That is unbelievably awesome. Was it evident from the rest of the profile that it was intentional?
ZekeDMS
5382
The entire profile was a spectacular combination of misspellings and poor grammar, really. That’s just the part that really captured the essence.
i like altertive music and it changes a lot.
6th degrees of Kevin Bacon, go ahead name anyone and i can get to it sonner or later. right now i’m working on elmo. He is a tuff little bugger.
If in person you would smile at me in a store or a bar than you should email here.
Gourmand
5383
Yeah, today I read about 3 profiles that mentioned grammar and spelling. In each case, not a single ‘i’ was capitalized to ‘I’. The first letters of every sentence was similarly neglected. Instantly killed interest.
Related topic - other items that instantly kill interest:
- “Work hard, Play harder”.
- “Try to keep up”.
- Long lists of what you’re NOT looking for pasted into the “You should message me if:” section.
- Answering every question on your profile with some variant of “My art / music means so much to me. It’s my life!” I imagine this is the polar opposite of nerds answering every question in the form of “Boy, I sure do loves me some vid-ya games and technologies”.
Curious to hear if others have a similar list. So you know, I don’t feel like such a grumpy old man.
Anyone who mentions “Family” as the first thing she can’t live without probably lives with her parents and is still dependent on them.
Anyone who says anything about “overcoming the past” or “wounded but moving on”, I stay away from.
Twilight fans will probably sabotage a condom if you show the slightest bit of affection in their general direction.
That’s just three off the top of my head. Then there’s stuff related to pictures - pictures of exes with you? Not over them. Every picture of you includes a drink? A slush who can’t socialize without being at least tipsy. Pictures are all shoulders-up? Fat, and feels ugly because of it.
And of course, these are gross generalizations. :)
ZekeDMS
5385
I think the majors have been covered, though I’m not instantly opposed to a girl living at home. This city’s housing is awful, as is the job market. Lots of people living at home right now, but if she has kids and lives at home, that’s a no go.
I think I judge mostly by tastes. Brokencyde, Grey’s Anatomy, and Twilight suggest we’re not going to match. Especially if she considers Twilight (or Romeo and Juliet, for that matter) super romantic best thing ever. Creepy male protagonist, hollow female protagonist…probably got some emotional issues, if not unrealistic expectations or a lack of personality.
Fat girl angle shots are a big red flag, so are duckface shots. FGAS especially, though. I’m a fatty, but I’m not hiding it via angles and vertical stripes, and unless you’re morbidly obese (or anorexic), I’m not really that worried over it. Exception for the boob mismatch. Really thin girls with giant chests and really fat girls with flat chests just don’t look right, and generally I think it says you’re NOT matching up to your body type. There’s always exceptions to that too, but it’s a general guideline I go with.
And if some variety of “don’t message me unless you’re at least <height>” is included, you can fuck right off. Especially if earlier in the profile you complain about men being shallow.
I doubt I’d jump that far from just “Family” in the can’t live without. I’d at least try to get to know her and see if that’s actually true.
I probably should stay away from those, but for some reason I feel a desire to “fix it”…
Good advice…I hadn’t been seeing Twilight as more than just a lame choice of a movie to like, but maybe it should be more of a warning sign, gross generalization or not.
I usually look for 3 things - attractive photos with at least one full body shot, interesting in something nerdy (sci-fi/fantasy books/movies/TV, board games, science, philosophy), and an answer to “what are you doing on Friday night” that mentions at least occasionally going out drinking.
Whereas I look for an answer to that question that isn’t[ going out drinking. :)
To each his own!
ZekeDMS
5388
Indeed! If someone’s typical Friday night is going out dancing, that’s not something we’ll be managing to do together, and as I’ve a fairly active avoidance of bars and clubs, out drinkin’ just isn’t compatible with me.
I tend to shy away from people who have only (or any) photos of themselves taken via mirror/outstretched arm (often an FGAS). Do you not have any friends? Is the self-timer too difficult for you to figure out? Either option is something I’m wary of.
Omniscia
5389
Ooh, maybe I should message her. I can get from me to Kevin Bacon in just three steps.
Shit Elmo’s been on screen with all kinds of celebrities over the decades. I’m willing to bet you can get to KB in four steps.
Yeeeeeeah, when the response-to-contact ratio has dropped below 1:30, that’s a sign that OKCupid is a useless vehicle for my attempts to meet people. Time to pull the plug on that particular experiment.
Ah well, new Fallout game this month, good enough replacement for social interaction.
ElGuapo
5392
Heh. I feel like that sometimes, about videogames. Though I have yet to pick videogames over sex, I’m sure that day will come.
I look at it like RTS games. I am horrible at real-time strategy games. Occasionally I try and play one because a lot of my friends are really into them. Inevitably, I get crushed because I just don’t have the skillset for it, and I wind up really hating the people who are good at them. But if I’m not losing - I don’t have that animosity.
Dating seems to be the same way. If I’m failing at it, I start to really resent those who are more successful. Thus, to avoid that, I should stick to things I know I’m good at.
Hey, Fallout!
I’m sort of in the same boat OkCupid-wise. But, I really really hate being lonely. So, I’m switching venues, not giving up.
This week I was recounting my tragic lack of rhythm to a coworker. As a result, we’re apparently going swing / salsa dancing sometime. She’s excited to help me find some ladies.
That sounds quite promising. :-) Good luck!
I’ve had a kind of weird week in the internet dating realm - went to a speed dating event (organized by an online site, so I guess it counts) and ran into 3 girls I’d already met including one I’d dated for a while, then I’m looking through matches on OKC and run across both a female friend of mine and the ex of one of my friends. It’s like the internet is telling me I’m running out of girls to meet in Boston.
Zylon
5398
It’s where everybody knows your name.
“Intelligence” is slightly mislabeled. It should be “Intellectualism”.
And they all think you’re a great guy who just isn’t right for them.
