, by any extent, but it defines a very large section of the community here certainly, and I’ve minimal interested in dating someone with a child, especially if the child is under two or there’s more than one. I also tend to not be eager to get involved with a girl who’s excuse is “but he told me he loved me!” Exceptions exist for those who were married or involved with someone a long time, certainly, but if someone was short-term or just knocked up on a one night stand and chose to keep the kid, clearly we have different value and goals, so why shouldn’t I rule them out? You go ahead and prove you’re the best person on the planet like you do with every post, and I’ll go be happy.

On the match.com subject, I tried out True when they had a free trial. I was absolutely appalled at the amount of fake profiles clearly put up by the site itself, and the censorship that went on there. Aside from the site being one horribly coded JavaScript mess forcing you to click one link at a time, trudge trudge trudge, it also would filter out certain words. AIM, Yahoo, instant messenger, etc., were all rewritten to “True messages” or “True instant messenger.” They worked hard to prevent you from establishing outside contact.

It was also pretty easy to spot a fake profile when the reply is “I’m sorry, I don’t think you’re my type, but keep looking, I’m sure you’ll find a match here on True.com!”

I don’t know that Match goes to that same length, though I suspect, and they certainly fudge the numbers. Plus the price, the system as a whole, the way it all works just reeks of…desperation. If I’m down to buying dates, maybe the problem IS me, you know? Plus I’ve had a few women tell me they’d think a guy they meet on Match.com is more serious because he’s put an investment in. These are also the very last women I’d ever want to date, and I generally consider everything they say wrong and/or stupid, so I suspect I’ll continue ignoring their suggestions. Yes, I’m applying the X is always wrong rule here.

5343

Hey, I’m going on … four months? … since my first date with A., and I have absolutely no regrets about using OkCupid over any/all of the other dating sites, because I met her. And I’ve met a lot of other amazing women on OkCupid in the Baltimore/DC area. So maybe it’s a regional thing?

5344

I just think the attitude is inherent wrong and asinine, but that’s just me. Maybe you live in a pigsty and hey, pig’s gonna be a pig.

— Alan

5345

I have been using OKC also.

I’ve had one date so far and it went well. We’ve had a couple more since. Things were going well until she left FOR IRELAND! WTF? (she might be come back, so she says)

Back on the bike after a fall, I am setting up another date from OKC with someone and starting to chat with another woman.

Internet dating is different, but I am having fun.

5346

Not really Internet Dating but just dating in general, but we met over facebook so it counts.

I started talking to a girl this summer that I got to know very well into the beginning of the semester. We have been friends for a little while and we got very close. Unfortunately, she’s my housemate’s sister.

Uh-oh.

So, being the intelligent,well mannered and respectful gentleman that I am, began hooking up with the housemate’s sister almost immediately. For the past month or so has been lots of fun just hanging out and whatever, but I started feeling really bad. I didn’t tell my housemate about any of it. He’s a good friend and he is very protective and I knew it would hurt our relationship if I continued doing stuff with her.

So I decided to end it. It wasn’t pretty. Words were said over my virtue of being a good person that were correct, because I definitely lead her on knowing that I shouldn’t be doing what I was doing, and that I’d probably end up stopping before anything went too far, where as she just thought I was interested in her.

Felt like shit. But she and I just reconciled. So everything’s good.

But now I’ve got to go back to the hunt.

5347

Uh, what’s wrong with dating your friend’s sister? Edit: Ah, the whole sexy time only angle.

5348

Yeah, I don’t get it. If you want to be with the girl, and you feel it’s necessary to get her’s brother permission, go talk with him. Seems pretty straight forward to me.

5349

You don’t know the brother. He’s super protective, and I know it’ll only cause problems.

5350

Just sounds like a way out to me. Not that I judge, but stated as someone who has looked for a way out once or twice himself.

5351

Way out for who? Me or her? Because it’s my decision, and it’s not me just trying to get out of the relationship, because I do find her fun and attractive and all the other requisite traits that I find are necessary for companionship.

This is the kind of protectiveness where he gets pretty upset if you make a joke about his family. Think the original Scarface to what would happen if he ever found out I was even considering thinking it was okay to date her.

5352

Sorry. I’m confused. You’ve already messed around with her, right? Hooked up with her. Whatever you kids are saying these days. He is going to find out about this eventually. You know that, right? If she’s fun and attractive, why not just get the discovery portion of this trial out of the way so you can enjoy her requisite traits?

-xtien

“It’s a date. It’s a scam. Whatever…”

5353

How old will she have to be before he allows her to date outside the family?

5354

Is he a grown man? I mean, unless you’ve got a known history of being an asshole to ladies or something, I don’t see how, as your friend and room-mate, he could honestly react poorly if you went to him and said you had gotten to be pretty close with his sister and you were interested in taking it further. I don’t care how protective he is, if he respects you and you approach him like an adult, he’ll come around eventually. I just don’t see how mad he can reasonably get to the knowledge that you actually like his sister as a person when it’s so easy to point out that going “Scarface” is downright childish.

Of course, the key here is not mentioning that you’ve been boning his sister until maybe you’ve been dating her awhile, because there is no way, “Sorry, I’ve been fucking your sister,” is going to go well for anyone even a little bit protective. I mean, let’s face it, that is kind of a shitty thing to do to your friend and there will be consequences no matter what if/when he finds out.

5355

This. Hence the way out comment.

5356

Yes. And i’ve spoken with her about my reasoning behind not pursuing it further; she agrees that it would probably end badly. I’m sure he’ll find out eventually, but it’s better than telling him I’m still doing it.

It sucks, but it’s definitely the smarter thing to do. She’s not my dream girl, so I’m not really losing out on my soul mate (I don’t think). But she was hot and fun and legitimately likes me, which makes this really suck.

Edit; He’s not that close of a friend tha I think he’d feel comfortable with it. I am not a douchebag to women, but I’m also not someone who just sits around and doesn’t pursue, so there are certain jokes from closer friends that he hears that make me sound out to be a douche when it comes to dating girls. I’m sure in good time I could make the transition easier, but as it stands, it’d only lead to us not being friends, and an awkward 8-9 remaining months on our lease.

5357

Well, I don’t see what shoe size has to do with anything!

Edit: You win this round, Demon G Sides! shakes fist

5358

Right, so a way out, as others are saying.

You’re not interested enough to brave her brother. That’s not very interested at all in my book.

5359

So you either need to not know him at all or be super tight with him in order to pursue a relationship with a relative of his? Sounds like you’re letting this guy’s hang ups dictate your decisions. Man up already and if he has a problem with it you can tell him it’s none of his damn business as his sister is a grown woman (I’m assuming, though this all does sound like high school shit).

5360

yeah, what TrunkDr said…assuming we’re talking about adults here. I’m wondering if that’s the case now…